What I am most proud of is not an award or any kind of medal. There is no ribbon or trophy on my shelf that shows how achieved or great I am. What I am most proud of is my spirit and how far I have come mentally. When I was in middle school I struggled a lot with my mental health. A part of me despised myself and hated my body. I looked at myself in the mirror in disgust and actually believed there was something wrong with me. I was bullied a lot in school for being ‘too skinny’, ‘too short’, ‘annoying’, etc. Kids at school got meaner every year and their words left internal scars where hope, happiness, and innocence used to be. As the years continued I tried to ignore my hateful, angry feelings towards the world, but that only made them worse. Those feelings continued to brew within my sad heart, becoming hard to control. Freshman year became the “Year of Madness” because every awful feeling that I had balled up inside of me came pouring out like a waterfall of anger. I chose to stop caring and completely ignore reason, hence why I started to act out by getting into relationships that were not real and doing bad things with people I should not have hung out with. I became someone I did not recognize, trapped in a body I hated. I disrespected my family, ignored my morals, and decided to be exactly what the world wanted me to be. By doing this I rejected my true self which just made me even angrier. Eventually my mother could not control the beast that I had become. She sent me to New York and Puerto Rico with my family without a phone or social media to distract me. It was a month hiatus from the real world. At first I absolutely hated it, but looking back now I understand it was the start of an important journey to finding myself. When I went to Puerto Rico I watched the people of my island celebrate happily just because they were alive another day. Some of these people lived in homes that would be considered shacks in America without clean water or a lot of food. However, they still woke up with smiles on their faces and partied at the beach or paraded through their streets. I found it strange, but freeing. If these people who had so little could be so happy, then I could definitely be happy with me. When I left Puerto Rico and returned home, I promised myself to find happiness with myself. Let me tell you, it was a long journey. I did not truly feel happy with myself until a few months into quarantine. Though quarantine was a tough time for many, I was able to use it to refine my thinking and heal the scars that hurt so much in middle school. Quarantine allowed me to focus more on my mental health and body positivity. It allowed me to look at myself everyday and work to make me more of a priority. Every distraction of the outside world was gone. I worked hard every day to push myself and develop the confidence I needed to succeed. To develop the happiness I deserve. Now I am completely in love with who I am and what I look like. I do not think of the bullies anymore and rather think of every struggle as a step in the path to complete self love and happiness. I am proud of my journey and it has shown me that true happiness comes from within and you can never be happy in any type of relationship if you are not happy with you first. I hope to continue to share my story of self love and appreciation to others who struggle like I did. All I want to do is help people because it is what we all are called to do. Mental health is so important and in order for people to be happy they must find happiness within themselves.

When I was young I always heard about this mighty Jesus that saved us by dying on the cross, but I had no clue what that meant. Jesus seemed like folklore, like Santa or the Easter bunny. I prayed every night, signing off with "In Jesus' name we pray, Amen," but I didn't know why. I went to church and enjoyed the activities, but was clueless as to what Sunday school meant when they talked about "salvation" or "The Holy Spirit". It seemed like tradition, just something you did. It was not until I got to middle school that Jesus' name finally meant something. A friend took me to her church one day and said it was going to be fun. I didn't think much of it, I always had fun in church, even if I didn't understand the lessons. However, when I first heard the pastor speak I knew I needed to hear it. Again, I never paid too much attention in church. I normally came for the food or the activities going on after, but this time I couldn't take my eyes off the pastor. It was like every word he said spoke directly to my soul. I couldn't believe it. On that day I truly changed. I remember going to that church every week after. I never forgot to take notes and made sure to write every important word the pastor said. After going to that church for a while I started a youtube channel to talk about what Jesus had done in my life. I talked about his lessons and the teachings I learned in church. I finally found a purpose, a connection to God. However, it was not enough to stick. See, because of my faith I was bullied and people at school would make fun of my videos or call me names in class. I started to distance myself from God and all he had for me because of how awful kids were to me. I stopped going to church, started getting in trouble more often, got involved with the wrong people; it was an absolute mess. By my freshman year of high school, I was at the lowest point of my life. I hated myself and distracted myself so much I didn't realize how far I steered away from God. That summer my family took me to Puerto Rico to get away from high school drama. That vacation changed my perspective of myself and my life. Seeing how happy and content these people, my people, were with having so little changed me. I finally understood what God wanted for me. When I got home I worked hard to get myself back to where I was with my faith in God, however, I figured out God didn't want me to be who I was before. He wanted me to use what I learned not to restitch the relationship we had, but add on to it. Fast forward to the summer of 2020. I was reading my bible more often, went to every virtual church service, restarted my youtube, and my faith was the strongest it had ever been. However, due to the pandemic, my family was struggling. My mom was a victim of worry, and my stepfather was consumed by what was going on in the world. I went outside and got on my knees. I started to cry because of the anxiety I felt for my family, myself, and the world. I asked God, "God I need you right now. I don't know what to do, what do YOU want me to do?" I will never forget what happened at that moment. The wind wooshed over me and the sky turned gray. Then I heard a voice say in my head say, "Spread my word to my people." It was so strange but familiar at the same time. I never experience anything like that before. Then, the wind wooshed in reverse and the sky changed back from gray to blue. At that moment I knew my purpose in this world. I am meant to spread the word of God to his people. From that day forward every word out of my mouth was and is spoken to glorify his name till the day I die. You ask me what the name of Jesus means to me? I tell you Jesus is the life force that keeps me living, the spirit that fills my soul, and the voice in every word I speak.

My faith in God has always defined who I was. I am a very spiritual person and I try my best to focus on the word of God. However, in recent months my family and I had started to feel hopeless and we had been wondering whether or not we even mattered. Stress levels had been on the rise in recent months and personally, I felt like no one was listening. That was until I finally had gotten the message I needed, the one I had been continually asking for. One day a few weeks ago my family and I had felt more lost than ever and we were concerned that we would never get back to normal. My distressed state led me to sit in the grass in the backyard and pray. The backyard has become my safe place in recent months and I have been feeling the closest to God when I am surrounded by his nature. Anyway, as I was kneeling on the grass I started to cry out to God. I said something along the lines of, "God I am lost. I don't know what to do, what can I do? What do you want me to do." At that moment the sky turned gray and a huge gust of wind blew all around me. It is important to note that it was not a very windy day. The sky was clear and it was very sunny. There were barely any clouds in the sky if any. However, while I was sitting there it seemed as if the clouds formed out of nowhere. The wind was so strong that the trees around me started to sway dramatically. Then, I heard a voice. It was so strange, yet familiar as if I knew exactly who had spoken. I knew it was God who was giving me the answer that I so longed for. He said, "Spread my word to my people." That was it. I was so surprised and a bit frightened. I asked the voice, "God, is that you? Is that what you want me to do? Spread the word?" After I asked that the wind had blown passed me in the opposite direction and the clouds receded. The sky was a bright blue again and the sun was super bright. Then, I started to cry. It was such an emotionally profound experience, I knew that I had just heard the voice of God. No one can ever tell me that God is not real because he is as real to me as the computer I am typing this on or the chair I am sitting on. He spoke to me. Out of everyone on this Earth he spoke to me. I know what my mission is. I am meant to spread God's word to his people across the globe. I will do whatever I can to reach as many people as I can. My goal is to travel across the world, not just to write news stories about different foreign issues going on, but to preach to people who may have never heard the name of Jesus. I want people to know that there is more for them in this life than just school, work, and what everyone else is doing. Due to this experience, I know my purpose in this life and I will do everything in my power to glorify God's name. I finally understand that there is so much more out there for all of us than what is expected. I never thought that at sixteen I would understand why God put me here and what my purpose is. Some people go their whole lives without figuring it out. I will not let my existence go to waste worrying about worldly things that do not matter. The only thing that matters now is living the way God wants me to live.