There are many things in life that are meant to be taken slow, maturing being one of them. Most kids have their whole childhood to figure out the process of becoming an adult, but my timeline was cut short. I grew up in the shadow of a professional basketball player by day, but an abuser by night. On one hand, I was grateful to learn from one of the best athletes around, but on the other hand, I wished I had the opportunity to be a kid without being exposed to mental abuse, therapy, and a toxic parent that carried into my personal life. By the age of 12 I had been through custody battles, visitations, and therapy sessions all because of a father figure who used his manipulation to make me fall into a false sense of security. I was faced with the challenges of living up to his athletic expectations as well as training my brain to mature at an early age to cope with the mental abuse.
I started playing volleyball in 6th grade to shift my focus. Because of my background, I put in an immense amount of dedication into this sport, and eventually grew into a very talented player. Although all contact with my dad had been cut off, he still made an appearance at some of my games. Since I was still young, his presence affected my performance. After accepting that I had no control over his whereabouts, I decided to tackle my mental situation and learn different techniques to put me at ease that way I could truly give my all to this sport.
Even though my father played a big role in my mental maturity, he wasn’t the only challenge I faced. I went into high school with the intention of making a name for myself, one that didn’t have my dads name attached to it. I started off my high school career strong, but then came the injuries. By the age of 17, I had broken my elbow, tore my Labrum, both Patellar Tendons, and my MCL. Recovery was exhausting, but my end goal sat prominently in the front of my head. I wanted to be just as successful as my father, but prove to myself and others that although having good genes was helpful, accomplishing your dreams was something only you had control over.
One thing from my trauma that I proudly carry with me to this day is the inability to let myself, or others down.
Thanks to watching my strong independent mother that refused to give up, I choose now to look at setbacks from a different perspective. Because of this, I am able to push myself to be the best person, student, and athlete I can be, and I take pride in knowing people can count on me in any situation. I’ve learned to take difficult situations and turn them into fuel to lead me to success.
I’m proud to say that now, I see a high school student athlete, verbally committed to play Division volleyball at Mercer University who pushed through years of unfair treatment and hardships to get to where I am. But that’s not the only thing in my vision.
On top of my accomplishments, I see a person who is not a victim, someone who is hungry for more, and willing to give my all in every situation. My experiences in life led me to a degree in Psychology, I truly believe that I can use my experiences to help others cope and manage trauma, especially as children.