My father committed suicide when I was twelve years old. My mother tried everything to help him from committing him to several psychiatric hospitals, hiring the best psychologists, enrolling him in many groups, they even considered electroconvulsive therapy, but none showed any results. After his death, my mother's, sister's, and my own mental health declined rapidly. My mother was diagnosed with PTSD and I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Due to my father's suicide and my own family's record with mental health, I became very interested in psychology. Like how when someone loses a family member to cancer they may be compelled to become an oncologist. I became very interested in the cause of mental illness, especially people like my father since he was not going through loss or strife but was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder all the same. What most interested me is the top demographic for suicide is white, middle aged-men, often those with no cause to be depressed. Very little information is known about why depression is caused and there is no one cure for it. I want to study and discover why people develop depression and discover more effective ways of treating this disease. I know I can make a difference in suicide prevention because I am an intelligent, hardworking, persevering person. Nothing would make me feel happier or fulfill me more than preventing unnecessary death and saving people from experiencing what I had to deal with and still deal with to this day. I want to dedicate my life to researching depression and how to effectively cure it. Suicide prevention would be much easier if we actually knew what causes depression. Even if I don't discover it within my lifetime I still want to make groundwork for future generations. Mental illness is a disease that can be cured and prevented and I am dedicated to discovering just how to do that.

Even though mental health awareness and practices have evolved greatly over the last fifty years there are still areas in which we can improve. As a high schooler, I have noticed several things that I think can be changed to help those with mental health. In schools, mental health is briefly touched upon as "If you ever need anyone to talk to you can talk to your counselor." or something along those lines. This makes mental health out to be a very secretive and almost taboo subject, even though we as a society have made much progress. The one thing I would suggest to help people struggling with mental health is to educate more. Have school-wide seminars informing about different forms of disorders and what thoughts are normal and which ones aren't; not many people know the difference between what is normal for them versus harmful. If we can define when you should seek personalized help it will be easier for people to see that they do require help. It could also educate on ways for others to help people that do have mental health issues, such as fixing their language choice and noticing more minute signs that someone might be struggling. Instead of saying "I feel depressed" or "I'm having a panic attack" they could correct that language so when someone is actually feeling that way it is easier for people to understand the seriousness of the situation. Overall, education and knowledge is the best way to help facilitate good mental health not only in schools but also in the workplace. It will help people to be more understanding and helpful if they truly understand the signs of mental health struggles and what exactly that means for an individual. Afterall, it is easy to overlook issues you don't understand.

Honesty is a value that is important to my morals due to my personal experiences. I did not have a particularly good time in middle school or high school. I was bullied but not physically, I would be spoken about behind my back. I've also lost several friends because no one would speak to me honestly. I would ask if everything was okay in our relationship and if I was being a good friend but they would just passively agree and then talk about me behind my back. This kind of behavior is very hurtful and really changes a person at their core. One of these changes is my respect for the value of honesty. I know firsthand what happens when you don't speak to someone truthfully and how that will affect them negatively. I now strive to be honest and speak freely with all of my friends and partners because it is a sign of respect. I show who I am as a person when I am able to speak my mind without fear and I wish that everyone were big enough and brave enough to do the same.

No one has an easy time in life. They could be the smiley girl who interrupts class time and upsets the teacher, or the annoying basketball player who tries way too hard in gym class, or the quiet kid who eats their lunch in the music room, alone, like me. All of us have our own struggles that we keep inside and influence the way we act. Sometimes those actions we take are poorly-judged and rash, but no one deserves to be judged based on a rumor or one action. Humans are social individuals and no matter how much someone claims they're fine being alone or they don' need anyone to talk to, it's not true. This was my exact way of thinking until my friends left me based on a rumor and the fact that I didn't spend enough time with them. They left me at a time where I needed friends the most. My mom had gotten cancer and had a near-death experience because of it and my mental health was declining rapidly. Due to this personal experience, I have now viewed how others act and behave differently. I no longer take it at face value but expect that they have their own issues and I can't control what they do but I can control what I say and do and can choose to affect their day in a positive way instead of a negative one. So I guess what I would share is: there is no way for you to know what someone is going through, so choose kindness every time.

The skill I would call my best is the one I've dedicated myself to the longest and that would be the trumpet. I've done several things to improve in the nine years I've been practicing including joining every school music group band, jazz band, liturgical band, marching band, and taking opportunities outside of school such as the Rutgers Mason Gross band camp. Since I started in 2012 I have used every resource available to me and used my own time and dedication to make myself the best in my school at the trumpet. I was field major in my marching band as well as first chair and section leader for two years in concert band, jazz band, and marching band. I have come to the point where I am now able to help others improve in addition to myself. Even though I have achieved all of my goals in high school I still improve my technical skill and range everyday so I can achieve my goals for the Rutgers marching band.