Imagine having your life completely altered while doing something you love. My girls' varsity lacrosse team from Winter Park High School was competing against Boone High School in the district tournament on April 12, 2022. With only one objective in mind, tensions were at an all-time high. A few minutes before halftime, I saw that I was the player closest to the ground ball and tried to retrieve it. However, as soon as I did, I was surrounded by opponents, which caused me to fall face-first. I tried to get up, but my teammates flocked to help. When I did, I had a sudden rush of unease and vertigo. They advised me repeatedly not to play, but I ignored their advice and continued, scoring in the process. When we won the game, my mother and I sat in the car, and what I believed to be a mild concussion became a serious one.
I had to perform multiple tests, including the Baseline ImPACT test, which measures verbal memory, reaction time, and processing speed, to see if I was indeed concussed. Compared to my test from earlier in the year, I significantly underperformed in each category. I experienced every symptom imaginable, including, dizziness, confusion, and memory loss. It is quite rare for a female to be diagnosed with a concussion given that we are required to wear helmets and that it is a non-contact sport. Who knew that this one incident would lead to a greater issue than the one I was already dealing with.
To be completely vulnerable in my personal essay, I was diagnosed with panic/anxiety disorder with mild depression in March 22’. I hardly had time to consider this new label. No young person that I am aware of raises their hand and declares, "Yes, this is what I've always wanted, emotional instability and a head injury."
As I sit here now, I recall a conversation I had with my mother before my accident where I admitted to feeling extremely tired and exhausted. Grade pressure, college/major selection, and social responsibility are all key concerns in the eleventh grade. After everything, she said that this accident was God's way of urging me to take it easy. I never expected this to happen to me, but it did, and I learned from it, looking back. I continued to show up and support my teammates at every game screaming from the sidelines. I gave myself grace and finished the year strong in my academics and refused to make excuses for myself.
Through this challenging time in my life, I relied on my family and Christian faith. I also realized what I wanted to study in college. As a psychology major, my ultimate career goal is to become a licensed clinical psychologist. Within communities of color, in which people have historically faced unethical or poor treatment from the medical establishment, these messages might include attitudes and mindsets about mental health problems being a sign of weakness, or therapy being for rich white people.
Externally, the lack of representation of people of color in research studies, in images of therapists and in the mental health workforce just reinforces the idea that therapy was not designed for them.
My goal is to change these cultural narratives by providing education about mental health and access to culturally responsive therapists.
I am driven by a desire to help individuals who are struggling with mental health issues and to work with them to improve their quality of life. I believe that with the right support and treatment, anyone can overcome their challenges and lead a fulfilling life.