1. I am passionate about simple things such as video games and reading. Complaining about the upcoming AP Calc test I have to others in the class who are just as stressed as I am. I like the chances to make my friends and family laugh, and to laugh at the little jabs they make at me that are just a little too true. I am passionate about life, and how we as a race have become so evolved as to create a technology that communicates to people across the globe in seconds. I find passion in talking about dreams and how they communicate our deepest fears and hopes. I find passion in how people can grow attached to such different things, like books or sports teams, and that secretly there are such huge, complex reasons for these passions of others. 2. Like my what statement, there is no one reason why I have what it takes to overcome obstacles. I have struggled with my self-worth, crippling anxiety, family drama, and more. I have been stabbed in the back and other stuff that still has no comparison to other people's trauma by a fraction, yet, I would say that I can overcome obstacles because, at the end of the day, I don't want to be drowning in the loathing of the world, but instead be proud of what I had personally accomplished. When I had friends leave me for those they believed were better, I didn't hide away and blame myself (I did cry though). When I realized that I wasn't considered to be good enough among my peers, I stood up, shook myself off, and continued. I made new friends, smiled, and didn't let past failed friendships hinder me. When I had to cut off a friend that was using me and treating me badly, I knew our friendship would never go back to how friendly and wholesome it was, yet when she hid away from me, either out of guilt or self-pity, I continued with a warm smile to her and continued. 3. When it comes to giving back to those less fortunate than I am, I look to examples that have been demonstrated by my parents. When my Uncle's family moved and they had nothing in their cabinets except for cereal, my parents bought them enough groceries to sustain them for a month at least. When we found no use for our old breakfast table, instead of selling the beat-up furniture for a quick buck, my parents gave it away for free. The same happened with our unused basketball hoop and old mattresses. When I have the opportunity to give to those less fortunate than I am, I want to do it by being empathetic, with a smile on my face and a joke on my lips. I want to remain humble in my ways, whether helping someone with math homework or giving them a ride to their house. Ultimately, the show is hard to describe, but I want to lessen the burden that others around me are under if I can, despite what it takes ( as long as it is within reason, I won't go commiting crimes because someone wants a playstation they can't afford.)

One way in which I have grown over the past year is that I have learned to be comfortable in who I was, and what inspired this personal growth within me was my friends and family. I have had aggressive anxiety since I can remember, whether I was with family or friends, and it caused me to "hide in my shell" for the majority of my life. My teammates wouldn't notice I was standing right beside them, and I was never one person's "go-to", wrecking my confidence even more. When we had to find partners in class I was usually the last to be paired off, and I grew to accept it, being invisible among my peers. Yet, as I struggled through, one random day during a doctor's visit, my mom said, "Could we please get her on anxiety medication?" This caught me off-guard. First, that was a thing? Why did no one tell me sooner?! Secondly, how on earth would this help me? I felt so lost down the spiral of my lack of self-worth how could some little white pills fix anything? I took the pills consistently, and slowly, the changes started to show. I soon began to not fear raising my hand, or starting up random conversations with my peers. I began to smile at people that I didn't know just to do it and interacted in class rather than watch from the sidelines. Now, I won't pretend that my whole world has turned around because of some magical drug I started taking. I still get anxious. I fidget and pick at my nails in stressful situations. I hesitate to say my true opinions to people I have just met or known all my life for the fear of people realizing I'm not good enough, like the voice in my head tries to convince me of at times. Yet, overall, through this past year, what I have learned is that people are ultimately so much more capable of what they give themselves credit for. I have learned that I can express myself and speak to those around me without the hindering fear of being mocked. I have learned that overall the only true person I have held back was myself, and once I could lessen the chokehold of being the "perfect silent student," I could be happy in my personality, who I was, and who I am still growing to be.

Tennis has shaped my future in ways that I hadn't expected. Tennis was never a sport I had pictured myself playing. I had participated in sports from gymnastics and ballet in elementary school to volleyball and marching band in middle and the beginning of high school. Then, throughout two summers between my 9th and 10th-grade year, my mom would say occasionally, "Do you wanna go play tennis?" At first I was resistant, hitting a ball with a wide racket gently so that the ball wouldn't go flying like a softball was a hard concept to grasp, as I had the constant urge to whack it as hard as I could, but the gentleness and finess of the sport spoke to me like no other sport I played had. When I played soccer, or softball, or basketball, I was always getting lectured. "You're not being aggressive! You have to step in there and steal it! Why do you let them shove you, FIGHT BACK!" But the thing is, that had never been my true nature. I am a person that stands and waits, watches, predicts then acts without hesitation. I don't elbow, I sneak in and go unnoticed. I always thought that there had to be something wrong with me, how was it so easy for everyone else while I was the weakest link on the team? Then as I got better with the practice between my mom and I, she asked, "Why don't you join tennis? You seem to just... light up when you play!" The thought hadn't crossed my mind, I liked to play, but having to compete against other people in a match? I joined. It seemed like a decision made on a whim, but boy I haven't regretted it. Tennis feels like the sport I was meant to play all along. I am not some all-star player, being the third seed in my high school team, yet I'm just happy to be on the courts in all honesty. On the tennis courts across from my opponent, I get to watch them, meet them, and play. I get to calculate my moves and stand with confidence on my court and stand tall. I get to hit hard and fast and catch balls that seem to be just out of reach but won out of my determination and not the expectation of a team. Tennis has proved to me that I may not work the way that other athletes are meant to, but that even if I stand outside of the box, think a different way, and work a different way, I can accomplish my future in my way and get to stand tall doing it with the confidence of my unique being.

My experience with mental illness has been hard, as is to be expected with the description that having an illness carries. My particular mental illness is general and social anxiety, stemming from traumatic instances in my elementary school years that have plagued the rest of my life since. I could barely look people in the eye, apologized for taking up space, and wished that I could be a different, better, more competent person. I have been on anxiety medication since January of my sophomore year, and yet I still have the struggles of not being on the medication. I can't speak to my parents in emotionally stressful situations and we struggle to connect in emotional aspects due to my unhealthy mindset that they don't understand. Therefore my parents and I can't talk through our issues and there is a gap left between what we both want and need to say and what we assume the other intends, and it strains our relationships at inconvenient times. Mental illness has influenced my beliefs in that I have come to approach people as gently and openly as possible. Mental illness is not something that can be defined and treated like a cut, but more like a bruise that you have to wait to fade away over years of work and care. I believe that actually everyone suffers from some sort of mental illness and that it is just that it is easier to recognize it in some rather than others. IF therapy could be offered to everyone free of charge I would personally throw them into it so that communication among those who struggle and those who don't understand the struggle can have open conversations void of misunderstandings, but I also believe the world was never meant to be a perfect place and that struggling is meant to be a part of life. My career aspirations are to pursue a degree in engineering, which is a field that is not as socially active as a job in business, and it gives me a chance to pursue a passion with minimal hindrance to myself. Although communication is one of the keys to this job, which can be something I struggle with in certain situations, I believe that with people that love and support me at my side, I can still accomplish my goals with my mental illness, whether it tries to bring me down or I one day conquer it.

My dream in life is to live a life where I get to experience everything life has to offer. I want to wake up each morning to learning more about myself, to making new friends, to capturing more memories, and to studying late into the night on what I am passionate about. I want to look back on my life when I am old and tell myself, "I have no regrets."