The past decade came with failures and wrong choices but, many learning experiences. Within the past decade, I have faced homelessness, depression, the loss of a loved one, and health issues. When I was younger, my depression stemmed from my low self-esteem so, I would frequently quit everything that I got involved in. I bounced from job to job and even dropped out of college in 2015. I was afraid to commit to anything deeming it “too hard” because I feared change. Even more so, I feared being successful because that brought more responsibility. Fast forward to today, I am still progressing to becoming the woman that I want to be. I am excellent because now I put my heart into it no matter what I do. Whether it be a job, school, or ministry; I give 100% every time. I am excellent because I am willing to sacrifice what’s convenient to rise to the next level. 5 years ago, I was selfish and only thought about myself but now, I constantly think of ways to serve others. I refuse to turn back from how far I’ve come because I truly believe I have a greater purpose. My purpose is wrapped in helping others improve their lives and give them a voice. I was homeless between 2012-2013 and those were hard years because I was faced with abandonment from my mother. I had to learn to navigate and move on with my life at a young age. Now that I have overcome homelessness, I am much more empathetic as a person, especially toward the homeless. I want to change the world through media and the performing arts in every area. Even after graduating, I will continue my education while I am pursuing my career. I want to obtain a PhD in communications. I also want to be an actor, creative director, and filmmaker. Media is a powerful tool to spread information worldwide as we’ve seen within this past decade. Before I achieve all of this, I am serving in the area I’m currently in. I have volunteered with many organizations over the past 10 years such as the YMCA, American Red Cross, and a local homeless shelter called “Haven for Hope.” However, my most recent experience is through my church, Victory Outreach International, where I have obtained leadership and volunteer experiences. I have been part of this ministry for 5 years and today, I am currently serving in the children’s ministry, worship team, and production team. Outside of that, I volunteered with K-love Radio in 2023 to serve at Grace Pavillion Community Outreach at their Health Fair and back-to-school event. As of today, I feel that my greatest accomplishment is my walk with God. 5 years ago, I was not motivated to keep living. I considered suicide for a brief time because I truly felt like a complete failure. I am proud of the woman that I have become and will keep striving to be. It was hard to believe that I can achieve great things. When I made mistakes, I was very hard on myself. It is because of God that I am transformed and now believe that I have a bright future.

When I was a child, I remember watching the movie, “A Beautiful Mind,” with my grandmother. The movie was about the true story of John Nash, a brilliant mathematician who achieved remarkable things at a young age. Nash, however, suffered from paranoia schizophrenia. In the movie, we see him suffering from different delusions and as a child, I did not connect the dots on my mother’s behavior as she began to develop. In the movie, John Nash would talk to people who weren’t there and I had witnessed my mother do that same thing. In the late 90s to early 2000s, I lived a relatively normal childhood while raised in a single-parent home. My mother was a college graduate and an author. She purchased her first home around 1999 and became an entrepreneur. She even had stable employment at a non-profit where she counseled women. Around 2003 however, she began to change. Her behavior became more erratic after she lost her job. Some days I would catch her pacing back and forth mumbling to herself or mentioning something or “someone” was after her. Some days she would act like herself but others, it was more unnerving. This continued for several years. After I graduated high school in 2011, her behavior became unhinged. We were on a road trip when she got the idea that we were being followed. We “ran” from state to state and ended up becoming homeless jumping from shelter to shelter. In November of that same year, we came to San Antonio, TX where she dropped me off at a shelter called “Haven For Hope” and said it was for my protection. I watched her drive and did not see her for over a year. In 2013, she would begin to pop in and out of my life saying she must protect me from “them.” Her delusions had become more severe. Before she passed, I remember her being in a constant state of dread but I was at a loss of how to help her. I spent the night with her one day hoping to comfort her and she bolted the door shut and attached bells on the door in case of intruders. I knew that her health physical and mental was getting worse every day. In August of 2017, she died of a blood clot due to the neglect of her health even when I tried to convince her to go to the doctor on regular visits. Unfortunately, because of the hallucinations, she thought the doctor was after her as well. The entire time I tried to discuss health issues with her, she would not budge stating that she was “fine” and to just pray for her. Mental health in both the black community and religious community continues to be a taboo topic for this reason. I find myself frustrated with communities of faith because the idea of mental health tends to be rejected. Many people throw everything on the supernatural but sometimes, people need to pursue professional help. I know many people who have been through traumatic situations including myself who ignored their problems for years. Whether it's a job or ministry, people stay busy to cover their pain. Sometimes, they fear being seen as weak or “not having faith” when they admit they have mental health issues. Instead of remaining frustrated, I decided to become more educated on different mental health issues, particularly dealing with schizophrenia. In my pursuit of a degree in communications, I plan on becoming a creative director. I want to give a voice to those who struggle with mental health a voice in an environment without judgment or stigma. Millions of people suffer in silence like my mother did and are afraid to express themselves for fear of being perceived a certain way. My life goal is to use mediums like movies and digital media to educate the population about mental health in fun and creative ways. Soon, I would love to produce a documentary about schizophrenia. The best way to advocate for a group of people is through education and information.