Hello! My name is Alexis Browning and I'm a first generation college student. In my family I am the second oldest out of my siblings. I have three sisters and three brothers, however my parents are divorced and both have remarried. An important thing to know about me is that my mental health wasn't always the greatest growing up. I've been dealing with mild to severe depression ever since middle school. I was officially diagnosed around 2018 to 2019 and was put on the medication Zoloft for several years. This medication helped me regulate my emotions a lot in my high school career. I would suffer from extreme moments of anxiety and depression that made it impossible to cope and function. It was pretty difficult but that was the norm for me during that time. Looking back on it, it's frightening to see how bad my mental health was. For example, I wrote a couple letters to my future self and from the time of elementary school to high school I wrote about three of them. You can tell as time goes on I get more and more depressed by the contents of the letters. I was fully expecting to not be alive by my senior year according to my 9th grade letter to my 12th grade self. Now, I have plenty of resources now courtesy of my college to help with any mental health issues. I feel now as a 21-year-old I have a much better understanding of my feelings and what makes me overwhelmed or depressed. Now I'm much happier and more content with myself. I have a much better body image of myself. I feel like I personally have come a long way in my own little journey in life. I currently attend Georgia Southern University and I'm working on my bachelor's degree. My major is in mechanical engineering which is a pretty broad umbrella term for my particular degree. This involves CAD, manufacturing, and drafting to name a few. My younger brother is in a similar field of manufacturing engineering so I do have family up here. I would use the money to help pay off my college tuition and if that's all covered help pay off partial debt from my student loans. Having financial security like that, even for a year would take a huge weight off my shoulders to the point where I would probably cry in relief.

Like many Minecrafters I love to create. Minecraft is just one of those things that no matter how long you put it down or you don't play, it always comes back. In my eyes it's like the Selaginella lepidophylla aka the resurrection plant. It just needs so little bit of creativity to come back to life. I tend to go back to the aspect of building a base. There's so many new materials and different ways that you can put together to create something new. Now I wouldn't call myself an expert because I certainly can't do a giant fancy castle, but I do enjoy putting hidden things in the walls viva painting and doors. I do find myself drawn to mountain bases in particular. There's always something in the mountain but I just love the little hiddenness of it. You really can't tell how big the base actually is and that's probably one of my favorite parts about it. Sometimes, however, I poke a good portion of my base out . Like my latest base , which is almost entirely made of mangrove. I have trap doors for windows so if I need to shoot something I can open that window up and close it if needed. This becomes really handy for the higher part of my base, allowing me to essentially snipe mobs from a safe distance. I believe this resonates with me so deeply because I've been doing this since I was a child. Since Minecraft was first introduced. I can still remember my brother letting me play on his computer and building a dirt house. For some reason I was obsessed with chicken farms and would max out on the number and I was absolutely terrified of creepers. In my eyes I just needed to have a good base, a safe base. Nowadays it's more aesthetically pleasing, no longer bound by the childish fear of fictional creatures and more free to have creative liberty with my "home".

I would highly recommend everyone in the world to read "angel child, dragon child". It was one of my favorites growing up and it's about a young girl who moved to the US from Vietnam and misses her mother. Throughout the 35 pages of this quick children's book it shows her life as she adapts to the US and how she doesn't fit in. She immediately notices the difference between her clothes and their clothes, their noses versus her nose. She eventually makes friends with a boy who originally teased her for being different and eventually makes her own little place in the school. This book helped broaden my world view from just my local little town when I was a young child. I received this book as a donation because the library at my school was getting rid of it. I instantly fell in love with the artwork and the style in just the way it was written. It deals with the conflicting emotions of wanting to be an " angel child" but feeling like a " dragon child" . It also showed how deep her mother's love was to her children along with her husband to another country and wait until she had enough money to return to them. I didn't think about this sacrifice the mother had to take. To not see her children for a year takes tremendous courage for someone who loves them as much as she does. I would definitely recommend everyone to have a read of this cute little book!

Over the past year, I have grown in my ability to be more mindful and present in my everyday life. This growth was inspired by a series of events that occurred in my life, including a major move to a new city and the continuation of my education. These events forced me to take a step back and really think about what I wanted out of life and how I wanted to live it. College has also really helped me to develop my sense of identity. I have been able to explore different interests and passions to really help me figure out what I am truly about. I have also been able to develop my own unique style and sense of self through art mediums. I also have become more confident in myself and my abilities. I have learned to take risks and to step out of my comfort zone. I have learned to be more independent and to take responsibility for my own actions. I have also become more open-minded and willing to try new things. My experiences have also helped me to develop my sense of purpose. I have been able to explore many different career paths and to help me find out what I am truly passionate about. I have also been able to start developing my own unique set of skills and abilities so that I can make a difference in the world. I have changed in that I am now more aware of my thoughts and feelings, and I am better able to recognize when I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed. I have also become more mindful of my actions and how they affect others. I have become more patient and understanding, and I am better able to recognize when I need to take a step back and take a break. At the same time, some things have remained the same. I still have a strong sense of self and I still strive to be the best version of myself. I still have a strong sense of empathy and compassion for others, and I still strive to be a good friend and family member. Through this journey of self-discovery, I have learned that it is important to take time for yourself and to be mindful of your thoughts and feelings. I have also learned that it is important to be patient and understanding with yourself and with others. Finally, I have learned that it is important to be open to change and to embrace the unknown.

If I had $1,000 right now I would immediately use it for my education. If any of that money was left over I would simply leave it for either next semester or use it to pay for my apartment next fall. It would definitely help pay as I may have to take a loan out if I cannot raise over $3,000. I'm hopeful that FASFA will help but I went through a rough patch last semester so I lost my HOPE. I'm hoping to redeem myself this semester by going to tutors whenever I need some help. I realized that my last semester didn't go well because of my online classes so this semester I almost exclusively going to in person classes. However this comes with the cost of not only my time but my availability. I will most definitely have to get a job this time around to help pay for my apartment but the in-person classes limits how much I'm able to work. If my college was paid off and I still had the $1,000 that I couldn't use for an apartment I would help my family. We're pretty tight on money at the moment and I hate to see my parents struggle to feed all of us. I am trying to help by getting a job but it was only recently that I was approved to even get a background check.

I'm very passionate for both gardening and art as I believe the two often go hand-in-hand. Both are so versatile in their own ways. They're so many different types of plants some producing fruits or vegetables, or material like cotton or latex. Or many you're curious about the many art forms and techniques. My love for plants started since I was a small child. I would grow morning glories , moss roses, marigolds, cacti, and ect. Quite simply I loved growing mainly flowers but then something happened. After the death of some of my beloved animals and plants I believe it started the beginning of my mild to severe depression. I vividly remember when I first really started to get into art, It was around the same time I started getting interested in gardening. I was drawing my house symbol from Harry Potter as it was a snake and I love snakes. I remember carefully making the snake's head and delicately shadowing the figure with my color pencils. At the time I have no experience but still to this day I'm am immensely proud of that little drawing and still have the House Crest with my other old drawings. But like with my gardening hobby I developed mild to severe depression. During this unmedicated time in my life I started to lose my passions. I couldn't bring myself to go outside anymore to water my plants or start more seedlings for annuals. I wasn't satisfied with my drawings anymore and would throw them out. For my art it had to be perfect which wasn't realistic for me at that time. It was hard to be "perfect" with my pieces so stopped caring about it. I stopped caring for a majority of my hobbies which was a major red flag back then. Ever since 2020 I actually started to get treatment for my depression I've been trying to rediscover my old interests. It fascinating and honestly reliving to fall back into love with some of my old hobbies. It's like finding a piece of myself again or finding an old friend. Nowadays I'm learning about new plants and new art techniques. I also now have a much bigger collection of seeds, some brought, some harvested by my own plants, or some collected from the earth. I'm learning about so many different types of crafts including painting, sewing, coiling, and crochet. I just love these two hobbies so much I wouldn't be who I am today without them.

Generosity is so much more than just giving someone something they need to me. Sure it helps if you give money to someone in need, but I'm talking about on a deep and emotional level. Generosity to me is about the shared empathy between you and a person. The knowledge and care you put into a conversation. That level of human connection and communication is part of everyone. Sometimes generosity can be something as simple as listening to someone's story. It provides an ear for that person that I need, to get whatever that's on their chest out. I find that it helps in situations of distress to sometimes just to listen. Not everything needs to be physically or verbally given. Just the fact that you know someone is there for you in your corner can be the biggest generosity of them all.

1. I deserve the scholarship because I'm poor and in need of money desperately :D 2.Wouldn't you like to know weather boy? 3. Nosy aren't you? But if you must know...

My goals we're basically reduced to nothing when I was unmedicated. I suffer from mild to severe depression and I did not have the will to do anything with my life. When I was younger I wanted to be an astronaut or maybe a teacher but that changed. All my passion was basically drained out of my body. At the time I had a little garden going on but then I stopped maintaining it, I wouldn't leave my room, and I wouldn't talk to my family. I would say my goals did change because I had no goal at that time in my life. My relationship with friends and family were deeply affected by my mental health. They know how my depression can be and so they check up on me every now and then. In fact my mother worries about my eating habits because when I'm super depressed I can forget to eat. My understanding of the world has brought my attention to how people treat mental illness. For example mental illness is often used as a evil force in horror movies. These movies obviously do not portrayed certain mental illnesses right and often amplify them. I feel this creates a negative spotlight and demonizes certain mental illnesses.

As someone with mild to severe depression it can be extremely hard sometimes to clear your mind. Because of this I like to have multiple ways such as listening to my favorite song, read one of my favorite stories, or even doing something crafty like painting. In fact I have created my own resource packet in the form of a little index cards on a ringlet that is labeled "Dope-a-Menu". This was made for me to have a quick guide to help pick out a task in case of a depression scenario. I have different sections such as "personal care" ,"social", and even a section called "recharge time". This handy resource makes it quick and easy to find something that is suitable for whatever I desire at that moment. It is also color-coded for convenience and readability. If I'm feeling lonely I have a section to remind me that I have loved ones who I can message or "bother" aka mess with. Human interaction is important to me after experiencing my first semester of college with only my roommate who wasn't even close to me. During my second semester however I became a part of a big group of friends which made me realize that talking to people is actually very important to my mental health. On those days where I need to be away from friends and family I like to reference my "recharge time" card. A lot of the options on there are very low energy such as reading an old or new story, do some sort of puzzle, and repair some sort of garment. This allowed me to be calm let my social battery charge without being irritated from the people I love. If I'm feeling like I need to create something I have a two-part section dedicated just to arts and crafts. Some examples include painting, crochet, and doodling. I find that art is a great way for the mind to get lost in and let those repressed feelings out, thus creating a calm and leveled head. I also like to have a reminder section of some of the task and goals I would like to complete in life. One of my reminders was written a while back before I started college but it was to get a job. Now the section can include goals like that or maybe a goal to finish a book. The possibilities are endless but I would recommend using something disposable if you're doing short-term goals.

My name is Alexis Browning and I overcame my own form of adversity by getting treatment for my severe depression. It was very difficult to live my life happily before I got diagnosed because I thought what I was feeling was normal. That the hollow emptiness that was consuming me was normal. I most likely had severe depression for over 6 years. I was diagnosed in 2018 but before I get treated I was dealing with this for years. After I started to get treated for my depression it was difficult learning what I liked. I remember a time where I like gardening and interacting with my family but over the years I stopped doing those things. I feel like that might have been a sign that I was developing depression. When you have depression you just stop doing the things you love. It steals your likes and your interests and forces you to become something your not. When you take that away, what do you have left? I'll tell you, you have a blank slate. You can develop your interests and hobbies from a new start. It's difficult but it's doable. So I had to pick up the pieces and reform them to become what I am today. I recently graduated from Brantley county high School and my goal is to become a mechanical engineer so I can help my family. I am attending Georgia Southern University in the fall of 2021 so I can begin to make this goal of mine come true.

My name is Alexis Browning and I was diagnosed with moderate to severe depression in 2018. At the time I didn't really notice how my personality changed from a bubbly and energetic child into a very self-reclused and lethargic girl. But looking back at my progress and how I grew as a woman it was hard. It was hard looking back up yourself and saying " I was a depressed and a very lonely child". I made a journal to document the side effects and feelings right after I got diagnosed. Looking through my notes is honestly mind boggling because I no longer think like I did. It's sad to see a young girl who thinks they deserve nothing. That they didn't deserve love or care. Even if that child was you. Even if that child was a part of you, it's still sad to see. Because you no longer see that child as you. You see yourself in a much brighter light now, with college coming up. You don't see yourself as the child and you thought they would do nothing with their lives if they even made it past 18. I'm 19 now. I'm no longer the child who wrote to their future self as if I had only a year or two left of my life because I was that paranoid. I'm no longer the child who wrote to my family and those same letters describing my day-to-day life for a couple days so they have a little piece of me if I was no longer there. I am now the adult woman who values her own life. Values the people around her. I want to use my experience dealing with depression to help people. To be able to listen and truly understand where they're coming from. I feel if a person can relate to your issues you're more likely to seek help. It doesn't come off as "You're just sad get over it." but "I understand truly where you're coming from".

My goal in life is to raise enough money so my family can live comfortably. It might be ridiculous for 19-year-old to hold that much weight on her shoulders but I just want to be able to help support my family. I'm the second oldest in my family so I had to take care a lot of the big sister roles. But in order to do that I need to have a good paying job, and that's where my major comes in. I am majoring in mechanical engineering, with the hopes that eventually I can find a decent paying job and start pulling my family out of poverty. I think this will impact their lives because they wouldn't have to live check my check. I love tinkering with things but sometimes you lose motivation, and if it wasn't for them I wouldn't apply to college for it. I was diagnosed with moderate to severe depression and ADHD so my family has been through a lot with me. This is my way of returning the favor. I think in life you should pass good fortune, so when it comes back it's in a time of need, not in the time of want. If I help my family then I can help my community, which is a small town. Recently the junior board organization is a volunteer with shut down so perhaps I can start running that again and bringing awareness to issues within the community. Simultaneously maintaining a stable job that would provide me and my family enough to live a little.

I'm a 19-year-old woman who is majoring in mechanical engineering. My goAl is to eventually gain enough experience and money so I can help my family and my community out. My nana's house got hit by a tree after a hurricane had passed. So she lives in a small remodeled garage. I would love to come back to her house and build it up again. And that's the kind of energy I want to bring to my community. I want to revive what has been broken. I want to rebuild what has been destroyed. I want to help support people who have fallen. I want to help my community change for the better. When I was in high school I worked for this volunteering program called Junior board. Our job was to help bring awareness about STDs, teenage pregnancy, bullying, you name it. We spoke for the students because we had that insight of what the student body would think of whatever promotion we were trying to do. I worked as the junior board secretary, where I had to archive exactly what was being said and who first or second. My team even came after our meeting hours to talk to the mayor or to listen to a conference being held. I think it's very important to have and imput from the students, and have that output to the community. I want my community to be educated about the statistics of diseases, so that not only does it bring awareness, it may help in prevention.

Ever since I was a little girl I would always love tinkering with things, pulling another part and reassembling it, that sort of thing. In high school I wasn't sure the majority of the time what I should do but I settled down on mechanical engineering. It's something I feel passionate about, and the income isn't that bad either. My family was a major influence on my decision because money is tight. I wanted to help provide my family with enough support so it's not check to check every month. Growing up with less money than a lot of people is difficult. I can only speak for myself as I don't have it bad as a lot of people do. However it's sad when you don't have extra money for a specific thing that's like $2. I want to break out of that shell, I want to be able to live comfortably without worrying. My nana, Linda, is like a sub influence if you could say something like that. About 8 years ago her house got hit by a tree from a hurricane and every time I look at her house, I want to be the one that fixes it. To put it in perspective I almost decided to do construction as my major at Georgia Southern University so I could learn the skills to build the house up myself. I want to be able to provide not only for myself but for her and my mother, and my siblings. This is something I feel very deeply about and would push through every obstacle just so I can achieve this goal. I want to be able to provide not only for my family but to create my own family with my partner. Another factor is my partner wants to be a commission-based artist. Obviously it's not going to pay as well as an engineering job but it still pays. But in this case I would be the breadwinner of the family, so I have dictated it as my responsibility to provide an income. But in order to do that I need to go to school for 4 years and get certificates. A scholarship would help out tremendously, not only for me but my future with my family.

#dog #mentalbreakdown for the first #mood #bagels for the second

My "everything" is my partner. Raven has been in my life for over 3 years. She used to live in a emotionally abusive home that treated her worse than garbage. When we got to together I would paint animals she liked; dogs, cats, snakes, and birds. Her grandma watched her like a hawk, monitoring everything at home. She couldn't even speak to her mother with her being watched. Granny, as she was called, didn't know we were together. She was under the assumption that I was her best friend and that's why I made paintings for her granddaughter. Eventually she started getting nosey about out business, wanting to control when and how we interacted. She wanted to control her granddaughter so much that I was banished from ever returning. Why you might ask? I simply let her use my address to order some cute, tiny bottles. Her grandma thought I was a bad influence on Raven so I was prohibited from returning. Raven was also supposed to avoid at school but that didn't happen for obvious reasons. Before I was "banished" I gave one last painting over the summer. It was a picture of a cat with a subtle heart on it's cheek. I wanted to demonstrate how much I cared for Raven without her grandma interfering. I wanted to boldly announce to the world she was mine and I was hers but I couldn't so I compromised. I wouldn't write or paint "I love you" but I would say it whenever I could. This cat painting represents a time in both of our lives where we just wanted to express ourselves freely. In today's time, Raven lives with in my house. She moved in around January in a very quick manner. I basically had to wait until her grandma left her alone to come and get her with her stuff. We had feared her grandmother would had forced her to stay. But we are finally happy and free to express ourselves as loud as we can be.

Quote that has changed my life was said by my teacher. She said "if people are talking about you, It's none of your business." It might sound harsh at first but she explained that it's simply not worth your time. It was an eye opener because that's what teenagers been doing, spreading rumors talking about each other. In the end it really doesn't even matter. It changed how I looked at the world. Just focuding on what's good for me, not necessarily what people think of me. I'm living for me. If people want to talk about me or anyone else, fine. They can spend all their energy and all their resources talking while I'm preserving and using my energy that's actually worth something. It really did help with unnecessary drama in my life and it helped me overcome needless issues.

In 2019 I was diagnosed with moderate to severe depression.Before I first noticed I had depression, I would plant flowers and run around in the sun. I was energetic, playful, and a bright little girl. However as the years went by my depression got worse and worse until to the point where I started isolating myself from my family. I was too tired to run around anymore; I didn’t get any joy from gardening like I used to. I didn’t want to interact with anyone, anymore. I did the only thing I could do, read books. It became my coping mechanism, my escape from reality and where, if only for a moment, I could be happy. Fast Forward to my diagnosis, I remember that day at the doctor’s office quite vividly, as it had changed my life forever. I was having trouble focusing in my academic classes, I was essentially to the point of tears, desperately trying to find a solution to my issues. I now know that the reason was my depression and my previously undiagnosed ADHD. After a particularly bad math test I gave in. I finally asked for help. I explained to my parents what was going on and that I wanted to go to a doctor because I thought I had ADHD. I remember going up to the doctor’s office, timid and scared. I was given forms and the doctor tried to ask questions about my life. I remember crying because I wanted to say “I’m okay” and simultaneously tell her the truth. That I was struggling, that I wasn’t happy, and that I simply didn’t have the passion for anything anymore. The lump in my throat was unbearable and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t speak past the rock that was my depression.Then I was put on Zoloft, an antidepressant. I was slowly getting better. My thoughts weren't as fogged. My body wasn't as constantly anxious. I wanted to be social, wanted to talk to my family, and I wanted to take up my old hobbies again. I wanted to live my life again. I wanted to be somebody and it was scary. Depression as an adult is horrible, it eats at your soul. However having depression as a young child is devastating because once you start treating it there isn't much left of that child. Yes, they're still a person but you have to regrow your likes and your own interests again. This is a fact that I'm still struggling with to this day. Now it's 2021, I'm still on all my medicines, but I'm okay with that. I don't want to go back to the sinkhole that was my depression. Maybe one day I won't have to rely on medication to battle depression.

In 2019 I was diagnosed with moderate to severe depression.Before I first noticed I had depression, I would plant flowers and run around in the sun. I was energetic, playful, and a bright little girl. However as the years went by my depression got worse and worse until to the point where I started isolating myself from my family. I was too tired to run around anymore; I didn’t get any joy from gardening like I used to. I didn’t want to interact with anyone, anymore. I did the only thing I could do, read books. It became my coping mechanism, my escape from reality and where, if only for a moment, I could be happy. Fast Forward to my diagnosis, I remember that day at the doctor’s office quite vividly, as it had changed my life forever. I was having trouble focusing in my academic classes, I was essentially to the point of tears, desperately trying to find a solution to my issues. I now know that the reason was my depression and my previously undiagnosed ADHD. After a particularly bad math test I gave in. I finally asked for help. I explained to my parents what was going on and that I wanted to go to a doctor because I thought I had ADHD. I remember going up to the doctor’s office, timid and scared. I was given forms and the doctor tried to ask questions about my life. I remember crying because I wanted to say “I’m okay” and simultaneously tell her the truth. That I was struggling, that I wasn’t happy, and that I simply didn’t have the passion for anything anymore. The lump in my throat was unbearable and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t speak past the rock that was my depression.Then I was put on Zoloft, an antidepressant. I was slowly getting better. My thoughts weren't as fogged. My body wasn't as constantly anxious. I wanted to be social, wanted to talk to my family, and I wanted to take up my old hobbies again. I wanted to live my life again. Now it's 2021, I'm still on all my medicines, but I'm okay with that. I don't want to go back to the sinkhole that was my depression. Maybe one day I won't have to rely on medication to battle the demons in my mind.

This meme is actually of my dog. Her name is Tracey and she is about 5-6 years old. She's a big part of my life and I love her dearly. She's a little part from my nana. (My nana is fine, I just don't get to see her as often as I would like) I made this meme for my older brother because he loves memes and I like making them. This meme represenst just a little snippet of the my end of year stressors since I graduate soon. Tracey helps with that stress, funny expressions included. She's been with me through my hard moments and the good ones. Since she's getting older so likes to sleep a lot so I've gotten in the habit of taking pictures of her weird faces. Then I began to try to get funny faces from her while she was awake, this this meme was made.