I've never had very many big achievements. I mostly ran in the middle of things. I made the team but I was never MVP, I had good grades but I wasn't an honors student, I placed in competitions but not the top 3. When my senior year rolled around I was stuck in the mindset that my life wasn't the worst but not anything great. Eventually, through a series of events, that entire mindset was threatened. I had made the most beautiful thing I could ever imagine, forever to be known as my Legacy, and she had the cutest nose. Leading up to the days of her arrival I already knew that my daughter would be my greatest achievement. It was by no means an easy task though. Aside from dealing with my pregnancy, I was made into the high school black girl taboo, I almost didn't graduate, my mother passed away, and I was kicked out. My middle-of-the-road life as I saw it was officially in the gutters. My name had been dragged through the dirt from my church to my school to my family but I continued to fight. I was angry and I spent months crying, but I was still there. When things looked grim and it felt like the world was colored gray I didn't give up, as much as I wanted to. I didn't because I couldn't. My mother had taught me that and I now have the opportunity to teach my daughter that too. With no mother and a newborn daughter, it seemed impossible to keep going, impossible to work, go to school, and pay for daycare, groceries, clothes, and appointments. Some days it doesn't just seem so, but it is impossible to keep afloat. I crawl into bed and I don't get up until my greatest achievement, my little baby girl shows me just how resilient I am and how resilient she is as well. Every day she falls and trips and she can't seem to say things that anyone else understands, but it amazes me that she keeps trying to walk and talk still. Every time she falls, she gets right back up, and through thick and thin, I have too. I'm still here. Now I'm up and I want to fight for those that have been knocked down too. I want to help those suffering from mental illnesses because every day they're neglected and abused. From experience, I know that you can't help being in the gutter sometimes, maybe being in the middle of the road, but that doesn't mean we should stop aiming for the top. We've made it this far for a reason, we're all resilient. Through my studies, I want to help people fight what's in their heads that's stopping them from being their best selves. To fight and to keep fighting. Neuropsychology is my way of helping. I won't say I'll be the leader of neuropsychological studies, breaking down barriers that have been in place for centuries, but if I can help anyone break down any barriers, that is worth fighting for. We don't have to be big and bold to be happy. We're human. We work with what we've got and that's what I want to show my daughter. With a little help, I won't have to worry as much about putting shoes on my daughter's feet or if we can afford daycare for the week and I can focus on my studies. This scholarship will help me get a degree so that I can show my daughter that when things do get bad, you get pregnant in high school, you're down to your last three dollars, or you don't know if you can get out of bed anymore, we persevere and we get up and fight, and we can show other people how to do so too.

Needless to say, having a small person is the hardest thing anyone can probably ever do in their lives. Climbing mountains and winning the Olympics takes practice and determination but no matter how much you practice and prepare or how determined you are, having kids will smack you in the face literally and figuratively and everything you've learned flies out the window. When my daughter found her way into my home, I suspect with some kind of spaceship, I was blind sighted. I was sick because my pregnancy lowered my iron, I was devastated because my mother had just died, ashamed because my father kicked me out, and broken because on top of that I was the 17 year old black girl about to fail out of high school. I was a taboo, a bad one. My daughter kept me going though. My actions weren't her fault, she shouldn't be punished for them. So I fixed what I could and kept going but something can't be fixed. Aside from being tired from all the work I do now and disappointed that I can't seem to do more for my family, the hardest thing I face right now will be doing it all without my mom. My mom and I never really got along but I don't understand how I'm supposed to do all this with no one around to look up to. It breaks my heart everyday that I don't have my mom to look up to. I know at least I can do that for my daughter though, I can not only be there for her to look up to but I can be someone she can look up to. Everyday I get up before the sun does so I can get ready before my daughter wakes up, then I wake her up, feed her, change her, dress her, throw some bows in her hair, and then out the door we go. She spends her day at daycare while I head to class, then work, then more class, and round off the day with her at home. Once she's down for the night, my homework begins. It's such a big change because not too long ago I remember when people asked me what I do in my spare time I'd say something like read or watch tv but now I say I do go grocery shopping or send an inane amount of things in the mail. I don't manage well. I don't have friends or family to lean on because I don't have the time to hangout with them or relax. I'm always going. Luckily my job helps, it's just enough to pay for groceries every month and my low income normally provides grants for my tuition. What's leftover goes to daycare and gas. I think about dropping out daily. I've actually failed classes because I couldn't cope, but nothing scares me more than giving up. I want to show my daughter how to be strong and keep going so that one day she will too and that's how I named my daughter, Legacy. She's the only reason I get out of bed every morning and the only reason I won't ever stop. I'm passionate about my field, neuropsychology, but I'm also passionate about the bottom of most tubs of ice cream, she's the little push I need to really make a difference. I can't help but love the mornings I wake up with a scowl, and look to my left and my daughter, and she sees me, and we both smile. All that I'm doing for her does include pursuing my psychology degree, pre-med, because after that I want to get my doctorate's in neuropsychology. I've personally spent a few hospital visits with neuropsychologists and I've always liked what they've done. Mental health is an issue that's been ignored and those affected have been neglected and abused, they often times they live in a world totally different from ours, and I want to do my part to help. Cognitive processes fascinate everyone to some degree, but more so to me. Little things make big differences between everyone and that amazes me. I want to study that in a clinical environment so mental health gets the awareness it needs. With this scholarship I'll be able to pursue my goals, get my degree, and be a positive role model for my daughter.