This is a very difficult essay for me to prepare. Not because I struggle to relate to the topic but because I relate too much. Putting this in writing is a first for me and is going to bring a mixed bag of emotions to the surface that I often try to avoid. Anyone looking at me and my life would likely think I don’t have a valid reason to be depressed or anxious. The problem is that they would be correct. The bigger problem is this does not matter or change the fact that I have struggled since a very young age. Being depressed and anxious comes as a packaged deal for me. I can often feel one stronger than the other at times if I can feel at all, but I know both exist simultaneously. Depression has affected me for as long as I can remember. From my adolescence depression has lowered my self-esteem, and my confidence, and greatly damaged my ability to make healthy choices. The lack of clarity made long-term planning impossible. I Lived day to day without any regard for my future. Then my future came without warning. With this, came anxiety. The helpless feeling that I had not prepared in any way for life as an adult. Looking back at my past I had regret, which brought depression. Looking into the future I have anxiety about what will happen. My attempt to go to college and complete a degree was a constant battle. I failed classes out of a complete lack of motivation and inspiration. All I wanted to do throughout my late teens and early twenties was be at home on the couch with the windows closed while watching television. My lowest point came when I decided that my identity would be connected to making a lot of money. I started working over 100 hours per week. I thought that if I had money, it would help me not be stressed, anxious and depressed. I started abusing several different drugs. Some to help me work twelve to fourteen days and others to help me sleep. I became an emotionless hollow cavity. I slowly crashed over six months. With a daughter on the way and a wife who was concerned she had lost me completely my family started researching rehabilitation facilities. While at my lowest point, I had a brief moment of clarity. I saw how my actions had affected those I loved. I decided to search for real change. I found that consistency was the most important deterrent in life. I worked on consistently exercising, eating healthy, sleeping regularly, taking natural vitamins and supplements and forcing myself to be social no matter how painful and unwanted. Very slowly, over three years, my priorities have changed. I started seeing the importance of spending time with my wife and daughter. I started eliminating things that I knew would not benefit me. I started practicing positive self-talk to raise my self-esteem and confidence. Now, I genuinely can say I am living a life better than I had thought possible. I am ready to complete my degree for the right reasons. I want to show my children how to overcome not only difficult circumstances but difficult emotions. I want to do this by finishing my college education. Something, I gave up on before but am now confident I can accomplish.

This is a very difficult essay for me to prepare. Not because I struggle to relate to the topic but because I relate too much. Putting this in writing is a first for me and is going to bring a mixed bag of emotions to the surface that I often try to avoid. Anyone looking at me and my life would likely think I don’t have a valid reason to be depressed or anxious. The problem is that they would be correct. The bigger problem is this does not matter or change the fact that I have struggled since a very young age. Being depressed and anxious comes as a packaged deal for me. I can often feel one stronger than the other at times if I can feel at all, but I know both exist simultaneously. Depression has affected me for as long as I can remember. From my adolescence depression has lowered my self-esteem, and my confidence, and greatly damaged my ability to make healthy choices. The lack of clarity made long-term planning impossible. I Lived day to day without any regard for my future. Then my future came without warning. With this, came anxiety. The helpless feeling that I had not prepared in any way for life as an adult. Looking back at my past I had regret, which brought depression. Looking into the future I have anxiety about what will happen. My attempt to go to college and complete a degree was a constant battle. I failed classes out of a complete lack of motivation and inspiration. All I wanted to do throughout my late teens and early twenties was be at home on the couch with the windows closed while watching television. My lowest point came when I decided that my identity would be connected to making a lot of money. I started working over 100 hours per week. I thought that if I had money, it would help me not be stressed, anxious and depressed. I started abusing several different drugs. Some to help me work twelve to fourteen days and others to help me sleep. I became an emotionless hollow cavity. I slowly crashed over six months. With a daughter on the way and a wife who was concerned she had lost me completely my family started researching rehabilitation facilities. While at my lowest point, I had a brief moment of clarity. I saw how my actions had affected those I loved. I decided to search for real change. I found that consistency was the most important deterrent in life. I worked on consistently exercising, eating healthy, sleeping regularly, taking natural vitamins and supplements and forcing myself to be social no matter how painful and unwanted. Very slowly, over three years, my priorities have changed. I started seeing the importance of spending time with my wife and daughter. I started eliminating things that I knew would not benefit me. I started practicing positive self-talk to raise my self-esteem and confidence. Now, I genuinely can say I am living a life better than I had thought possible. I am ready to complete my degree for the right reasons. I want to show my children how to overcome not only difficult circumstances but difficult emotions. I want to do this by finishing my college education. Something, I gave up on before but am now confident I can accomplish.

This is a very difficult essay for me to prepare. Not because I struggle to relate to the topic but because I relate too much. Putting this in writing is a first for me and is going to bring a mixed bag of emotions to the surface that I often try to avoid. Anyone looking at me and my life would likely think I don’t have a valid reason to be depressed or anxious. The problem is that they would be correct. The bigger problem is this does not matter or change the fact that I have struggled since a very young age. Being depressed and anxious comes as a packaged deal for me. I can often feel one stronger than the other at times if I can feel at all, but I know both exist simultaneously. Depression has affected me for as long as I can remember. From my adolescence depression has lowered my self-esteem, and my confidence, and greatly damaged my ability to make healthy choices. The lack of clarity made long-term planning impossible. I Lived day to day without any regard for my future. Then my future came without warning. With this, came anxiety. The helpless feeling that I had not prepared in any way for life as an adult. Looking back at my past I had regret, which brought depression. Looking into the future I have anxiety about what will happen. My attempt to go to college and complete a degree was a constant battle. I failed classes out of a complete lack of motivation and inspiration. All I wanted to do throughout my late teens and early twenties was be at home on the couch with the windows closed while watching television. My lowest point came when I decided that my identity would be connected to making a lot of money. I started working over 100 hours per week. I thought that if I had money, it would help me not be stressed, anxious and depressed. I started abusing several different drugs. Some to help me work twelve to fourteen days and others to help me sleep. I became an emotionless hollow cavity. I slowly crashed over six months. With a daughter on the way and a wife who was concerned she had lost me completely my family started researching rehabilitation facilities. While at my lowest point, I had a brief moment of clarity. I saw how my actions had affected those I loved. I decided to search for real change. I found that consistency was the most important deterrent in life. I worked on consistently exercising, eating healthy, sleeping regularly, taking natural vitamins and supplements and forcing myself to be social no matter how painful and unwanted. Very slowly, over three years, my priorities have changed. I started seeing the importance of spending time with my wife and daughter. I started eliminating things that I knew would not benefit me. I started practicing positive self-talk to raise my self-esteem and confidence. Now, I genuinely can say I am living a life better than I had thought possible. I am ready to complete my degree for the right reasons. I want to show my children how to overcome not only difficult circumstances but difficult emotions. I want to do this by finishing my college education. Something, I gave up on before but am now confident I can accomplish.