In my 1st grade year, my mom made me play in our school’s Upward Bound basketball team. I was never interested in sports, but Mom decided to make me get out of my comfort zone and try something new. One of my most prominent flaws was that I could not take criticism without beating myself up or throwing in the towel. So, when I took on this new challenge, I was entirely unprepared to be told most of what I did was wrong. I'd get on the court, and several times the coach would tell me to pass the ball or try to make the shot. The worst moment was when, in a real game, I almost shot into the opposite hoop and scored against our team. I was my own enemy. I couldn’t get out of my head. I wanted to quit, but my mom wouldn't let me. I finished the season, but I never tried basketball again. It should have been clear to me that you can’t expect to be good at something immediately. I was also just a child, but this one event steered me away from trying sports again for a long time. Academics always came easier to me, so I focused most of my energy on that. It wasn’t until my Junior year of high school that I decided to get involved in sports again. This time, it was tennis. It seemed less intimidating than working with a team on a basketball court. Several players on the team were my friends and convinced me to join.
I tried to have a better mindset toward a new challenge. The first few practices I went to, the obvious happened. I was one of the worst players there, swinging the racket like I was trying to chop a tree down. However, it had been almost ten years since I had last tried to get good at something that took extra effort. Now I was older with more maturity. I took everything the coach said about my playing as a lesson learned. If he said my form was wrong, I changed my position. If he said I wasn’t moving my feet enough, I would try to stay light on my feet and move more. I was also persistent. I rarely missed practice, and sometimes would stay extra hours to try and work on my swings. Once I saw some visual progress, I knew I would stick with it until the end of the season. The practices eventually turned into actual competitions with other schools. For a while, I was just on the bench. I cheered on players who were on our team for much longer than me.
Finally, the day came and the coach put me in games he was confident I could play well in. I started scoring against some of the people they matched me against, and it felt amazing. I realized I should have been doing this for much longer and shouldn’t have been so scared to fail. It’s a lesson I’ve learned, and I’ve grown to accept my mistakes and find solutions, instead of calling it quits. Being afraid of failure is my biggest failure. My dad tells me, "It's better to try and fail than to not try at all. If you aren't failing sometimes, you probably aren't doing much." All of this has been a specific example of my internal struggle. Between 1st grade and my Junior year, I had to slowly grow out of the habit of not wanting to do things out of my comfort zone.