My childhood home is a small, two bedroom apartment that has housed four children and a single mother. Its lack of privacy made it difficult for adult conversations to be hidden. From an early age I’ve been aware of our financial hardships. This lack of discretion gave me an acute sense of independence. Overly conscious of our unpredictable future, I became determined to control what little things I could, and assist in every aspect possible. My worst fear was not being useful. As an older sister, this manifested early on through being a provider for my siblings. I can recall all the times I’ve walked them home from school, helped them with homework, and cooked their meals. Although my younger self found these tasks to be tedious at times, I knew my help would provide my mom much needed emotional relief. However, in doing so I neglected my own need for support. Through carrying the weight of being the mentor to my siblings, and sometimes even mother, I was unable to deal with failure because anything I was unable to do, I couldn’t help them with. I couldn’t afford the anxiety of not being of use when our finances already seemed to control much of our lives. Despite every moment spent at home caring and being with my siblings, I couldn’t feel any more lonely. I deprived myself of a social life and usual teenage activities in order to fulfil the needed role in my household. I had created so much structure in our household, one that my family grew so accustomed to, yet my personal life felt the exact opposite. I had no idea what my future would turn out to be because my present consisted of the care and lives of others. My dreams felt unattainable not just due to our financial situation, but I grew to feel selfish for imagining such possibilities for myself. My mother immigrated to the U.S when she was just 8 years old. As she grew up extremely aware of her disadvantages , she knew what future she envisioned for her children. She always told me how important it meant to go to college and get an education. However, I wasn’t entirely convinced it would relieve us of our struggles, and I assumed the cost alone prevented me from even attending one. I took her gestures of gratitude for my assistance as a silent plea to stick by her, feeling as if she needed me. It took me an absurd amount of time to realize I had gravely misinterpreted her intent, along with my true insecurities. While my mother appreciated my selfless actions, she also taught me that one cannot live their life without being a little bit selfish, the very thing I found the most terrifying. My misinterpretation of motherly advice was merely my way of masking my insecurity of failure. I did not feel like I had a place at a good college or a good job, and I didn’t want to test my luck in fear of my possible failure. Once I realized my skewed mindset, I became determined to change it. Now as a senior, I can confidently say I envision a future for myself. I now realize that my family's upbringing and hardships don’t define my capabilities, and instead act as encouragement. Had it not been for my mothers sacrifices in traversing an unknown country, I would not have had half the opportunities I have now. I’ve now learned to be a bit selfish and live the life my mother always encouraged me to.

My dream of becoming a veterinarian has been persistent since I was a child, a product of my early exposure to pets. I've grown accustomed to a household filled with cats, guinea pigs, birds, and the care needed for each of them. I have vivid memories of fostering kittens needing special medical care, and when my own childhood cat needed surgery for a benign mass, I was exposed to the inner workings of animal medicinal care. Leading up to my cat's surgery, I attended all the appointments required to understand the procedure, giving me my first experience of proper clinical care. I found myself translating and explaining the meaning of the procedure and his condition to my family, and it felt instinctual for me to want to understand each necessary step of the operation. Not just from a place of concern, but immense curiosity about the procedure. These frequent visits to clinics solidified a dream for a career in animal medical care, and I expanded on my knowledge by engaging in courses that would fulfill my curiosity. My junior year I took Marine Biology as I was considering specializing in aquatic care, and this year I am taking Honors Anatomy and Physiology along with a dual enrollment Kinesiology course through Cal State East Bay. While my school doesn’t offer animal specific courses aside from Marine Bio, I focused on depending my understanding of biology on the human level due to the overlap in topics. I was even given the chance to dissect various animals, such as a cat in my Anatomy course. I've expanded on my passion through hands-on work with animal shelters, helping care for and rehabilitate animals who had been abandoned, abused, or life long strays. Despite the hour-long commute, nothing beat the hands on work and joy each animal brought me. Each one I helped gave me new insight into a future my younger self always envisioned. I knew I had to pursue this dream not just for my medical fascination, but the empathy and patience it required. Now as I plan to pursue my major of Animal Science at California Polytechnic State University at San Luis Obispo, my dreams feel closer than ever, yet I can’t ignore the financial circumstance my family and I are in. At the beginning of the school year my family was hit with the sudden unemployment of my mom, our household's sole provider. Due to this sudden change I have had to pick up a part time job to cover my personal school expenses such as AP testing, college applications, graduation gown and photos ,while also providing as much support as I can to my mom in paying bills. While we were already low income prior to her job loss, earning around 38,000 a year, this had made us even more vulnerable, adding immense pressure and stress to us. Despite these financial struggles, my desire in pursuing higher education remains strong and it’s for this reason that I am taking the time to share and relive such personal experiences. It's more than a want for financial support, it's a need. I need as much assistance that I can acquire, and with every penny I get I will not just be grateful or appreciative. I will make an impact. I especially understand the impact support can have on a person, which is why I now feel comfortable asking for it. I now have a future for myself, one I desire to be in control of. Any financial support will help guarantee not just control, but success.