Sitting with my head between the knees in the first-grade hallway with tiny tears forming in my eyes while asking myself "Why do I feel invisible?" is something I will never forget. I did not know it then, but after going to therapy I realized that was my first ever anxiety attack. Growing up, I was always very aware of the voice in my head. Sometimes it would just sing catchy songs, but others would say the most hurtful, irrational things. Once I got to middle school, it got a lot worse. I worry daily about the smallest things in and outside of school. Assignments got overwhelming, I was tip-toeing words around my family and friends, and had completely lost my sense of identity. The voice in my head got louder and louder until it was all I could hear. I thought everyone in the school was in on some joke and left me out. My performance in orchestra diminished because my mind was somewhere else instead of focusing on the music sheets. I stopped drawing because it felt like my talent had simply vanished. Once things got overwhelming, my body would shut down and it felt like someone put me in a cold box with loudspeakers that prevented any breathing or thinking. There was a time in my life when it felt like I was in that cold box for weeks on end, and I am not proud of what happened on certain days of seemingly no escape. After graduating high school, I experienced a lot of amazing and detrimental things regarding my mental health. While my anxiety persists, I have accepted it as a part of me and have found many alleviations for those bad days. Therapy has allowed me to harness those anxious thoughts and use them as fuel to get things done. I currently use that tactic at work and with schoolwork, urging me to turn in my best work with great quality and within the deadlines. The cold box now has a door and I hold the key in my heart, knowing there is always a way out. Some years ago I thought I would never make it past a certain age, an age I have now surpassed. Getting a college degree is one of many personal goals that once seemed so impossible and is now within reach. Taking college-level psychology classes has taught me many things about the intricacies of the human mind, sparking a deep interest in the field itself. Having the opportunity to continue my studies at this level holds a deep importance as it shows I am not my anxiety and it does not hold power over my future. Being able to pursue a further education and graduate college one day is not a dream, but a confirmed milestone I am going to reach.

The experience of a concert seemed like something out of a fictional movie. The massive crowds from all backgrounds come together with one joint passion, music. I thought I would never get to participate in one due to financial concerns or my anxiety disorder, until my nineteenth birthday. While being very different in every way imaginable, what my mother and I share is our love for the Colombian artist Andres Cepeda. We grew up in Colombia and Venezuela, so she would play his music while cleaning or cooking, doing her makeup, or while driving and singing very badly. I loved his music because it was something she loved. As I got older, the lyrics went from blending in with the music to standing out like never before. I realized Cepeda had an incomparable poetic talent. He sang about family, love, heartbreak, sex, soulmates, hatred, and passion. I started connecting more with his music as I experienced life more. I could hear every guitar chord and tab, the strength of the trumpets, the flow of the pianos, the beat of the drums, and every note of his beautiful voice. Andres Cepeda became my lifeline. Then on my birthday, my mom surprised us with tickets to his concert, which I was not aware was even happening. Tears instantly ran down my face and I hugged my mom with so much gratitude and love for the amazing gift. The day of the concert came a few months after and it was an unexplainable experience. Seeing the man face to face that had such an impact on my human development was nothing short of insane. Feeling the music so close and hearing the roughness in his live, real voice felt like touching the gates of Heaven. We sang his songs together, two women among a huge crowd, yet it felt like the world turned off for the night. All the worries, bad memories, and anxieties melted away as he strummed the first chord of "Embrujo", my favorite song of his. He wrote that song about his parents, who would often argue around the house and then resolve like it was nothing. I ended up learning all the chords and tabs by ear for that song because of how much I connected to it and imagined myself up there playing with him as he sang. My mom and I sang, cried, and danced until our makeup was gone and our heels were bruised. That night I had the best sleep of my life.

You can't vote. You can't leave. You do not have a voice. As an immigrant growing up in the United States, these were the words thrown in my face. They wanted to tear us down and make us feel insignificant as if we were not part of this country. Being a proud Venezuelan woman, these voices became foolish whispers as the realization of the power we immigrants hold. I plan to use my knowledge of political corruption and intelligence as a Hispanic woman to further my education in America to pursue a degree in political science. April 14th, 2013. Nicolas Maduro was elected President of Venezuela, altering the course of millions of lives. At nine years old, I recall marching down the parking lots in Caracas chanting the motto of Maduro's opponent Henrique Capriles. The childish innocence of this action shows how widespread the impact of this election was, making its way to our games. Capriles' loss led our family to flee to America, unplanned and scared. After staying with some family friends we settled in an apartment in Orlando; Then it was my first day of school. I was doltishly thinking it was going an experience akin to High School Musical, but it was not. The other kids, whether uneducated or ill-humored, called me Mexican, asked if I swam here, asked if I was malnourished, or stupid for not speaking English. It was isolating to be the only Venezuelan in this new environment where everyone seemed to have the same upbringing I did not have until one girl approached me with unparalleled kindness. She came from Argentinian parents although being born here herself. She spoke to me with broken Spanish, knowing it would be our only way of communicating. Her friendship inspired, along with the bullying, inspired me to learn English in three short months. I started winning academic awards, reading countless books, and participating in the science fair, all of which staggered my peers. The girl who once fell eternally behind was now soaring above the rest. The pride on my mother's face when I was bestowed with the Presidential Academic Award displayed abundant love and relief. She had made the right decision in coming to this country. This continued throughout the years, taking AP and honor classes in high school while enriching my passion for literature with reading and writing. A 3.2 GPA was maintained while working since sixteen, leading to my first promotion before turning eighteen. Although the smears on my heritage never stopped even to this day, they transformed into a powerful determination to use my mind as the tool to mark my place, not just in this country, but in this world. Now at nineteen years old, I have had the privilege of learning about the state of my country from a safe place. For over a decade, Venezuela has been hit with massive inflation that left millions starving and homeless. There have been massive displays of political and economic corruption, especially with the current election that gained Maduro another presidential term. Within the weeks following the election, there were signs of voter fraud which angered the people. There have been over 20 dead and thousands hurt and arrested in the protests against the government. These events in addition to the 2024 American elections have sparked an interest in the workings in the political world. I believe with my passion for learning and power to connect with people of many cultures, there is a future where the name Alexa Sanchez Rodriguez will be seen working with Foreign Affairs.