When I was 3, my mom moved me and my half-sister away from my dad to live in Virginia. One night, the house was raided as a drug house. My mom was arrested, and we were placed in foster care. We remained in foster care while my dad went through the process of getting custody. In the first foster home, my older sister was abused. We were moved to another foster home and remained there until finally, my dad got full custody. My relationship with my biological mother has been tumultuous over the years. I wanted to have a relationship with her but did not get to see her very much. I started playing sports when I was 7 but she has only come to see a couple of times over the years. One day, I asked her to come hear me sing at church. I remember telling my stepmom “She’s not coming. She said she is coming but she lies to me all the time”. I was not a priority for my mother. My stepmom and dad have always been there to watch me, encourage me, and cheer me on. Even though my stepmom and dad are wonderful, I still wanted my mom to be a part of my life. When I was 11, my mom’s behavior became erratic. We soon discovered that she was using drugs. She was not allowed to see me or my sister unless she agreed to attend rehab. At first, she refused. For months, she chose the drugs over me. I remember wondering why I wasn’t enough for her. She finally agreed to go to rehab and tried to rebuild her life. I was finally able to begin to build a relationship with my mom. However, when I was 15, I started to notice that my mom was beginning to act erratic again. One night, my sister called and said she caught our mom with drugs again. I was devastated. I couldn’t understand why she would choose that life over us. I have learned the hard way that my biological mom is incapable of being a real mom. My mom seemed to get her life back on track again, but, when I was 16, it started again. My mom had planned a dinner party for my birthday. I picked her up so I could show her my new car. When I saw her sitting on her porch, I knew she was high. During dinner, it became obvious how bad it was. I now knew that the drugs were always going to come before me. I am hardly able to visit her because it is not a safe situation for me to be in. My struggles with my mom have had repercussions in my life. I find it hard to trust people and often assume the worst in situations. I have struggled with anxiety growing up. In 2020, I talked to my stepmom about how I was feeling. She helped me to get counseling so I could find ways to deal with my feelings. As I have gotten older, I am trying not to let the actions of others dictate my life. I am finding the strength in myself to conquer battles instead of relying on others to validate me. I have gone through disappointments, sadness, and hurt growing up but do not plan to let this hold me back from accomplishing my goals. Going through this motivates me to stay on track. I understand how quickly drugs and alcohol can ruin your life and I never want to go down that road.

When I was 3, I was living with my mother in Virginia. One night, the house where we live was raided by police as a drug house. My mom was arrested. My dad was 7 hours away in NC so I went into foster care. I remained in foster care while my dad went through the process of getting custody. Finally, in October, the court awarded my dad full custody, and I was able to go home to NC. My dad and stepmom have raised me since. When I was 11, my biological mom began to miss scheduled times to pick me up or would show up late. Her behavior became erratic. We soon discovered that she was using drugs. She was not allowed to see me or my sister unless she agreed to be admitted to rehab. At first, she refused. For months, she chose the drugs over me. I remember feeling so sad and wondering why I wasn’t enough for her. She finally agreed to go to rehab. She did much better and was trying to rebuild her life. I was finally able to begin to build a relationship with my mom. However, when I was 15, I started to notice that my mom was beginning to exhibit behaviors similar to when she was on drugs. Then one night, my sister called and told me that she caught our mom with drugs again. I was devastated. All the hurt, disappointment, and sadness came flooding back. I couldn’t understand why she would choose that life over us. I am so blessed that my stepmom and dad have been the parents that I have needed throughout my life. I have learned the hard way that my biological mom is not capable of being a real mom. The struggles I have had with my mom have had repercussions on my life. Sometimes I find it hard to trust people and often assume the worst in situations. As I have gotten older and matured, I am trying not to let the actions of others dictate my life. I am working to find the strength in myself to conquer any battle instead of relying on others to validate me. I have gone through lots of disappointments and hurt growing up but do not plan to let this hold me back from accomplishing my goals in life. As I look at the struggles my mom has gone through, it motivates to stay on track. I understand how quickly drugs and alcohol can ruin your life and I never want to go down that road. I have also struggled with some anxiety growing up. In 2020, I talked to my stepmom about how I was feeling. She helped me to get counseling so I could find ways to deal with how I was feeling. I am doing great now. I feel strong and confident. Everything I have gone through has helped to shape me into the woman that I am today. After, graduation, I plan to play volleyball in college while obtaining my degree. I hope to major in forensics or nursing. I am still undecided but will stay focused on obtaining a 4-year degree.