If you've seen the show Shameless, you understand that it was utter chaos. This show perfectly explains my childhood and present day. My dad was a dead beet druggy and alcoholic. He was never around. I did have my mom however, but not for long. My aunt became my Fiona. My older brother became Lip essentially, and then there's me, Mandy. I feel like I'm her because we were both sexually abused. I grew up on the Geto side on my town, cops were there every night and so on. From a young age I was introduced to the dark parts of the world. My mom was physically abused, and I watched almost every single fight. I would just scream. Then after that mess I was sexually abused by my stepdad. After I spoke out about it my life turned, and I felt like it crumbled. The court ordered me to attend therapy and in my first evaluation I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety just at the age of eleven. After many sessions I felt like I was getting nowhere. It even got worse, the idea of killing myself came to mind every single day. I now have multiple failed attempts plus scars all over my body. I'm now to scared to take my pills. That was past me, current me is strong, clean, independent, godly, and has slowly relearned to love. I got close to God. I still have lots of work with my relationship, but I lean on him. If I can't control something, I say, "oh well" and move on because I know he has it handled. My boyfriend who I truly believe was sent to me by God has taught me to love myself and everyone around me. he is so caring and understanding about my situations. He helps me so much. I have my time where I struggle to even be hugged, and he has helped get past those feeling. He reassures me and tells me everything is okay to be okay and it's going to work out in the end. I guess the one thing therapy taught me was how to cope and running became a coping mechanism. This led to other fitness related things and now I am on track to become a physical therapy assistant. I believe movement is essential for our mental health. It heals us from the inside out. I want to be able to give back this gift god gave us and save people. without movement I wouldn't be alive, and I see this at the nursing home I did my hours at. They always had a big smile at therapy but when they got back, they just looked so sad. I want to give them their smile back forever.

In this particular case I didn't have this teacher, but my boyfriend did. He is known as Mr. O, the woodshop teacher. I started dating my current boyfriend during the start of my junior years, his senior year. He has had Mr. O since his freshman year I believe. Of course, he introduced me to him because he was someone he trusted. He enjoyed that class. he even worked with him at his house and other job sites. I was soon invited over for dinner and it was so welcoming. His wife was the sweetest and over time I opened up to him and her. I told them my struggles of foster care, sexual abuse, and where I was living. I told them I feel like I have nowhere else to go and that I don't feel welcomed in my own home. After a few days my boyfriend comes back to me saying If anything happened to reach out to them because they have both agreed that they would take you in. Him and his wife both said they would adopt me. This was the first time I was ever close to a teacher that had such godly intentions. He always preached about no drugs and alcohol, how to make relationships work and everything under the sun. I spoke to him privately how I wanted to grow closer to God. His response was I'll take you. So, for the whole school year, his household would pick me up every morning for a 9 am service. Now not only at this point did he give me a sense of safety but was no giving me an opportunity to grow with God. He taught me how to be a caring person. When I was struggling with a friendship, he would tell me to look from their prospective, when I was having a hard time with my boyfriend, he would explain that everything will be okay. He showed me to always look at something from a different angle when I was struggling. He would always use an analogy with woodworking. Mr. O deserves the world. He helped me so much my junior year from offering a place to stay, to finding God. He also helped my family during a hard finical time by buying our boat off of us. He was truly a god send, and I needed him and his family. I don't speak to his as much anymore but when I do, I always make sure to say hi. Him and his wife were an inspiration to me, and I can't thank them enough.

My name is Alex, I am a senior at Lemoore High. I work at a trampoline park, which basically means I work with kids. My team's goal is to make the environment safe and welcoming for these kids because sometimes this is the only area they can let loose and forget about what's happening at home or school. We strive to make it the best two hours of their day. My goal is to be a physical therapist or a physical therapist assistant. To be a physical therapist i have to have my doctor, which would require me to go to a 4-year institution and do 8+ years of schooling. To be an assistant is just going into a program at a community college. If I get accepted into the 4-year program in my town, I think I would bite the bullet and go there, but that's a lot of money, and I'm not sure my FASFA will cover my tuition. This is why I am applying to this and many other scholarships. I also have it all planned out with a counselor at my community college to get my associate's degree in “kinesiology” and then transfer to another community college with the PTA program. The difference between PTA and PT is very small, but the educational difference is huge, which seems a little obscure to me, but I truly believe it is worth it. I am big on sports and just moving the body. I have had coaches tell me I would be an amazing workout instructor and should become a licensed one, however, I wanted to help people heal differently. During my practicum hours at my local nursing home, I was put into the physical therapy department. Just in those couple of hours, I realized this is where I wanted to be. I want to help the people who have lost their mobility and even the power to walk. To me, just being able to use my legs and arms is a blessing. I thank God every day I wake up that I can still do the sports I love, such as running. I work out almost every day, and it's such a release for me mentally. I noticed this in the patient's moods. When I would be in the home, they were sad, and I had a resident tell me he felt stuck, but when they are in PT, they have a huge smile on their face. I want to be the reason they smile. I want to give them hope and the possibility to just move again after their incidents. This is my goal. And I will make it reality.

My name is Alex, I am 18, working at a trampoline park. I have participated in many activities at my school, such as FFA, Cheer, Cross Country, Track, Swim, and Water Polo. I did all of this to keep myself busy. I struggle mentally because of my surroundings and just internal warfare. My goal is to be a physical therapist or a physical therapist assistant. To be a physical therapist I have to have my doctor, which would require me to go to a 4-year institution and do 8+ years of schooling. To be an assistant is just going into a program at a community college. If I get accepted into the 4-year program in my town, I think I would bite the bullet and go there, but that's a lot of money, and I'm not sure my FASFA will cover my tuition. This is why I am applying to this and many other scholarships. I also have it all planned out with a counselor at my community college to get my associate's degree in “kinesiology” and then transfer to another community college with the PTA program. The difference between PTA and PT is very small, but the educational difference is huge, which seems a little obscure to me, but I truly believe it is worth it. I am big on sports and just moving the body. I have had coaches tell me I would be an amazing workout instructor and should become a licensed one, however, I wanted to help people heal differently. During my practicum hours at my local nursing home, I was put into the physical therapy department. In those couple of hours, I realized this was where I wanted to be. I want to help the people who have lost their mobility and even the power to walk. To me, just being able to use my legs and arms is a blessing. I thank God every day I wake up that I can still do the sports I love, such as running. I work out almost every day, and it's a mental release for me. I noticed this in the patient's moods. When I would be in the home, they were sad, and I had a resident tell me he felt stuck, but when they are in PT, they have a huge smile on their face. I want to be the reason they smile. I want to give them hope and the possibility to just move again after their incidents. This is my goal. And I will make it reality.

Starting out I was never much of a reader. The only reason why I read books was because I didn't have any electronics so my mom would buy us them. Or to complete my AR reading log. Plus, the only thing I got close to a tablet was a Nook reader. Until I needed something to take me out of my own reality. In the 6th grade my life turned for the worse. I ended up in foster care, dealt with CPS, and spent my time in multiple court rooms. I didn't have a release and fell into self-harm. I also lost many friends during this time, so I found myself in my 5th grade teachers' room during my breaks. I consoled in him; he offered me this book called Ghost Spirit bear by Ben Mikaelsen. I didn't realize at the time, but this is his second book of the duology for anti-bullying. Never in my life had I read a book so fast. The writing in this book was like crack. I felt so drawn to this character; his name was Cole. Our situations were totally different but at the same time I could feel all his emotions just through the words written on the fine cream pages. I fell in love with this character if I'm being honest. Cole dealt with anger issues, unresolved family problems, no outlets, and absolutely no one to talk to. He was the "problematic preteen / teenager." he was given multiple chances to get his act together and was sent to an isolated island. I didn't know the circumstances as to why he was sent to this island, but it didn't matter to me. Reading how he dealt with internal struggles and coping strategies became such a big realization to me. I didn't know how to truly cope with my own problems. All I knew was to cry. Cole used art as a release, I started drawing dragons and other animals. Cole would hike, I got into running and sports. Cole did cold plunges; I would soak in my bath a read. Bens's writing helped me take control of my life again. It showed me it was possible to start new and that our past doesn't define or have power over us. I also learned everyone can restart with the right mindset. After finished it, I bought the first book to the series. Touching Spirit Bear. This is where I learned he almost killed somebody, a classmate. After this he was banished to an island and was told to survive and change for the better, and maybe if he finds solidarity he could go back home. But in the end, he didn't care, he was angry, even burned his shelter down. Then this bear appeared. It was clam and this bothered Cole. He would go and provoke it. As time went on this led to him getting mulled by this spirit and left for dead, this is where the second book picks up on. He was taken home and after he recovered, he was placed back on the island because they deemed him unfit. This time he had company, but also a different mindset. He wanted to get better and so he did. The kid he almsot killed saw this change in him and befriended him. In the end he helped so many people, even saved lives. Cole didn't just save lives however, Ben did. He saved mine. This book has influenced me to write my own story, and one day I will in hopes to do the same for other kids.

I'm not sure if my parents' divorce was a good thing or a bad thing. It was good for my mother however, her divorce and new marriage were a bad thing to me. It's a grey area and it's hard to figure it out. My mother was abused by my father. He was an alcoholic and a user. He also dealt with bad anger issues. I can't blame him because he didn't know any better; his father and mother were the same. And, in all honesty, that whole side turned out like my father just in different ways. My father was in the trade field while my mother worked at a shelter home for the abused, which is ironic. I don't remember when the abuse started, there's no clear date or year. I just remember it being a common thing in our household, like I was raised with it. I was too young to know. Almost every night, without a doubt, I was hearing banging and screaming. My older brother and I would jump out of bed to go look at the damage. We could see what was happening and yet all our little selves could do was cry and yell. We yelled our lungs out, screaming "STOP". I don't know why we never called the police; we had a home phone, but I guess we just didn't know what to do. Even after our fits, it didn't stop him, nothing could. Either my mom ran or he just got so exhausted he stopped, I guess. After years of abuse, my mom finally left after he pulled a gun on her. I was in second grade. She had gotten a new truck, picked me and my brother up, and said we were moving to our grandmothers, we left our stuff at the old house. A few years later, my mom met my stepdad. She was in love, and they quickly married. This is where my life took a turn. For five years of their marriage, I was being sexually assaulted by him. For five years, he came into my room at night and did the unimaginable. However, I never spoke up. My mom was finally happy, I couldn't ruin that for her. Long story short, I spoke out, my mom hated me, I lived with my aunt, dealt with CPS, foster care, and many hearings. And in the end, he won, and I still live with my abuser. My childhood was never rainbows and ice cream, but after their divorce, my childhood became literal hell on earth. I wanted to kill myself many times, but I've stuck it through to see what good may come out of it and I'm glad I did. I have an amazing boyfriend, I have the cutest baby brother, I have a Roxy, I am about to get my CNA license, I work with kids, and I'm doing good in school. I have goals that I need to accomplish so I stay alive for all that I have. Their divorce had an interesting impact on my childhood, and I do wish I could go back and change things, but I wouldn't be where I am today without all the hardship.

I hope to get a job at a nursing home. I plan to graduate from college with an associate's degree in PTA and test to become a physical therapist assistant. I plan to accomplish this by attending Lemoore College and getting an associate's degree in liberal arts, math, and science, which translates to kinesiology. After I finish this associate's I will apply for the PTA Program at College of Sequoias. Going up, I wasn't able to participate in sports due to my blood disorder. I was always too fatigued, sick, and in and out of hospitals constantly. After my surgery and getting back on my feet, I have tried almost all sports. I am big on moving the body, it's like therapy to me. I have had many coaches tell me I would be an amazing workout instructor and should become a licensed one; however, I wanted to help people heal differently. I don't believe I would have fun just being an instructor because I want to be in the medical field, but I still want to be active and help others be active too. I believe being active is such an important factor in our health and life as a whole. During my practicum hours at my local nursing home, I was put into the physical therapy department. Just in those couple of hours, I realized this is where I wanted to be. I want to help the people who have lost their mobility and even the power to walk. To me, just being able to use my legs and arms is a blessing. I thank God every day I wake up that I can still do the sports I love, such as running. I work out almost every day, and it's such a release for me mentally. I noticed this in the patient's moods. When I would be in the home, they were sad, and I had a resident tell me he felt stuck, but when they are in PT, they have a huge smile on their face. I want to be the reason they smile. I want to give them hope and the possibility to just move again after their incidents. This is my goal. And I will make it reality. As a kid, money wasn't taught to me and my brother. We never had an allowance, half the time we never had money on our lunch card, and school shopping was at Walmart or Goodwill. My brother and I saw this as normal. But looking back now and seeing the financial struggle that my family is in currently, I understand how these small things weren't normal. We lived in a ghetto, broken-down neighborhood for years. My bedroom was in the dining room, my brother had an actual room, my grandma lived in the living room, and so on. I was in foster care for years, and we struggled to make do. With my situation right now and stressing over college, I am learning the hard way that I need to save money and be mindful of what I'm buying. My new job is a godsend, but it doesn't pay much as of right now. And at some point, my whole paycheck will go towards my car insurance and gas. I'm worried about how I will support myself food-wise while I'm attending college. As of right now, I am saving up for a car to transport me to college as well as saving up for the PTA program. It cost around 7,000 in total. I have taken a good amount of classes dual dual-enrolled with Lemoore College to get as many credits done for free. I should take more over the summer, but I see it more beneficial if I work more and focus on myself than burn myself out just for a few credits. Not only am I learning budgeting skills, but also time management skills, and spreading it out to what's more important to me and for my future. That is why I am applying for these scholarships. These applications are holding me accountable, and if I do receive money from some, then I need to be careful and stick to my college plan because I can't take more courses than planned. I won't have enough money for that. I am also applying to scholarships because I will rely on these first and not FASFA. After all, again I am learning about budgeting, and I would rather save most of my FASFA for the PTA program, as it does cost a pretty penny. To make my career aspirations a reality, however, I need financial assistance. My mother can't pay for my schooling, and I can't either. Moreover, I currently have a job, but it's not enough for schooling, and to pursue my goals, I need as many scholarships as I can get. If I got this scholarship, I would be so blessed. It is just my mom, my brother, and me. We are tight on money, so I need all the help I can get to pay for my schooling. My whole household relies on her check, and half the time we don't know if we'll be able to pay for food. It's been a real struggle. We've had to cut out our fun drinks, family activities, birthday presents, and lunch food for us kids. We have switched so many things around just to live. I'm trying to start early and get a job as a CNA, and go to a community college and major in PTA essentially. If I can pay for most of my 2+ years with help instead of going into debt, I could succeed in my future in general. My mom can’t help me, however, this scholarship could. I hope to be considered as a candidate as the scholarship will lead me further into my studies to become a PTA. Not only do I want this scholarship, but I need this to move forward. I believe I have the qualifications for it and have shown dedication and overall responsibility for what's to come. Thank you for looking me over, and I hope you recognize the help that I need to further my career. Thank you and have a blessed life.

Yes, I was in the foster care system, and I have a lot of negative things to say about my time being a part of it. More or less about the regulations and the people, my home was safe. I was placed with my aunt, which I am very lucky for. The workers were rude, talked down to me and on to me, never listened to what I had to say, and didn't truly know what was best for me. They tried taking me out of my aunt's care and giving me to my father. He was an alocholoic druggy who has spent his time in and out of jail. The worker dared to tell my aunt that he was a better fit and the kids needed to be with a parent when they took me out of my mom's care for no reason. My aunt went to a lawyer because my dad broke the rules, and I had a tracker on my phone, so she used it as evidence. The worker would also come to me during school hours and use my cousin as a tool to get me to move with my dad. I remember her vividly saying, "If you still want to see your cousin, then you need to listen to me, I know what's best." After that, I told her and my dad I didn't want to see them anymore. I stopped speaking to the worker. I want to be a physical therapist or a physical therapist assistant. To be a physical therapist, I have to have my doctorate, which would require me to go to a 4-year institution and do 8+ years of schooling. To be an assistant is just going into a program at a community college. I have it all planned out with a counselor at my community college to get my associate's degree in “kinesiology” and then transfer to another community college with the PTA program. The difference between PTA and PT is very small, but the educational difference is huge, which seems a little obscure to me, but I truly believe it is worth it. I am big on sports and just moving the body. I have had coaches tell me I would be an amazing workout instructor and should become a licensed one, however, I wanted to help people heal differently. During my practicum hours at my local nursing home, I was put into the physical therapy department. Just in those couple of hours, I realized this is where I wanted to be. I want to help the people who have lost their mobility and even the power to walk. To me, just being able to use my legs and arms is a blessing. I thank God every day I wake up that I can still do the sports I love, such as running. I work out almost every day, and it's such a release for me mentally. I noticed this in the patient's moods. When I would be in the home, they were sad, and I had a resident tell me he felt stuck, but when they are in PT, they have a huge smile on their face. I want to be the reason they smile. I want to give them hope and the possibility to just move again after their incidents.

Hi, my name is Alex Hicks. I am 18 years old and have gone through watching physical abuse to being sexually assaulted. However, I never touched alcohol or "drugs" but I grew up around addicts. This led me to self-harm, multiple failed attempts, and terrible therapy sessions by myself and with my mother. I dealt with in my opinion, the horrible child protective services, lawyers to keep my mouth shut, and just the king's county government in general. All of this happened from preschool to well, to be exact the case was dropped about a year ago and I currently live with my abuser. quite funny isn't it? When I was younger both my brother and I watched my mother almost lose her life, on multiple accounts. My dad was a drunk and a user and took it out on my mom. Almost every night my brother and I heard yelling and would get out of bed to beg my dad to stop. We watched him choke, slam, punch, slap, and throw objects at her. My 4-year-old self watched him pull a gun on my mom. No matter how much we yelled at him she would not stop. Most of those nights consisted of us going to our grandma's or the police picking us up. It stopped once they got a divorce but it wasn't the end of fighting with my dad but ill get into that later on. Soon after my mom met my stepdad. he's the one who ultimately ruined me. Of course, my dad hurt me, and long story short my own health ruined my mental health by being in and out of hospitals due to my blood disorder but that's a different story. I don't want to get into too much detail because it still hurts me. I had a hard time sleeping when I was younger so my mom would rub my back to help, some nights my mom couldn't so my stepdad would but he would later take it too far. My stepdad was a bad drinker, vodka to be exact. and once my mom went to bed I was ordered to take my shorts off and only wear a shirt and underwear. Once I hit puberty I couldn't wear a bra because it took away "easy access". If I even dared to wear pants they came off the second he tucked me in. It went from back rubs to my "boobs", and butt, and past my underwear. I was a child mind you. I didn't have anything. This happened from the ages of 6 to 11. I didn't tell anyone. I didn't know what was happening but I knew I was uncomfortable. I knew I shouldn't have been touched there or even given 4 to 5 sleeping pills on random nights, he would call this his little "experiment". I finally spoke up to my grandma. I didn't tell her everything, just little things that hinted and she took those hints right away. Some random night in 2018 we went down to the police station, and I told my story. My mother didn't believe me but of course, she wouldn't. I never said anything to her so that was understandable. however, it still hurt me cause in my head I thought for years "Why doesn't she believe her own daughter over her husband?". That same night I was put into CPS and moved into my aunt's house, and from there I was put into therapy sessions and was still in school. Nothing changed there besides losing friends due to what ended up on the news. If I remember correctly one girl said "I can't be friends with a depressed girl." all because I was crying in the bathroom. I hated life. I was taken away from my mom, lost friends, and felt disgusting. I could feel his hands on me and just felt like it would all be better if I wasn't here. So there I started to self-harm. I didn't make it noticeable. I did it on my legs and blamed it on the dogs or the cats. I'm not proud but I have gotten better. I also would overdose on the medication that I had to take. It's called folic acid and after I read a pregnant woman overdosed on it I tried it. It never worked for me, but I am grateful it didn't. I am in a better spot mentally. I participate in sports to stay sane. Yes, I may live with him, and it's hard but I am thriving in school. I'm about to graduate from high school and a CNA program. I'm about to start life and it will only get better from here. One day I hope to help others stuck in similar situations as me.