Hobbies and interests
Animals
Anime
Athletic Training
Bass
Bodybuilding
Business And Entrepreneurship
Calisthenics
Clinical Psychology
Coaching
Cognitive Science
Cooking
Cosplay
Counseling And Therapy
Culinary Arts
Electric Guitar
Exercise And Fitness
Exercise Science
Drums
Dungeons And Dragons
Finance
Fitness
Food And Eating
Gardening
Guitar
Health Sciences
Hiking And Backpacking
Japanese
Kinesiology
Legos
Learning
Manga
Medicine
Meditation and Mindfulness
Mental Health
Music
Neuroscience
Nutrition and Health
Occupational Therapy
Orchestra
Philanthropy
Philosophy
Physiology
Psychology
Psychiatry
Self Care
Sustainability
True Crime
Violin
Voice Acting
Weightlifting
Reading
Self-Help
Manga
Education
Health
Leadership
Psychology
I read books multiple times per month
Alex Burnham
945
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FinalistAlex Burnham
945
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FinalistBio
Hey I'm Alex! Im an upcoming student at Colorado Mesa University. My passion in life is to help others make their lives into what they want it to be. Through a combination of perspectives like diet, physical health, social, environmental, and eastern and western psychology, I hope to influence the lives of others in a wholistic approach that leads to drastic improvement across the board! My main focus would be on people who are just 'stuck in a pit in life' or those who suffer from conditions like Depression, Anxiety, BPD, and other similar disorders, but I want to be able to help anyone and everyone that comes to me in the ways that they need help. As for me, I'm a determined, smart, empathetic, caring, and trustworthy guy who loves to make others days better. I'm very cautious and detail oriented but also make sure I keep an open mind and adaptability to any changing circumstances that may occur.
I have the massive task at hand of paying for college entirely on my own, but even so I have the ambition and determination to pursue my education without taking out a single student loan. As I know the how much the struggles that debt creates and sustains can ruin your life.
Education
Colorado Mesa University
Bachelor's degree programMajors:
- Clinical, Counseling and Applied Psychology
Minors:
- Parks, Recreation, Leisure, Fitness, and Kinesiology, Other
Goal Academy
High SchoolMiscellaneous
Desired degree level:
Bachelor's degree program
Graduate schools of interest:
Transfer schools of interest:
Majors of interest:
- Psychology, Other
- Cooking and Related Culinary Arts, General
- Sports, Kinesiology, and Physical Education/Fitness
- Parks, Recreation, Leisure, Fitness, and Kinesiology, Other
- Clinical, Counseling and Applied Psychology
- Mental and Social Health Services and Allied Professions
Career
Dream career field:
Health, Wellness, and Fitness
Dream career goals:
Delivery Driver
Jimmy John's2023 – Present1 yearReceiver
Veya2022 – 20231 year
Arts
Middle and High School Orchestra
MusicEvery quarter we'd have a concert, we also participated in several competitions throughout our city2015 – 2020
Public services
Volunteering
Mesa County Public Libraries — admissions staff and support staff2022 – 2022Volunteering
C.L.A.W.S. — general housekeeper2013 – 2013
Future Interests
Advocacy
Volunteering
Philanthropy
Entrepreneurship
Trever David Clark Memorial Scholarship
My journey with mental health has been a tumultuous one, marked by feelings of abandonment, belittlement, isolation, and loneliness. These experiences have shaped my perspective and fueled my passion to make a positive impact in the field of mental health. As I reflect on my own struggles and the flaws I've witnessed in the mental health industry, I am committed to pursuing a path of healing, prevention, and holistic care.
Growing up, I often felt neglected by my busy parents, spending significant time alone with minimal emotional support. Within my extended family, I experienced belittlement and being treated as younger than my age, hindering my self-confidence. School provided solace initially, but unfortunate encounters with teachers and the loss of friendships led to the development of social anxiety. The pandemic intensified my struggles, exacerbating my addiction to video games and amplifying feelings of depression and isolation.
Seeking help, I turned to therapy with hope for a breakthrough, only to be disappointed by a system that relied on a quick-fix approach. The prescribed antidepressants proved ineffective, leaving me feeling even more broken and hopeless. This experience shed light on the inadequacies and shortcomings of our mental health industry. It became apparent that the system primarily focused on reactive treatments rather than prevention and neglected the interconnectedness of physical and mental health.
Motivated by my personal journey, I resolved to take a different approach—a proactive one that prioritizes overall well-being and prevention. I embarked on a transformative path by altering my diet, engaging in regular exercise, and addressing my mental health through self-exploration and addiction recovery. The results were remarkable, surpassing my initial expectations and instilling in me a deep belief in the power of holistic care.
Armed with this newfound understanding, I am determined to be part of the solution. I aspire to contribute to a paradigm shift in the mental health industry, emphasizing the importance of integrated care that acknowledges the intricate connection between mind and body. My approach will encompass various aspects, including the social and environmental factors that influence our well-being. I aim to offer a fresh perspective, one that highlights the significance of prevention alongside treatment.
My personal journey has shown me the transformative effects of adopting a comprehensive approach to health and well-being. By sharing my experiences and supporting others, I hope to inspire others to take charge of their own health, both physically and mentally. I am driven to help individuals rebuild their lives, fostering a sense of pride and empowerment. College will serve as a stepping stone on my path, equipping me with the knowledge and skills necessary to enact meaningful change.
In conclusion, my own struggles with mental health, coupled with the shortcomings I witnessed in the industry, have ignited a deep desire within me to revolutionize the way we approach mental health care. I am committed to offering a holistic perspective that integrates mental, physical, and environmental well-being, emphasizing prevention alongside treatment. By embarking on this journey, I aim to ensure that no one else endures the suffering that I did. College will provide me with the platform and resources to pursue my passion for healing, ultimately contributing to a more compassionate and effective mental health landscape.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Charles Pulling Sr. Memorial Scholarship
As a non-traditional student, my educational journey has been characterized by unique experiences and a distinct perspective that sets me apart from the traditional academic path. Rather than following the conventional route, I have taken a different approach that has shaped my motivations and aspirations.
One aspect that distinguishes me as a non-traditional student is my decision to graduate from high school a year earlier than expected. This allowed me to embark on a deliberate gap period where I explored various opportunities for personal and professional growth. During this time, I actively sought work experiences that broadened my understanding of the world and deepened my empathy for others.
Through my employment during the gap years, I encountered individuals from diverse backgrounds and witnessed firsthand the challenges they faced. These experiences ignited a passion within me to make a positive impact on people's lives. I became acutely aware of the significance of mental health and the need for compassionate support and guidance.
While my path deviated from the conventional academic trajectory, my work experiences provided invaluable lessons and shaped my desire to pursue a career focused on helping and healing others. These experiences have given me a unique perspective and a profound understanding of the real-world challenges individuals encounter, fostering my commitment to making a difference in their lives.
In my journey as a non-traditional student, I have come to appreciate the importance of a holistic approach to mental health. Recognizing the limitations of traditional methods, I have sought to expand my knowledge and skills beyond the confines of the classroom. I have pursued self-directed learning, engaging with a wide range of resources, literature, and online courses to enhance my understanding of psychology, counseling techniques, and other relevant disciplines.
My non-traditional path has also allowed me to develop invaluable life skills such as adaptability, resilience, and self-motivation. Balancing work responsibilities with my academic pursuits has instilled in me a strong work ethic and a capacity to manage multiple priorities effectively.
What drives me to do more is my unwavering commitment to helping and supporting others. The challenges I have faced and the experiences I have encountered have fueled a deep-seated desire to make a positive impact on individuals' lives. It is this intrinsic motivation that pushes me to go beyond the expected and pursue a career focused on mental health and well-being.
Looking ahead, I am determined to continue my academic journey, seeking a degree in Counseling Psychology. I aspire to blend evidence-based practices with innovative approaches to therapy, providing individuals with a safe and supportive environment to explore their challenges and work towards personal growth and healing.
In conclusion, as a non-traditional student, I bring a unique perspective, diverse experiences, and an unwavering commitment to helping and supporting others. My decision to graduate early and engage in meaningful work experiences has shaped my motivations and aspirations. I am driven by a passion for making a positive impact on individuals' lives, and I am committed to pursuing a career in mental health that combines academic knowledge with real-world experiences. My non-traditional journey has equipped me with valuable skills, resilience, and a deep empathy that will guide me in my quest to contribute to the well-being of others and make a meaningful difference in the field of mental health.
Corrick Family First-Gen Scholarship
Throughout my life, I have encountered a series of challenging experiences that have profoundly shaped my perspective and aspirations. My journey has been marked by feelings of loneliness, isolation, and emotional turmoil. The difficulties I faced in forming and maintaining meaningful connections with others, coupled with a strained family dynamic, led me to retreat into a world of self-imposed isolation.
As I navigated these hardships, I sought solace in coping mechanisms such as social media, video games, and unhealthy eating habits. These served as temporary distractions from the overwhelming emotions I experienced on a daily basis. However, the pandemic became a turning point in my life. It intensified my sense of isolation, as I was abruptly transferred to an online school and lost touch with the few friends I had left. The pain of this abandonment was devastating, and my mental well-being reached its lowest point.
In the midst of this darkness, a realization emerged—I yearned for connection and purpose. This newfound understanding became the catalyst for my personal growth and transformation. I channeled my negative emotions into a driving force, propelling me forward on a journey of self-discovery and healing.
Throughout this transformative journey, I have diligently worked on various aspects of my life, including mental, physical, and social well-being. I realized that true improvement requires a holistic approach, encompassing mindfulness, physical health, diet, and social connections. I delved into both Eastern and Western perspectives on the mind, exploring the intricate interplay between psychological and physiological well-being. I recognized that goals, aspirations, and purpose play a vital role in one's overall satisfaction and fulfillment. Moreover, I acknowledged the significance of social support and environmental factors in shaping one's mental health. Financial stability, too, emerged as a crucial component that cannot be overlooked.
Driven by my own experiences and a profound desire to make a difference, I have discovered my purpose—to help individuals who have suffered as I have, empowering them to improve their lives. I aspire to be a guiding light, extending a helping hand to those who feel lost and hopeless.
To realize my aspirations, I am pursuing a degree in Counseling Psychology, complemented by a minor in exercise science. This educational path will enable me to deepen my understanding of the mind-body connection and equip me with the tools to provide comprehensive support to my future clients. While my exact career trajectory beyond this point remains uncertain, I am committed to seizing every opportunity to expand my knowledge and make a meaningful impact in the field.
Undoubtedly, the path I have chosen will present its challenges, as I strive to carve a unique approach to mental health and well-being. However, my unwavering determination to help individuals who feel unhelpable and to guide them towards light and hope will fuel my journey. I am prepared to persevere, blazing a trail for others to follow and demonstrating that transformation and healing are possible even in the darkest of times.
In conclusion, my past experiences have shaped my desire to provide compassionate guidance and support to those in need. My journey, though marked by hardship, has given me the strength, empathy, and determination to pursue a career in improving the lives of others. With a holistic approach to mental health and well-being, I aim to help individuals find purpose, build resilience, and experience the transformative power of healing. I am committed to dedicating my life to this cause, knowing that each person I assist brings us one step closer to a world where everyone can thrive.
Headbang For Science
I wholeheartedly aspire to become a steadfast pillar of unwavering strength and support, extending my caring embrace to not only my cherished future wife and children but to every individual I have the privilege to encounter in my journey through life. Driven by an ardent desire to embody thoughtfulness, kindness, and profound understanding, I aim to enrich the lives of others with boundless warmth, empathy, and transformative healing.
My academic and professional goals revolve around a comprehensive perspective that integrates psychology and exercise science. Currently majoring in psychology and minoring in exercise science, I am dedicated to improving individuals' lives through a holistic understanding of physical and mental health. My ambition is to work in a field where I can combine these disciplines, fostering overall well-being and empowering others to lead fulfilling lives.
This scholarship award holds immense significance for me as it would greatly contribute to my goal of graduating without accumulating student debt. By alleviating the financial burden, the scholarship would enable me to concentrate fully on my studies and pursue my passion for helping others, unhindered by overwhelming financial obligations. It represents a vital stepping stone toward realizing my aspiration of making a positive impact on people's lives.
To finance my education, I have taken on the responsibility of funding it myself. Through relentless work and diligent saving, I am striving to accumulate the necessary funds. Additionally, I am actively seeking out various scholarship opportunities to supplement my financial resources. With unwavering dedication, I am determined to cover the expenses associated with all four years of my education.
Heavy metal music holds a profound place in my heart, serving as a powerful medium for emotional expression and personal connection. The genre embodies a range of emotions, from sadness and despair to determination and resilience. It resonates with me on a deep level, allowing me to channel my feelings and find solace in the music's raw intensity.
Among the countless heavy metal bands I've encountered, Band-Maid has secured a special place as my favorite band of all time. Their electrifying energy, intricate instrumentals, fantastic sound design, emotion-filled songs, and passionate performances captivate me. Band-Maid's music speaks to my soul, evoking a sense of empowerment and inspiration. Their unique blend of heavy metal and rock showcases their exceptional talent and creativity, leaving an indelible mark on my musical journey.
Band-Maid's powerful sound, combined with their heartfelt lyrics, fuels my determination and strengthens my resolve to overcome challenges. Their music resonates deeply within me, igniting the fire that propels me forward on my path towards achieving my dreams. Their unwavering dedication to their craft and their ability to create a powerful and captivating musical experience make them a constant source of inspiration. Anytime I face a challenge in life, I know I can turn on a song like "Choose me", "Fate", "Unleash!!!", or "Hibana" to remind me of the emotions that drive me to pursue my dreams and turbo charge my progress towards the life I desire.
In conclusion, my unwavering commitment to becoming a pillar of strength and support, my academic and professional goals centered around promoting physical and mental well-being, and my financial independence in financing my education are all intertwined. This scholarship award represents a vital stepping stone in my journey, enabling me to fully concentrate on my studies and pursue my aspirations without the burden of student debt. Heavy metal music, with its emotional depth and unyielding energy, has played a significant role in shaping my resilience and determination. Band-Maid, as my favorite band of all time, exemplifies the power and inspiration I find in heavy metal music. Their electrifying music and unwavering passion continue to fuel my drive and remind me of the indomitable spirit within. Together, these elements form the foundation upon which I am building a future dedicated to making a positive impact on the lives of others.
I Can Do Anything Scholarship
I wholeheartedly aspire to become a steadfast pillar of unwavering strength and support, extending my caring embrace to not only my cherished future wife and children but to every individual I have the privilege to encounter in my journey through life, wherein I am driven by an ardent desire to embody thoughtfulness, kindness, and profound understanding, aiming to enrich the lives of others with boundless warmth, empathy, and transformative healing.
Book Lovers Scholarship
If I could choose one book for everyone in the world to read, it would be Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning." This profound work explores the pursuit of a meaningful life amidst extreme adversity.
Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and renowned psychiatrist, reflects on his experiences in Nazi concentration camps and delves into finding purpose and significance in life. His reflections provide a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the capacity to find meaning even in the most challenging circumstances.
"Man's Search for Meaning" reminds us that despite suffering, we possess the freedom to choose our attitude towards those circumstances. Frankl emphasizes finding meaning in our lives through work, relationships, and personal growth. By embracing our unique purpose, we can endure and transcend difficult situations.
This book imparts a broader philosophical message about the significance of our choices and the responsibility we have in shaping our lives. It encourages reflection on values and aspirations, prompting a deeper understanding of what truly matters and brings fulfillment.
By sharing this book, we foster collective reflection on the pursuit of meaning. It ignites conversations, inspires introspection, and cultivates empathy among diverse individuals.
"Man's Search for Meaning" is a poignant reminder that even in despair, meaning and purpose can be found. It invites exploration of the depths of our souls, urging us to contribute positively to the world.
In conclusion, if everyone in the world could read just one book, "Man's Search for Meaning" would be my choice. Its profound insights into a meaningful life, universal themes, and the resilience of the human spirit make it transformative and thought-provoking. It has the potential to resonate with individuals from all walks of life, inspiring them to live purposefully amidst adversity.
Taylor Swift ‘1989’ Fan Scholarship
Among the stellar lineup of songs in Taylor Swift's iconic album "1989," one track stands out as my favorite: "Blank Space." With its infectious melody, clever lyrics, and captivating storytelling, "Blank Space" encapsulates the essence of Swift's musical prowess and ability to delve into the complexities of relationships.
"Blank Space" immediately grabs the listener's attention with its atmospheric opening, setting the stage for an emotional rollercoaster ride. As the song progresses, the lyrics showcase Swift's keen ability to craft vivid narratives that resonate with listeners of all backgrounds. It explores the fragility and vulnerability of love, juxtaposed with the perceptions and stereotypes that often accompany it.
The song's chorus, with Swift declaring "Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane," challenges the common perception of her as a hopeless romantic or someone with a penchant for tumultuous relationships. It highlights the societal tendency to label and judge individuals based on their past experiences, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
What makes "Blank Space" truly remarkable is Swift's ability to infuse the song with a sense of self-awareness and irony. With lines like "Darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream," she toys with the idea of being the villain in a relationship, acknowledging and embracing the exaggerated perceptions others may have of her. By doing so, she transcends these stereotypes and empowers herself by reclaiming the narrative.
Musically, "Blank Space" is a tour de force. Its infectious pop hooks and catchy melodies make it irresistible to sing along to, ensuring its place as a fan favorite. The production, helmed by Max Martin and Shellback, is sleek and polished, perfectly complementing the song's lyrical themes. The combination of pulsating beats, ethereal synth pads, and Swift's dynamic vocals creates a sonic landscape that amplifies the emotional depth of the lyrics.
Furthermore, "Blank Space" represents a pivotal moment in Taylor Swift's artistic evolution. It showcases her willingness to experiment with her sound while retaining her signature storytelling style. The song's success not only propelled her further into the pop music stratosphere but also solidified her status as one of the most influential artists of her generation.
In conclusion, "Blank Space" emerges as a standout favorite from Taylor Swift's "1989" album. Its intoxicating blend of relatable lyrics, infectious melodies, and powerful storytelling captivates listeners, allowing them to navigate the intricate world of love and perception. Swift's ability to challenge stereotypes and embrace her own narrative adds an extra layer of depth to the song. With its lasting impact and musical brilliance, "Blank Space" remains an unforgettable gem in Swift's discography.
Mind, Body, & Soul Scholarship
For me, both of the answers to those questions are intertwined. My biggest goals and hopes in going to college are to finally find my people and to learn how to support and help others from a perspective of mental and physical health. Learning more about maintaining a healthy mind body and soul for not only myself but for others too is quite literally my biggest reason in choosing to pursue a bachelor's in psychology with a minor in exercise science.
Over the past few years of my life, achieving and maintaining a healthy mind body and soul has been my entire life. I began my journey in the worst spot of my life at the end of the pandemic. Before COVID happened, the perfect storm had been brewing in my life. Friends had been growing distant, I was alienated at school, my family was putting less effort into caring about me by the day, and through it all I was growing more and more miserable and anxious. The pandemic simply accelerated the process toward the inevitable: complete and total isolation. I was miserable throughout the two years it lasted. Every second I wasn't indulging in some shallow pleasure like video games or junk food I was mentally a wreck. I couldn't go a day without breaking down and crying because of it all, and the worst part is, I blamed myself for it all. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong, or what I had done to wind up in such a terrible spot. I blamed myself for my friends drifting away, I blamed my awkwardness and weirdness and anxiety for all the teasing and bullying I had to endure, and I blamed my sorrow and misery over it all on my weakness and inability to try.
One day, however, I decided to change. I decided that Id take matters into my own hands and fight to escape this miserable pit I had endured for so long. After many failed attempts and finding many bad methods to recover from this, I believe that I've found the strategies that best suit me for maintaining wellness through thick and thin. Even in the face of something as potentially stressful as college.
My methods all include focusing on well-being. Whether that be mental, physical, social, or even the well-being of others. First, for mental health my favorite practices have been journalling through my emotions and experiences, meditating and trying various new methods of it, and sharing my emotions and feelings with others both in a personal setting and a setting of official group coaching. For physical health, I regularly exercise, eat healthily, and see a professional in order to keep in touch with the needs of my body. My most helpful method, however, has been helping others and supporting them. Nothing has been more fulfilling than sharing in the sorrows of a friend to ease their burden, helping to come up with solutions to a problem they're facing, or even just spending time with them when they're hurting.
My journey has been a long one, but throughout it all one thought has been on my mind: "I want to help others to heal the same way I've had to find on my own". I don't want others to suffer the way I have. I want to be a guiding light and a helping hand for not only those close to me but for as many people as possible. I want to do this for a career, and a college education will help me in doing that more than anything else.
Rivera-Gulley First-Gen Scholarship Award
Im going to be honest with you. Originally, my motivation for attending college was not one of grand ambition. I didn't have a dream career or some great ambition, I just wanted to not be alone. Shortly before I applied for college, I was in the worst time of my life. I was depressed, I was entirely alone and isolated, I was anxious, I was unhealthy, and I was miserable. Every day was like torture and all I ever did about it was try and kill the pain through indulgences like junk food, social media, and video games. Fortunately for me, however, I found my guiding light in December of 2020 in the form of finding the people whom I love, being my best for them, and supporting them in every way shape and form. Originally when applying for college, my major was Culinary Arts. I had chosen that in hopes of learning skills Id use to support the people around me, as well as finding the people to be around in the first place.
However, as time has passed I've found that my desire to help others doesn't just extend to those closest to me, it extends to everyone. I thought long and hard about how I could help those that feel like they've been abandoned by our broken society. All those that feel hopeless and abandoned. Every person that feels like their efforts will forever be futile and that they'll never achieve their dreams. Through many many hours of thought, dozens of conversations with professionals, and my own journey of finding what works and what doesn't work, I've found that the way I can do that is to focus on the things I long to do most: support, heal, and help. My goal is to pursue an education that will further my understanding of the human psyche, mind, body, gut, and how incredibly interconnected they all are in order to take a holistic approach to improving the lives of my patients. I want to help them in ways that will make consistent and large changes in not only their physical and mental health, but in any category they need help in. Whether that be socially, financially, dietary, addiction-wise, health issues, depression, anxiety, lack of focus, you name it and I want to be able to help with it.
In order to achieve this goal, I am currently admitted to Colorado Mesa University, and my classes will begin in the fall of 2023. I'm majoring in Psychology, with a minor in Exercise Science so that I may further my understanding of the mind and body. As of now, I'm not sure if I'll take the leap of attending medical school after I achieve this degree. It would be like a dream come true for me, but it entirely hinges on my circumstances at the time and my financial situation.
In conclusion, I am a man whose goal is to help others. I strive to be the best I can be for my loved ones, and support them in every way I can. My dream is to be the guiding light for those lost in the darkness that shows them the way to the life they've always dreamed of. I am a helper, and I hope that you will help me to achieve my dream by considering me for this scholarship.
Thank you for your time.
@normandiealise #GenWealth Scholarship
To have generational wealth is to have wealth that can be passed down to your children, their children, and so on. It can be a life-changing amount of wealth or simply a little bit. Although I think that most people would agree that the more you have the better. I am one of those people.
I hope to achieve generational wealth so that my family may prosper when I'm gone. I want my children to experience a life where they don't have to worry about financial security. I want their biggest priorities to be their dreams and their loved ones, not whether or not they can afford to eat this month and keep a roof over their heads. I want those that follow me to live in security in this ever-declining world, and I want my family to be secure in that wealth for generations to come.
In order to achieve that, I like to take not only an ambitious approach but a smart one too with a high rate of success. For several years now I've been investing in mutual funds. every month I set aside somewhere between $100 and $250 to do nothing with but invest. I do not spend the earnings from those investments I reinvest them back into mutual funds. Using this strategy I've just about doubled what I've invested due to compound interest. I am confident that if I stick with this strategy, ill be able to accumulate a large enough amount of wealth to at least guarantee a lavish retirement for me and my future wife.
However, you can't invest any money if you don't make any. That's where my ambition comes in.
While my goal for my career is more to help people than to make money, I can't work for free. My goal is to offer a unique perspective on health that takes into account physical, mental and social health. As well as other perspectives such as well-being, and environments in order to help my clients overcome their struggles and achieve the life they've always dreamed about. Whatever their struggles are, I hope to adapt my treatment to their needs and unique situations, as well as learn from each of my patients so that I can better help others who seek my aid.
I believe that I will offer a unique perspective that very few other professionals do and that I will be highly successful in attracting and helping patients.
I know that on this quest however student debt will only serve to hinder me, and since I am unfortunately paying for my college all on my own, I must get as many scholarships as I can.
Mental Health Importance Scholarship
Originally, I didn't believe my mental health was important. I never cared about my mental or physical health. I would actively and constantly engage in harmful activities like binging video games, constant social media use, sitting in one spot all day, and eating nothing but processed garbage.
The pandemic was the push that was needed to finally send me into the most miserable hell I've ever experienced. I lost all my friends and any semblance of a social life I had left, and I was forced to be around my family, who was never very caring towards me for over a year and a half. During this time my indulgences in things like video games reached a record of around 12-16 hours a day.
Lo and behold my mental health also dropped off a cliff. Every second I wasn't numbing the pain with hedonistic short-term gratification was one spent in misery. I cried myself to sleep nearly every night, and I was so numbed out that I couldn't even tell why. I even attempted suicide at one point.
Eventually, I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I decided to change things and to take back control of my life.
The start of that journey was incredibly difficult. It felt like nothing worked, and I wanted to give up so many times. Over time however, through this sort of trial by fire, I found the strategies that worked for me to not only maintain my mental health, but to heal from all the damage that had been done to me, and that I had done to myself.
The most foundational of these strategies was journaling. Journalling helped me to sort, explore, organize, and define my feelings. It was also incredible to help me recognize and avoid patterns like thought loops and anxiety. It can be incredibly insightful to journal in any number of ways. Anything from free form to thought dumping to writing an answer to a prompt. Any way is sure to help you, especially in the long run.
Another thing that has helped me more than words to describe, is eating healthy and exercising. While not a miracle cure for everything, simply giving your body what it needs to heal can work wonders in aiding your physical and mental health. Getting a good workout as well has numerous health benefits. For me personally, it can be an amazing stress reliever, not to mention a productive outlet for that stress.
What has helped me the most by far are mindfulness activities, namely meditation and awareness practices. Just like journalling, there are many different ways to go about it that yield many different results. Also like journalling, it is not only helpful in the moment, but it changes and heals you even more in the long run.
My final strategy for maintaining my mental health is to help others maintain their mental health. It is incredibly fulfilling, soothing, and just plain enjoyable. Nothing in this world makes me feel better than to not only help someone else work through their problems but to see them better because of it.
Ever since the time where I fell into misery, mental health has been extremely important to me. I hope to be able to not only continue to learn new ways of keeping up my mental health but to strive to better help others. Both in my personal life and in my career.
Ethel Hayes Destigmatization of Mental Health Scholarship
My experience with mental health has been one of abandonment, belittlement, isolation, and loneliness. Even when I was a child, I was often alone. My parents would usually be busy working and just leave me to my grandma, who left me to my own devices. When I did have time around my family, they didn't care about me beyond what felt like "the bare minimum". In school, I made many friends, but my parents would never let me do anything with them outside of it.
My extended family has always had this tendency to belittle me. As a kid, I was extremely smart for my age, so mentally I was 4-5 years more mature than I was physically. Regardless of that, I was treated as younger than I was. I was laughed at, used as a punchline, and not taken seriously. It got so bad that I eventually learned to simply stop talking around them altogether.
At that age, school life was still good. I had friends and was valued. Unfortunately, that wouldn't last. It started in 3rd grade with some particularly terrible teachers that subjected me to worse treatment than my family did. At the end of 4th grade, I switched schools and I lost all my friends for the first time. I recovered quickly from that though. In middle school, after one too many instances of humiliation, I began to grow closed off from fear of rejection and started to develop social anxiety. In 7th grade, I had a teacher that made it her life mission to bring me and my friends down and hurt us in every way she could. Once 9th grade rolled around, I lost my main friend group again and since I was liked by all I was left in the middle. Even my best friend that I'd known since 5th grade stopped reaching out to me. By the end of 10th grade, I had made a few friends, but along came the pandemic.
The start of the pandemic marks the worst time in my life. By that point, I had already grown very addicted to video games, which I used as a coping mechanism for the anxiety, depression, and loneliness I felt daily. So when you add the pain of losing the last of my friends at school and being stuck in a home with a family that may as well be strangers, it's a recipe for depression. In 11th grade, I was transferred to an entirely online school. I went on to graduate without meeting a single one of my new classmates.
By this point, mental breakdowns were a daily occurrence. Every second I didn't spend killing the pain with things like video games or social media was so miserable I could hardly stand it. My physical health too was rapidly going down the drain. The only thing that kept me from giving up was a group of online friends Id met around the middle of 9th grade. Lo and behold, I was abandoned by them too. I fell into my lowest point ever. It was so painful that looking back, the kindest memory I have is of me crying under my desk. That went on for about 8 months until I finally started to pick myself up in hopes of a better life, and relationships where I mattered.
I started by seeking therapy. I was under the belief that they would be able to help. Lo and behold, I was wrong. They sent me out with a bottle of antidepressants and a "You're fine! Just take these and you'll be better within 3 months!" The fact that the antidepressants didn't help only made me feel more broken and miserable than I already did. Eventually, after three similar experiences, I realized that our system for treating mental illness is not only ineffective but broken and harmful. I wasn't the exception to the rule when I didn't get better. As I started to look into it, I saw the same thing can be said about the physical side of the industry too. It only 'fixes' things when they get too broken to be ignored. It doesn't help to prevent any of the awful diseases or suffering so much of our population is subjected to. Despite our medical technology advancing, rates of depression, mental illness, diabetes, Alzheimer's, dementia, and even suicide have only risen. Our modern medical system is closed-minded in nature. It focuses on either the body or the mind and fails to take into account how interlinked the two are. It also has no focus on prevention. Most medical professionals only care about treatment.
Once I saw this, I decided to try a new approach. One focused not just on fixing the leaks, but maintaining the quality of the ship so no leaks happen in the first place. The result was a night and day difference from my previous approach. Simply by altering my diet, exercising, exploring and working on my own mental health, acknowledging my needs, and working to overcome my addictions to junk food, video games, and social media, I was able to make progress I never even believed possible.
I want to do my part in helping to fix our broken system. I want to help people to fix their health and lives and make them into ones that they can be proud of. I plan on taking up a perspective of health and prevention, with treatment. I want to focus not just on the mind or the body, but on both. Alongside external factors like socialization and environmental influencers. I want to offer a unique perspective on each of these that our current systems don't. Over these past few years, I've been witness to just how much good working on these can do. I want to do my part in ensuring no one else has to continue suffering as I did. College is but the first step on that journey.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Elijah's Helping Hand Scholarship Award
My mental health experience has been one of loneliness, isolation, abandonment, and misery. Nearly every friend I've ever had has left me for seemingly no reason other than disinterest, and my family has always been quiet, cold, and distant. Several of them often belittled me as a child even.
I learned that the world was harsh and that others would only hurt me, so I adapted and I closed myself off. I hid my true self deep within my mind and retreated into my own world. I grew addicted to coping mechanisms like social media, video games, and junk food to numb the overwhelming feelings of loneliness, longing, and desperation I suffered from daily.
When the pandemic hit at the end of my sophomore year of high school, I was transferred to an online school and what few friends I had left drifted away and didn't look back. I was devastated. I went on to graduate one year later without having met a single one of my new classmates. Every day during the pandemic was like torture. I was locked in a house with a family that treated me like a stranger, and I was constantly reminded of my social failures. Every second I wasn't medicating myself with indulgences and instant gratification I was miserable or crying, so I ended up doing almost nothing but indulging. Mental breakdowns were a daily occurrence at their worst. The worst part was, I had buried myself and my true feelings down so far, and I was numbing myself with video games so much that I couldn't even truly tell why I was miserable.
One day though, I was shown why I was miserable. I was shown that what I was missing were connections and purpose. I channeled the negative emotion into a fuel to propel me forward. Thus I began my journey.
Throughout my journey, I've worked on everything you can think of, from my mental health to my physical, to my social life. Even my room layout was changed because of that. From my journey, I've found that my purpose is to help people who are like me improve their lives. I want to be a guiding light, and a helping hand to those who suffer.
To do this, I want to not limit myself to any one perspective. I know from experience that if you treat mental health by giving your patient medication and therapy, it will not yield long-term lasting results. I have learned that to improve your life you must focus on all aspects of health. From mindfulness to brain-gut connections, diet, and physical health. To traditional Eastern and Western perspectives on mind. To goals, aspirations, and purpose. To social life and environmental factors. Even financial stability can be a major factor in this equation. I want to offer this unique approach so that no patient that walks through my door fails to improve their life.
To do this, I'm first seeking a degree in Counseling Psychology with a minor in Exercise Science, so I can expand my knowledge of the mind and body and how the two are connected. I'm honestly not sure where my journey will take me beyond this, but I plan to actively hunt down and take every opportunity I can in this field.
I know that this path will be a hard one and that I will be one of the first to walk it, but I'm willing to fight my way through if it means helping those that feel unhelpable and being the guide that leads them out of the dark.
Mikey Taylor Memorial Scholarship
My mental health experience has been one of loneliness, isolation, abandonment, and misery. Nearly every friend I've ever had has left me for seemingly no reason other than disinterest, and my family has always been quiet, cold, and distant. Several of them often belittled me as a child even.
I learned that the world was harsh and that others would only hurt me, so I adapted and I closed myself off. I hid my true self deep within my mind and retreated into my own world. I grew addicted to coping mechanisms like social media, video games, and junk food to numb the overwhelming feelings of loneliness, longing, and desperation I suffered from daily.
When the pandemic hit at the end of my sophomore year of high school, I was transferred to an online school and what few friends I had left drifted away and didn't look back. I was devastated. I went on to graduate one year later without having met a single one of my new classmates. Every day during the pandemic was like torture. I was locked in a house with a family that treated me like a stranger, and I was constantly reminded of my social failures. Every second I wasn't medicating myself with indulgences and instant gratification I was miserable or crying, so I ended up doing almost nothing but indulging. Mental breakdowns were a daily occurrence at their worst. The worst part was, I had buried myself and my true feelings down so far, and I was numbing myself with video games so much that I couldn't even truly tell why I was miserable.
One day though, I was shown why I was miserable. I was shown that what I was missing were connections and purpose. I channeled the negative emotion into a fuel to propel me forward. Thus I began my journey.
Throughout my journey, I've worked on everything you can think of, from my mental health to my physical, to my social life. Even my room layout was changed because of that. From my journey, I've found that my purpose is to help people who are like me improve their lives. I want to be a guiding light, and a helping hand to those who suffer.
To do this, I want to not limit myself to any one perspective. I know from experience that if you treat mental health by giving your patient medication and therapy, it will not yield long-term lasting results. I have learned that to improve your life you must focus on all aspects of health. From mindfulness to brain-gut connections, diet, and physical health. To traditional Eastern and Western perspectives on mind. To goals, aspirations, and purpose. To social life and environmental factors. Even financial stability can be a major factor in this equation. I want to offer this unique approach so that no patient that walks through my door fails to improve their life.
To do this, I'm first seeking a degree in Counseling Psychology with a minor in exercise science, so I can expand my knowledge of the mind and body and how the two are connected. I'm honestly not sure where my journey will take me beyond this, but I plan to actively hunt down and take every opportunity I can in this field.
I know that this path will be a hard one and that I will be one of the first to walk it, but I'm willing to fight my way through if it means helping those that feel unhelpable and being the guide that leads them out of the dark.
Elevate Mental Health Awareness Scholarship
My experience with mental health has been one of abandonment, belittlement, isolation, and loneliness. Even when I was a child, I was often alone. My parents would usually be busy working and just leave me to my grandma, who left me to my own devices. When I did have time around my family, they didn't care about me beyond what felt like "the bare minimum". In school, I made many friends, but my parents would never let me do anything with them outside of it.
My extended family has always had this tendency to belittle me. As a kid, I was extremely smart for my age, so mentally I was 4-5 years more mature than I was physically. Regardless of that, I was treated as younger than I was. I was laughed at, used as a punchline, and not taken seriously. It got so bad that I eventually learned to simply stop talking around them altogether.
At that age, school life was still good. I had friends and was valued. Unfortunately, that wouldn't last. It started in 3rd grade with some particularly terrible teachers that subjected me to worse treatment than my family did. At the end of 4th grade, I switched schools and I lost all my friends for the first time. I recovered quickly from that though. In middle school, after one too many instances of humiliation, I began to grow closed off from fear of rejection and started to develop social anxiety. In 7th grade, I had a teacher that made it her life mission to bring me and my friends down and hurt us in every way she could. Once 9th grade rolled around, I lost my main friend group again and since I was liked by all I was left in the middle. Even my best friend that I'd known since 5th grade stopped reaching out to me. By the end of 10th grade, I had made a few friends, but along came the pandemic.
The start of the pandemic marks the worst time in my life. By that point, I had already grown very addicted to video games, which I used as a coping mechanism for the anxiety, depression, and loneliness I felt daily. So when you add the pain of losing the last of my friends at school and being stuck in a home with a family that may as well be strangers, it's a recipe for depression. In 11th grade, I was transferred to an entirely online school. I went on to graduate without meeting a single one of my new classmates.
By this point, mental breakdowns were a daily occurrence. Every second I didn't spend killing the pain with things like video games or social media was so miserable I could hardly stand it. My physical health too was rapidly going down the drain. The only thing that kept me from giving up was a group of online friends Id met around the middle of 9th grade. Lo and behold, I was abandoned by them too. I fell into my lowest point ever. It was so painful that looking back, the kindest memory I have is of me crying under my desk. That went on for about 8 months until I finally started to pick myself up in hopes of a better life, and relationships where I mattered.
I started by seeking therapy. I was under the belief that they would be able to help. Lo and behold, I was wrong. They sent me out with a bottle of antidepressants and a "You're fine! Just take these and you'll be better within 3 months!" The fact that the antidepressants didn't help only made me feel more broken and miserable than I already did. Eventually, after three similar experiences, I realized that our system for treating mental illness is not only ineffective but broken and harmful. I wasn't the exception to the rule when I didn't get better. As I started to look into it, I saw the same thing can be said about the physical side of the industry too. It only 'fixes' things when they get too broken to be ignored. It doesn't help to prevent any of the awful diseases or suffering so much of our population is subjected to. Despite our medical technology advancing, rates of depression, mental illness, diabetes, Alzheimer's, dementia, and even suicide have only risen. Our modern medical system is closed-minded in nature. It focuses on either the body or the mind and fails to take into account how interlinked the two are. It also has no focus on prevention. Most medical professionals only care about treatment.
Once I saw this, I decided to try a new approach. One focused not just on fixing the leaks, but maintaining the quality of the ship so no leaks happen in the first place. The result was a night and day difference from my previous approach. Simply by altering my diet, exercising, exploring and working on my own mental health, acknowledging my needs, and working to overcome my addictions to junk food, video games, and social media, I was able to make progress I never even believed possible.
I want to do my part in helping to fix our broken system. I want to help people to fix their health and lives and make them into ones that they can be proud of. I plan on taking up a perspective of health and prevention, with treatment. I want to focus not just on the mind or the body, but on both. Alongside external factors like socialization and environmental influencers. I want to offer a unique perspective on each of these that our current systems don't. Over these past few years, I've been witness to just how much good working on these can do. I want to do my part in ensuring no one else has to continue suffering as I did. College is but the first step on that journey.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Christina Taylese Singh Memorial Scholarship
Hello! My name is Alex. I'm a 19 year old upcoming college student who is determined to find a career in preventative medicine. Also known as health and wellness. I hope to offer a unique perspective on this field by combining the viewpoints of physical well-being and health, diet and gut biome, mental health from an Eastern and Western perspective, environmental factors that affect each patient's health, as well as the social lives and environments that each patient has. I hope to use this as a method of rounded approach in order to treat my patients in a holistic manner that leads not only to healing and returning to health but to growth and improvement so profound that my clients will be able to lead the kinds of fulfilling lives they'd only dreamed of before they came to me.
To tell you why I've decided to enter this field I'll tell you a story.
My entire life I haven't cared about my health. I never did anything for my mental health, I never tried to eat healthily, I didn't even pay attention to all the things that affected it like my environment, diet or those around me. It went on that way for nearly 18 years before I finally was forced to look around at what my life had become.
Just from looking at it from a health perspective, you could tell that it was a mess. I was out of shape, my sleep cycle was destroyed, my skin was covered in acne, my posture was terrible, my digestion was poor at best, I'd have mental breakdowns on the daily, and I was always either anxious or depressed. It all was so overwhelming that I couldn't even tell what I was feeling at any given time.
So I tried to go through the standard healthcare system. I was given treatments, "Take this pill, do this therapy, it'll all get better" they said. None of it did. Nothing changed. In fact, the fact that those treatments weren't working just made me feel worse. So I tried a different approach. I went for an approach of mindfulness, well-being, health, and diet.
Progress seemed slow, but in reality, my body was undergoing massive change and healing. Looking back I hardly recognize the person I was even a year ago. All of that change, and all it took was some exercise, taking time for my mental health, paying attention to my environments, and fixing my diet. Now not only are my problems improved and improving, but now I'll reap all the numerous benefits of a healthy life. Just because I made a few changes.
My whole journey has really given me a different perspective on both our healthcare system and the patients it tries to help. It's made me realize how much our body and mind can heal if we just stop destroying them on a daily basis and give them what they need to thrive. It taught me the importance of mental and physical health. Above all though, it taught me that our current healthcare system isnt made for sustaining health and wellness. I think it's time we change that and move closer to a society where all those horrible afflictions like diabetes, cancer, Alzheimer's, dementia, depression, and so many more are back to being rare again.
I believe it is my calling to help drive us toward that future, improve as many lives as I can, and help heal the wounds that our healthcare system can't.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Harry & Mary Sheaffer Scholarship
My life goal is to help people to overcome the hardships in their lives and become their best selves. It's a career choice that I haven't been able to put a title to yet. I can't really point to a job like "Firefighter" "surgeon" or "welder" and say "That's exactly the job I want to work!" I think the best way for me to explain to you what this desire is, is to tell you a story.
My life has been one of depression. Ever since I was a kid, my family never really showed affection for me. I was belittled by those around me. My unique qualities such as my intellect and my unnaturally high sense of empathy were never really recognized as anything more than "He's a smart and kind kid". Even though Id give my all for my friends and I loved them more than I did my family, they always ended up abandoning me. To be honest, I still don't know why they all left me. It wasn't out of a fight or a disagreement or anything, I guess it was just because I wasn't that special of a person to them.
As my life went on more and more miseries piled up, each driving me further into a pit of depression. Eventually, by about halfway through the 2020 pandemic, My life was at its lowest ever. I had no friends, no meaning to life, no passion, no drive, and my family was distant and disconnected more so than ever. My daily life consisted of such shallow indulgences as junk food, video games, and social media.
Luckily for me, there came a point where I found a reason to push on in the form of helping people. I realized that what I went through is commonplace in our world and that the "cures" to it dont work for most people. I realized that there are a lot of people who suffer as I did and who wont get a lucky break as I did. I realized that that's my calling, to help people get out of those pits and work their way to living their best life.
So I started my journey of working myself out of that pit. The roads been long and arduous, but it's been a fantastic teaching and growing experience. I've learned about all the different perspectives you have to take into account to get out of those pits. About how you have to look at your life from the perspectives of mental and physical health and well-being, social life and fulfillment, your financial situation, what environment you're in, as well as your Dharma, the Sanskrit word that means passion, duty, goals, and purpose. I've learned about the complexities of each of those dimensions as well as the methods by which you work on each. I've learned not only what works and what doesn't, but that what works and what doesn't is different for everyone. That no two patients that walk in the door of my future practice will be the same.
College is simply the next step on my journey to achieving my vision, and I know that student debt will only serve to block my path. I hope to advance my education and understanding of the human body and mind, as well as the intricacies of how both work and how the two are connected. In doing so, I hope to take strides towards my goal of helping people get out of the pits so miserable no words can describe them, and guiding them towards the life they've always wanted.
SmartAsset College SmartStart Personal Finance Scholarship
Finances. That's a big topic. It's also one I've spent many hours learning about and studying.
It's so hard to pick just one bit of advice as the best I've heard. As I sit here and think about it so many pieces of advice that would make a great answer float around in my head. However, every single one of them is advice I got from Dave Ramsey and his course on personal finance.
That course was a gift from my grandparents for my 16th birthday. At the time I honestly thought it was a lame birthday present, but once I started the course it opened my eyes to the world. It was like I saw every sales pitch, product, and financial action available as it truly was for the first time ever. I learned about budgeting, banks, investing, retirement plans, stocks, bonds, CDs, debt, and more terminology than I knew existed. As well as what both smart and stupid financial practices look like.
The biggest bad decision I learned not to make was going into debt. I think that the single best piece of financial wisdom I gleaned from that course was how terrible of an idea debt is for any reason.
In today's world we're sold debt everywhere we go. From credit cards to car loans, to loans to pay back your loans. Money borrowing is everywhere. In the past year or two, they've even started to make financing options and long-term payment plans available on the smallest purchases like clothes or coffee. It's ludicrous! What's even more absurd though is how many people use these services. Debt is a staple and a cancer in our consumerist culture. It's baked into our minds from childhood that debt isn't that bad, when in fact it cripples you, keeps you poor, and makes you a slave to the lender.
We live in a nation of bad financial decisions, where people impulse buy everything in sight using money they don't have. They sign up to have their paycheck siphoned, for a purchase they don't even want, that they're paying 20% more on. Yet people wonder why they're broke?
The biggest tragedy of all is that in most schools in this nation, children aren't taught about managing money. They aren't taught skills like budgeting, saving, and financial planning, nor are they taught about the dangers of debt or what a smart financial decision is. Most of these kids typically proceed to graduate high school, get several credit cards, go to college using student loans, impulse buy whatever they want with credit cards, and graduate college with tens, sometimes even hundreds of thousands in debt. They get set up for failure because they never were educated about the predatory nature of lenders and debt and the dangers and hardships of being broke and in debt.
I have been following all of Mr. Ramsey's advice for about a year and a half now and all the techniques I learned from him such as bartering, deal hunting, negotiation and budgeting, have allowed me to amass more wealth than I ever thought I'd have as a teenager. I've been especially fanatical in my following of the no-debt rule. I haven't gotten a credit card nor did I take out a loan for my car. I even actively discourage and educate those around me about the dangers of spending money you don't have.
In following that rule, one of my pillars going into college is that I will not take out a loan to pay for my education. I will not find myself in a situation where the job I work is determined by the debt I have to pay back. I will not allow a situation where my loved ones have to worry about our financial security and stability because I have half my income being siphoned away by student loans and debt. I refuse to shackle myself with debt and poverty for the rest of my life because of the poor financial decisions I made when I was young. Unfortunately, my parents didn't learn any of the financial advice I was so lucky to learn recently when they were young, so I have to pay for college entirely on my own. It's been a rough road so far, but I've been working myself to the bone to earn enough money to pay for the education I need to fulfill my desire to help others escape the chains, traps, and miseries of Western society. Part of my mission in helping people build their lives is to help to educate them about their finances and spending habits, as that is arguably the most important foundation you can have to build the rest of your life off of. It's so important that only after that can I help my patients with everything else such as mental health, physical well-being, social health, and their unique environments and situations.
I deeply hope that you will see how much this scholarship matters to me and choose me as its recipient, but regardless of the outcome I humbly thank you for your time and consideration.
Lieba’s Legacy Scholarship
Hello! My name is Alex. I am an up-and-coming college freshman with a passion for helping people. My dream career is to open a practice where I help people to overcome hurdles in their life and help foster the growth and development needed for them to reach their peak in whatever way they want. I plan to use many perspectives and angles to help improve the lives of my patients, Including; physical health, diet, environmental, social, and mental health from both a Western and an Eastern perspective. I want to approach each of these angles with an open mind and many different treatment options because I know that what works for one person may not work for another.
I find that gifted kids in particular can really struggle with this and can struggle even more to get out of some of their situations.
I'll tell you a brief story about why I want to help people that way.
Growing up I was a gifted kid. I was quite often too smart for my own good, and the people around me really just couldn't understand that I needed to be treated like I was 5 years older. It led to a lot of belittlement, shame, and insecurity in little me's mind.
Even my teachers would very often do the same thing. I remember that my 3rd-grade math teacher was particularly stubborn about the whole thing. So much so that when my mom had finally bugged her enough to do something extra for me, she literally got me a 5th-grade math textbook, gave it to me and said "Here's a 5th-grade math book. Do it." No explanation. No teaching of any sort. Nothing at all.
My life was on a slow decline up until my Freshman year of high school when it took a massive turn for the worst. My friend group that Id had throughout middle school split up, and I was liked by everyone, but not enough to be a true friend to any one person in the group. I quickly fell into depression and my anxiety worsened. I shut down and started to close myself off from the world. Over time, many little events and things built up that would reinforce all my negative ideas of self and my belief that I was better off going invisible. Things like more friends leaving, never being invited to anything outside of school, minor bullying, and above all my own mind. My mind's strength and intellect had been turned against me and was now coming up with logical points as to why I wasn't good enough.
Everything only got worse when COVID hit and I was forced into isolation. I lost all my friends again, and all my motivation to try anything. I fell into misery and got addicted to things like video games, social media, and junk food, which sent my health into a rapid downward spiral.
Every day I'd wish it would all get better. Some days Id even try to change. Those days were always the worst. I would feel so bad for not being able to change it all in a single day. "Im a gifted kid" Id think. "I shouldn't struggle with something as basic as friendships or health". I felt hopeless, worthless, useless. Like everything was pointless. Like I wasn't good enough to live a good life. Like I was incompetent, incapable, inept, and a loser. I would have mental breakdowns daily and beat myself up for them. It was pure anguish, misery, depression, and suffering. It felt like I was forever damned and fundamentally broken and irreparable.
Fast forward to after I found a reason to fight it all, and I've been truly grasping the gravity of how deep my misery was. As well as just how hard it is to change it all, ESPECIALLY on my own. I'm finding out things that I never even considered would be a big problem when I started my journey. Such as the fact that since I was a gifted kid, I always relied on my intellect to solve my problems, so it's very hard for me to actually discern my emotional state at any given time.
I know how bad it was for me to get out of the deep, complicated pit of misery that I found myself in a few years ago, and I want to help those who are in a similar position to what I was in. I know I was lucky to find a reason to push through it all, and I know others won't be so lucky. So I want to be the guiding light, the crucial supporter, and the smiling face that shows them the way when no one else will. I want to help people to not suffer.
Thank you.