The smell of gasoline has been a permanent scent surrounding my childhood. It was the smell I associated with my dad, who was a truck driver. He would often be gone for days leaving my mom, my siblings, and I alone. Whenever I would miss him, I would often go poking around at his worktable, playing with tools that were too big. As I grew older, my dad would often take me with him to help with repairs of whatever needed fixing at the time, either the lawn mower, the car, or even his 18-wheeler. My passion for engineering was not something I knew that I wanted from an early age, it was a gradual development, a slow-burn if you will.
My small school shaped the way I viewed my peers and my plans. The majority of my peers all wanted to pursue agriculture and go to the same school, Texas A&M. So much so that the school cut the engineering program due to the lack of enrollment, leaving me to follow the next best pathway that my school offered, health science. While still in the STEM area, it changed the way I viewed engineering as a whole. Before I viewed engineering as a field that primarily dealt with buildings and bridges when it's really so much more. Engineers and the health field go hand in hand. Especially civil engineers, limiting pollution in cities, minimizing destruction from natural disasters, and promoting exercise through sidewalks and bike lanes. Even though pursuing the health science path was an unexpected detour, it helped me truly appreciate the path I chose and to reassure me that I did not waste years of schooling on health science rather than engineering.
However, trying to choose which type of engineering to major in was one of the hardest choices I’ve had to make. To my family, it seemed to them that I changed my mind every week. From chemical to environmental, I would always second guess myself, always thinking of What If? What if this isn't the field for me? What if there is something better out there? What if I fail? That last one always seemed to make a reappearance at the least desirable moment. We have all heard the phrase, Inspiration comes in the unlikely moments, well mine came in the middle of a cross-country meet. I was almost done with my race and usually I think of how much I’m dying and how I’m almost done with the race. For this particular race, I had an epiphany about how my town has no sidewalks. You might ask why this thought interrupted my mindset, well let me tell you. For cross country practice, we run all over town in order to get mileage. All of our runs include running on the shoulder of roads, but they aren’t very wide. Often, we would have to run in a single file. Having this epiphany in the middle of a race was not ideal that it cost me a medal, but that didn’t matter because I finally knew what type of engineering I wanted to do, civil, and as soon as I got home, I changed my major from chemical engineering, the mindset from the week before, to civil engineering. My parents were so excited that I finally made my choice. I know that this field is for me, no second guessing. While the What ifs still continue, it's up to me to push those boundaries that have held me back both self-imposed and societal. I can only hope that I can leave my mark.