Hearing someone vocalize in the backseat of a car is not necessarily frightening unless no one is there. This experience was my final push to seek help for my mental well-being. Before this psychotic event, I had illogical thoughts and exhibited odd behaviors that my family had noticed. After consulting a Child Psychological Assessor at the age of 17, the idea that I was different from other people became apparent to me. After many cognitive tests, questionnaire booklets, physical exams, and blood work, I was finally diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder. The thought that something was "wrong" with me felt dehumanizing. Due to my fear of being deemed nothing but a "crazy person," I lost hours, even days of precious sleep. Losing my sense of self was the fear that paralyzed me. "I can love! I have humanity! I like music!" I would scream in my mind. The thought that I shared my diagnosis with killers and murderers drove me to such madness. The societal implementation that "Schizophrenic" or "Psychotic" meant evil or psychopathy ruled over my psyche. Of course, I know now that was just the stigma built by people who did not understand. After speaking with a psychiatrist, I learned that many patients lead relatively satisfying lives —given correct medication and routine— and the prefix "Schizo" did not elude insanity. This realization was a great relief to me and inspired me to, instead, channel my irregular thoughts into writing. Fictional horror is my leading genre, inspired by many writers such as Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, and H.P. Lovecraft. Conveying the fears I experience not only relieves me but also gives insight into the Schizophrenic experience. Not only am I limited to horror, but I also write in a plethora of various genres. Since my artistic endeavors, my curiosity has lead me to discover the extensive list of famous Schizophrenics. Seeing the range of careers among schizophrenic people brought me to my final state of acceptance of myself. "I could be a comedian! I could be a musician! I could be an artist, actor, or writer." I pondered the possibilities manifold with glee. I would not be where I am today without the team that supports me. My case manager checks up on me regularly to ensure my well-being between therapy sessions, and my parents and friends encourage me to take my medication. Knowing myself, keeping a consistent routine would be a chore by myself, so I appreciate their help. All schizophrenic people deserve a team as fantastic as mine. However, it saddens me to acknowledge that I am one of the few privileged individuals who have support. Though Schizophrenia affects only 1% of the U.S. population, 20% of the homeless population are diagnosed with Schizophrenia —not including the undiagnosed. Besides the horrible homeless problem regarding Schizophrenics, the public's irrational fear causes unnecessary backlash. Schizophrenic people can empathize, feel emotions, and anything a neurotypical person can do. People fear what they do not understand, and I strive to help change that with my writings. To become a published author of my ideas and wild thoughts would be my dream come true.

My husky, Sasha, was found at a gas station all sad and skinny. I took her home and these are the silliest photos of her! @alanna.morris65