Being ordinary is scary. When you ask someone what they fear, many might respond with spiders, the ocean, heights, confined spaces, and so on. As far as I might be concerned, the possibility of just existing with my passions and interests within my heart without any shot at seeking after them is startling. The possibility of just existing without my dreams being accomplished is genuinely terrifying. In the course of my life, I've simply needed to accomplish a certain something - to motivate people around me. Growing up, I resided in a tiny town where individuals frequently "settled". The possibility of seeking after something past ordinariness is generally derided upon, in light of the fact that it is "unpractical". I need to alter the extremist attitude that many regularly have after seeking after dreams. There is nothing of the sort as incomprehensible, paying little mind to where you are from and what your identity is. Life is too short to simply "settle", why not pursue something that evokes genuine happiness? In the future, I intend to seek the field of reporting/journalism/mass media. I'm presently going to East Central University in Ada, Oklahoma with the craving to move to a bigger school. I need to inspire my enthusiasm for composing, media, and broadcasting in the most ideal way imaginable. I aim to work for News Stations and become a journalist. I need to demonstrate to my small town in Oklahoma that regardless, anything is feasible. Regardless of what your identity is, the place where you're from, or how old you are - your passions matter. I wish to accomplish mine, regardless of what it takes.

I love my nose. You might be thinking, "Your nose? Really? That's it?" And yes, that is it! Although there are many other traits that I love about myself, my nose is one that I've grown to adore over time. I used to withhold a strong hatred for my nose. Whenever I would see myself in photos or in the mirror, I would feel an instant urge of frustration from the largeness I always perceived from it. All my friends had such cute, small button noses and the envy of them was very obvious. At one point in time, I even contemplated saving up for a rhinoplasty surgery. Almost every day I would feel irritated with the size of my nose and wish for it to be smaller. My ancestry consists of Middle Eastern origin; my great great grandfather was born in Syria. Many middle eastern appearance traits consist of more dominate, strongly structured noses. My mother had a very small button nose while my father had a larger, more bulbous nose. I did not get the tiny nose my mother had, but the more structured and larger one from my fathers genetics. When the beauty standard often consists of button noses, it was very difficult to not feel frustrated with what I was given. After many years, I finally have learned to love my larger, more dominate nose. Beauty standards are something created by humans over decades; why should I allow the pericaval of others to define what I love about myself? My nose might be different, but it contains the ancestry and genetics of my family who I am not ashamed of. Although it's taken many years to do, I finally can say that I love my big, bulbous nose and it is by far my favorite trait.

"It is hard to fail, but it is worse to never have tried to succeed." - Theodore Roosevelt I grew up in a very closed, small town in which many often fall for the fear of escaping the idea of being practical. Many individuals with who I grew up often would put aside their dreams and aspirations for the sake of practicality and comfort. The fear of not having a sustainable job, making a decent income, and not being able to provide for oneself is a common factor among many peers that prevent them from doing aspects in their life that they truly yearn for. For myself, I have always aimed for higher goals that go beyond the walls of my small town in Oklahoma. Although there is nothing wrong with the idea of being practical, it is simply not for me. My heart yearns for performing arts, something that simply cannot be done here. I aspire to become an actress and inspire those through the field of art. Fear is something that holds many individuals back, and I will not lie, it often tends to hold me back from time to time as well. However, the quote provided by Theodore Roosevelt is something I often reflect upon in order to overcome my thoughts of anxiety. It can be very scary to try new things and embrace failure, but it is far better to experience life and taking new challenges at hand for the sake of what you aim for. This quote is immensely special to me for the sake of motivation for my dreams. It will for certain not be easy to achieve my goal - I will eventually have to move to a bigger city and start somewhere small. I may audition for a role, and the director might tell me I'm simply "not what they are looking for." I will have to embrace failure from time to time, and although it is inconvenient, it is simply an aspect of life that needs to be accepted. Any obstacle is achievable, and failure is simply a bump in the road that can always be overcome. This quote has provided me with immense motivation and guidance for my future, and even though the future cannot be predicted, I look forward to embracing the challenges of what is to come. It is far better to try and fail than to never try at all.

When I was a Freshman in high school, my life had completely turned upside down from the loss of my stepfather. I was 16 years old when it happened, and at my current age of 19, I still am unable to forget that night and how I lost someone who had always been prominent within my life. I had lost the only father figure I ever knew, and to this day it has greatly impacted my life. I remember coming home late one evening with my mother. We had stayed with my aunt for a few days since I was preparing for a show that my school was hosting, and we both needed to stay with her so she could help with preparations. It was just like any other evening, really. Little did I know, it would be the worst day of my life. My mom and I walked through the doors of our home and saw my stepfather lying on the couch. We immediately assumed he was simply sleeping since it was pretty late, however when my mom spoke to him and tried to wake him up, there was no reaction. That's when the cruel realization hit - he was dead. The man who raised me since I was in Kindergarten, the only father figure I ever had in my life, was gone. I remember my mother screaming, and then I blacked out. The rest of the night is a blur of emotions, but the prominent detail I will always remember is how my world changed so much in just the span of one night. My stepfather was somebody who ventured into my life when I was at a very young age. My real father and my mother had separated when I was very little, so when my stepdad had played the part of a caring figure, he quickly turned into an important role model within my life. He was the superintendent of a small middle school, and many students would often tell me how much of a caring person he was towards everyone. The teachers and workers always admired him, because frankly, his love and care were always immense for each person. No matter what job or position anyone had, everyone had equal importance within his eyes. On the outside, he appeared to be a very humorous and funny boss who loved to joke around with his employees and students. However, he began to battle many demons on the inside as time progressed. He had lost his job when I was in 7th grade, and I remember how the once smiling and humorous man that I always knew had become a hard shell with no emotion. His career meant everything to him, so when he lost that, he developed severe depression. The years progressed, and at times he would appear to get better but would eventually always fall back into a horrid state of sadness. He hardly ever left his chair in the living room. My mother and I constantly tried to bring his spirits up, but sometimes it just isn't enough for someone who has constant demons to battle. As time went on, he just couldn't fight anymore. His depression, sadly, had won. Losing someone and dealing with the state of grief is never an easy task to bear. To this day, I am never going to fully heal from losing my stepfather and having to slowly see him lose his life to his depression. When I think of my stepdad and his struggles, I think often about mental illnesses and how they can truly affect a person's livelihood. One of the most important things he always told me growing up was the importance of education. He primarily worked within a school, so he always made sure to express to me that learning and growing are vital in everyone's life. I have never forgotten this, and I am currently a Freshman in college with the dreams of obtaining a bachelor's degree. There have been many days where I contemplate my desires and what I wish to achieve in my life, and I often reflect on his words and what he taught me while growing up. If I am going to "fight" and achieve anything in my life, it is for certain completing my education and bringing more awareness to the topic of mental illness. The issue of mental illnesses for certain needs to be taken far more seriously. Unrecognizing these signs can lead to the loss of someone, which from my experience, is life-changing. My stepdad has provided me with immense motivation to complete my education and bring more awareness to these issues involving mental illnesses and suicide. The best motivation I have in life is my stepfather, and I am fighting to make him proud.

For myself, mental illness has been a consistent struggle I've faced within my lifetime. Around the age of 13 was when the start of the many issues began. During this time, my step-father had lost his job and had experienced horrid depression from it. He began to drink constantly. I always remembered him sitting in a small chair in our living room for hours upon hours. Sadly, the depression had consumed him, and he passed away when I was at the age of 16. I encountered many difficulties with having to witness someone close to my heart struggle and eventually fail due to their mental illness. Not only was it horrible to see, but it also created many demons in which I still have to encounter today. I still struggle immensely with my depression and anxiety. It is an everyday battle in which I have to encounter, but I know I have to be strong for my family and those who do care for me. These experiences are by no means fun or easy to deal with, however, they are very prominenet teaching lessons for myself. Through this hardships that I have faced, I know how to recognize signs and express sympathy for others who may be going through what my step-father and I have dealt with. At the end of the day, I have developed a much more appreciated outlook on life. Although I still deal with thoughts and negative ideaologies, they are simply temporary and do improve over time. I only wish to inspire those around me and show that no matter what you go through, life does improve. Harming yourself is never, ever the answer. There are so many individuals in this world you have yet to meet, and who also love you more than you could imagine. If you are going through a rough patch with mental illness, please reach out to those around you for help. You are loved and important; never forget that.