For a while, I didn't think I was a survivor or victim of domestic violence because, I am here today writing this and others did not have the fortune to survive their circumstances. I use to struggle with how I was raised and what to call it, because my mother was emotionally and physically abusive to me which has altered my cognitive development and the ways I interact with the world. When I was depressed as a result of this treatment, it was often followed up with "Depression isn't a thing" or "What are you depressed about? You don't have kids or a job". My feelings were often not considered. Others never saw this or knew this about me while I was going to school because, to many abuse is meant to be seen, but how could I show them what I suffered mentally? Or explain that my mother made sure not to hit me hard enough for there to be bruising. My elementary school didn't find it odd that I came in with a black eye as it was said I was playing rough with my older sibling, I was 5 at the time. No one knew, and I didn't tell anyone because she also constantly told me not to tell anybody "our business". My aim was to make her happy with my academics in hopes that she would stop reaching for the belt whenever I came home with anything less than a 90. During the transition into middle school, something in me changed and I stopped defending her actions against me, which resulted in more punishment. She also managed to convince me that at 11 I needed to be on a diet, as she was constantly trying weight-loss teas and other remedies for weight loss, which eventually ended with her forcing me to drink diluted bleach water because it was "good for my immune system". With her passing in 2020, I was saddened as I had lost my mother, but I felt immense relief. I felt free. I could be myself, and then I realized, in trying to stop her from harming me and becoming what she wanted, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do with my life since my goal was to please her. I felt stuck. Mental health is a huge factor that needs to be talked about more in the African American community especially against women. We face different kinds of abuse everyday even in the work place including harassment, comments such as "You should smile more", or comments towards our natural hair. When something goes on for a long time, you unconsciously become use to it and stop fighting it, which is what happened with myself and my mother after a while. When she fell ill with cancer, she became the sweetest and passive person. That's the only indicator I had to know she was worsening in her diagnosis because I could hardly recognize her and at some point, I missed when she would yell at me and longed for it. I missed the cycle I was so use to. With people speaking up more about the normalized abusive measures seen in African American households in specific using the belt to harm the child, punishments with denial of food or forcing children to eat when they are full, we lessen the need for therapeutic measures and the eventual stopping of all communication once in early adulthood/post-college. We wouldn't have as much African American adults being treated for clinical depression, anxiety, or continuing the cycle of trauma.

I give back to my community by becoming a mentor to it. I have recently been accepted into Teach for America for the New York region and my reasoning behind applying is to give back to the low-income community that helped raise me; Brownsville,NY. I want to give back to the younger students of color in supporting their dreams in a society that it catered against them especially seen through the school to prison pipeline. One of my previous mentors and now paternal figure assisted my greatly during my rough time in high school towards the transition into COVID-19 and quarantine measures of learning at home. During that time, I was struggling with my sick single-mother and felt as though things would never get better and I was in a depressive episode for months. He often pulled me back after class to check in on how I was, as Jamaican student, my household and background isn't as receptive to mental health as others and he recognized that I was struggling. He was also present when my mother passed which was a difficult time since I was 17 at the time. He showed me that teachers can be the best motivators there. He often told me that I am here to make a difference for others and to set the bar for others. I ended up graduating from high school as the salutatorian with a 4.0 GPA and an acceptance to DePauw University as a Posse Scholar. I realized in that moment that, I want to be a teacher and I pursued this field, hence the application and acceptance into TFA because I want to give back. I know that there are students struggling similarly to how I was, in ways that most people don't even recognize specifically for those with neurodiverse needs specifically Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, and students who are struggling with depression, anxiety, and any other disadvantages on the DSM-5 scale. With the current climate including the political, the rise of global warming, climate change issues, and understanding that constantly as a society we are undergoing historical events constantly; overturning of Roe v Wade, COVID-19 pandemic, rapidly increasing inflation rates, and Donald Trump indicted, we need people to care for people, empathy, and sympathy. I plan to be an educator who actually cares for the students needs, understanding that home life may be difficult, or dealing with other stressors in their life while ensuring they receive their education and the best at that. Black people specifically have been seen to struggle with test-scores and overall struggling within the educational field and I wish to cater to that as a Black woman. We are racially profiled daily if not through harmful acts of colorism and through that bullying in the school system, hair "appropriate" work attire, rampant racism and overall systemic oppression, it is tiring. It is stressful, and the next generation needs more people to advocate and b e a voice for them in the education system. I refuse to be kept down in a world that often puts down Black people and I wish to uplift the Black youths so they understand they have a place in the world, specially in positions of high power when we are constantly denied rights. To me, it starts with teachings and the type of education they receive. I will teach through nurturing the students are ensuring they are entertained because students work best when they are engaged in what they enjoy whilst staying on track for state-testing and the curriculum.

My mother was a lot of things. She was a single parent, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a colleague, but at the end of the day she was my mother. I lost her on July 4th 2020 after her 2 year battle with cancer that later spread to her lungs. Losing her redefined my life for the better and the worst but after four years I am in a better place than where I first was as a result of the support of friends and family. Losing her made me realize two things about the sheltered life I had been living. One being, life is quick and death is inevitable, two being-- humans need humans. It was so easy to lock out everyone and cry all day and night. Who wouldn't? Nothing changed within the apartment, all of her things were still around, her room still smelled like her, and the groove of her body was still in the mattress. The only thing that had changed was that, she would never come back to those things, which led to a massive clean-up and renovation to create a space with less of her and more of a way to honor her. Loss is heartbreaking no matter the scale but especially for a close family member or loved one. I've learned to focus on the now portion of my life and to stop planning so far ahead using bullet points and precision. Life isn't about precision. Everything happens, and sometimes for no reason and most times randomly. I tell those I am closest to I love them constantly; whenever I talk to my sister weekly or my brother monthly, even my boyfriend nightly. I know my mother loved me and she knew how much I loved her and that is where I lay it to rest. The thing with loss and mourning is that, life continues. It stopped for me for a while like many others, but it goes on for others as though nothing happened and it was one of the hardest things I've ever been through in my life to lose my mother at a young age, but now I fight for everything especially the things I want. I have to keep fighting because that's what she would've wanted. I keep fighting everyday with all I have to continue to honor all the hard work and effort she put in making me an upstanding person today. She was everything to me and the opportunity to be given this scholarship will help me to continue to honor her legacy in my life.

I am passionate in early childhood education because it marks the beginning moments of making a change in someone's life who will before we know it, be in charge of the real working world. Early childhood is a critical period for cognitive, social, emotional, and physical development. Working in this field can be incredibly rewarding and fulfilling, especially to be able to later see these students grow and blossom into something more than what they started with. When I was in elementary school from what I can remember, I was surrounded by love from one of my teachers, Ms. Rogers. I'm not sure where she is now in life, but I hope she is well. But she was a heavy influence on my life and the way I want to teach others. Learning should be fun and learning should include love. Early childhood education is paramount due to its profound impact on shaping the trajectory of a child's life. This critical phase lays the foundation for all future learning, development, and success. During these formative years, children absorb knowledge, develop essential skills, and form crucial social and emotional competencies that serve as building blocks for their future endeavors. Quality early childhood education programs provide stimulating environments where children can explore, experiment, and engage in hands-on learning experiences tailored to their developmental needs. Moreover, early education fosters a love for learning, cultivates curiosity, and instills important values such as empathy, respect, and cooperation. Investing in early childhood education not only benefits individual children but also yields long-term societal benefits, including higher academic achievement, reduced dropout rates, lower crime rates, and improved economic productivity. By ensuring all children have access to high-quality early childhood education, we can lay the groundwork for a brighter, more equitable future for generations to come. My main passion within early childhood education stems from giving each child a change to thrive and succeed. Not everyone child works the same way nor learns the same way, and that shouldn't be seen as bad, different, nor an obstacle. It can be a challenge altering lesson plans for ones learning but that's what makes it so much more rewarding. In a way, you could change the world and the structure of education for a child and start a deeper understanding that the world is not black and white. Changes need to be made, changes can be made, and so many people including myself whom are so passionate in early childhood education can make this change and advocate for this change. I was taught the same way as other students-- word problems on a white board, randomly diagnostic tests to see where we were at on content, and overall learning with other children and developing essential skills in working with others. However, I am more of a hands-on learner. I always wanted to have days where I was able to interact with objects in order to learn. It also didn't help that I wore glasses with worsening vision like never before and always had to sit in front to see the board. But it doesn't always have to be that way. I am passionate about early childhood education because I want to give children a memorable educational experience. I want them to have fun, I want them to be risky in what they try, and I just want them to try.

Being both a child and a grandchild of immigrants, there was one motto in my household "Do onto others what you want onto you", essentially treating others the way you wish to be treated. Both my late mother and grandmother are Caribbean immigrants from Jamaica, there voyages to the United States were both for better opportunities for themselves and their family. My mother worked very hard for myself and my siblings to be able to obtain a good education and to not go through what she had. Which, is a long line of facing homelessness after emigration, dealing with multiple relocations, doors slammed in her face, and overall lack of support from immediate family members. When my late mother came to America, she was alone. She use to tell me about her stories of first coming here when she had to sleep on a park bench for most nights after work where she would volunteer to help the elderly. She pushed herself to go through nursing school and became an LPN and before her untimely departure, managed to pay off her student debt and loans she took out as a result of giving her children a better opportunity than she did. It was, and it is hard being a child of immigrants. The bar is so much more higher than it is for everyone else. I don't have the safety net if I fail. While failure has been deconstructed as something to not be afraid of, I am always afraid of failure because I see it as being homeless on a park bench like my mother. In elementary school whenever I'd receive an 80% on a test, my mother's immediate response was never "congratulations" or "I'm so proud of you", it was "Where did you lose the other points?". She wanted perfection or near that and I went through schooling aiming to make her proud in whatever I did. When she passed away in 2020 from metastatic cancer, I was mentally and physically checked out. Everything was different, and I was so angry. All that work she had put in and she wasn't able to witness the fruits of her labor nor watch me walk across the stage at my high school graduation as the Salutatorian. Within my speech, I included my gratitude towards her. My childhood was tough, believe me I am still unlearning a lot within attending bi-weekly therapy appointments and monthly psychiatrist appointments. But I am ahead. I graduated from high school as the top 1% of my peers, received a full tuition scholarship under the Posse Foundation to attend DePauw University, and I have just received my fourth internship due to the way I was raised and the how high the bar has been set for me. Though she is gone only in spirit, I will continue to make her proud in my academic achievements and striving to obtain higher educational opportunities that she wasn't fortunate to have. If I could walk around in someone's shoes for one day, it would've been hers. My mother was a beloved nurse by her coworkers and her patients as she worked on an HIV/AIDS unit at Brookdale Hospital. After all the challenges she had faced, she still had so much good in her heart to give to those who needed it. She rose above as her hardships hardened her. I'm proud of the person she was while alive not just as her child, but as a young-adult looking back on all that she has done. In the moment, it felt like too much, honestly I wish I had more.

I major in Education at DePauw University and disability along with disability studies is a growing and popular topic within its realms. I've been given the opportunity of a life time to work and live with children high and low on the spectrum in Rhinebeck, NY as a Arts Therapist Counselor for 10 weeks for a psychological internship. One of the biggest challenges was that, aside from training, I wasn't ever exposed to the behaviors on the spectrum while also being on the spectrum. At the camp, I was able to create differing lesson plans for all individuals attending the arts center. The alteration of the lesson plans was a first for me but also a big leap in the work I strive to achieve in the future. When many like myself think of disability, I immediately think of being wheel-chair bond when that isn't always the case, but in most cases it can be in mobility, which is my main focus. I wish to share light on that in the classroom settings and future jobs working in education that, not everyone learns the same way and that is not a crime.

From a tender age, the shadows of mental health cast their weight upon my shoulders. As a young black girl navigating the labyrinth of emotions, the struggle with thoughts of suicide became an unwelcome companion. This journey, though daunting, has shaped my beliefs, relationships, and aspirations in profound ways. My suicidal thoughts have started from middle school when I truly dealt with bullying as seen in movies and it severely lowered my self-esteem. When my mother passed away when I was 17 years old, those thoughts only grew as I was applying to colleges on my own. Prior to college, I never spoke up when I had these thoughts about ending my life because I believed they were normal and in the slight chance they weren’t, I wouldn’t want to come off as weak. Beliefs, once naive and simplistic, morphed into a nuanced understanding of the human psyche. My struggles illuminated the importance of mental well-being, dismantling stigmas that often shroud discussions within the black community. I now firmly believe that addressing mental health is not a sign of weakness but a testament to resilience. Relationships, initially strained by the invisible chains of despair, underwent transformation. Through vulnerability and shared experiences, bonds with family and friends strengthened. I discovered the healing power of open conversations and the importance of a supportive community. My journey inspired those around me to break the silence surrounding mental health, fostering a culture of empathy and understanding. Aspirations, once clouded by the darkness of despair, now shine with a renewed sense of purpose. The struggles I faced ignited a passion to advocate for mental health awareness, particularly within minority communities. My aspirations extend beyond personal success, aiming to create a world where no young black girl feels isolated in her battle against mental health challenges. In conclusion, my journey with mental health, though marked by hardship, has become a testament to resilience, empathy, and advocacy. It has shaped my beliefs, strengthened my relationships, and fueled aspirations that extend far beyond personal ambitions. As a young black girl, I stand not only as a survivor but as a beacon of hope, determined to contribute to a society where mental well-being is a shared priority.

My name is Ajmaani Whitter. My favorite nickname is AJ. I'm currently a junior attending DePauw University with a major in Educational Studies. I won't lie and say teaching has always been my passion, I don't think I generally ever had a career passion, but more of a moral obligation. I felt I needed to help people, in whatever ways I could. For a while, I thought I would become a nurse like my late mother and help the sick, but after having to witness her leave this life in front of me, I realized I didn't have the specific emotional detachment that is needed for jobs in medicine as I've never lost someone so close to me, especially at the age of 17. But this might become a regular especially since I wanted to work with the elderly. Teaching currently is a huge part of my academic drive and partially the reason why I wake up in the morning. The majority of early school teaching was in low-income neighborhoods which makes sense as I am an Afro-Carribean woman. My teachers would either get too impatient or not teach certain topics as a result of the class not being able to digest the content as efficiently as they would've wanted. This also leads to my passion, a lot of classes I've taken are surrounding critical thinking and referring to those who came before us such as Karl Marx or Althusser, and their ways of thinking. I feel I have the drive to be a proper teacher like my music teacher in fourth grade and the way he made an effort to get to know his students. He even had a parent-teacher relationship with my late mother where he would ask how her day was going. He didn't have to, no other teacher does, but he did. I want that kind of relationship with my future students. A huge part of teaching that is overlooked is that teachers need to have a relationship with the students because that is a huge part of their ability to take in knowledge in the classroom. I want my future students to feel not only confident that I can teach them, but that they can learn. It pushes my other drive in wanting to teach those with special needs -- those high and low on the spectrum and those who are disabled in any way.

Hardships to me, are like the character development in everyone's lives whether you want it or not. As a result of said hardships, our previous persons are altered forever. We have the choice of how we face these hardships and how we overcome them. I have dealt with hardships as early on in my life as I can remember. Some of them were very minor such as being a late bloomer as my mother would call it as I didn't enjoy academics as much as my siblings when I was a child, or being the only sibling to have been suspended from school due to behavioral issues, which I promise wasn't as bad as it seems. Some of the bigger hardships I have faced/facing is the passing of my late mother in 2020 when I was freshly 17 years old, due to metastatic ovarian cancer with complications involving COVID-19. I was very dependent on my mother, not only her being a single parent and me not knowing who my father was, but my mother was one of my best friends. I went to her with everything and she came to me with everything. My relationship with her was closer than it was with my other siblings. My mother passing away gave me significant problems including depression, anxiety, and a heightened identity crisis. I didn't know who I was without her as losing her meant losing a part of myself, and that is exactly what it felt like. Losing her meant a load of hardships during the start of my junior year of high school. I had to begin applying to colleges, filling out my FAFSA, and learn how to exist without her and her unconditional support, both emotionally and financially. My mother's death served as a forceful reminder to live life to the fullest and to tell people who you love, every day, that you love them. I told my mother I loved her the night before she passed and while other mistakes gnaw at me daily, this one doesn't, because I know she died knowing I loved her and that she loved me. I continued my education despite her passing and my lack of motivation. I overcame my obstacles in applying for colleges by joining BottomLine, a program that helps tremendously in the college application process. I had nominated myself to join sometime during my sophomore ear during COVID-19 as I had a feeling I would lose my mother as I did my schoolwork and witnessed her get worse as the days went by. During that time also, I was both a student and a caregiver to her during her two-year time of sickness. My late mother was a nurse, she only had her high school diploma and went to trade school to become a nurse to support her family. She often told me about the complications in her life as a result of not going to college before she came to this country. For example, being homeless for 2 years and having to sleep on park benches, dealing with infidelity from my father whom I've never met, and dealing with continuing her education to support herself. Continuing my education and having the funds to do so is important to me for those reasons. I love my mother, but she has raised me to know not to end up like her and in her situations. Everything I do, my accomplishments, successes, and continuing my education is for her. I do it for myself clearly but, they are to honor her memory, a passion for education.

Currently, I am an independent Black student attending DePauw University, a known Predominantly White Institute in Greencastle, Indiana. I am attending the school only because I was able to receive the Posse Scholarship which offers me incredible benefits including paying my tuition. I do, however, have to take out loans to pay for textbooks, dorm supplies, and room and board. My mother recently died and my financial situation previously was dependent on her as I was a child, now I am learning to manage things such as these on my own as a young adult. I have been learning how to budget from numerous budgeting workshops offered online and by my school. My great-grant aunt is also helping me in paying for college but, in order to get a decent education in my situation I will need to eventually take out more loans as I plan to achieve my Ph.D. in education. As a minority and a woman, and a student without many resources to get diagnosed with mental illnesses I have shown signs of, earning a higher education to better improve my career choices is a necessity as the odds have been stacked against me from birth as I also come from a low-income neighborhood. Being in a low-income neighborhood and attending high-risk schools (schools that are close to shutting down, lack staffing, and/or low academic performance), I did not learn as much as I could during my elementary-high school learning career and can see a disadvantage as I am in college now and am behind significantly. Paying off my student loans is the only option for me and I plan to do so in as many ways that are possible and presented to me. I am currently saving from my on-campus work-study as a studio assistant and will be applying to another work-study job in the fall. I am choosing currently not to have an off-campus job as I know I will not be able to juggle both school and work and that it is a fault I accept as not everyone can do it and I do not want my academic career to suffer because I don't recognize what I can and cannot handle. my family has a saying "don't bite off more than you can chew", the sentence can come off as humorous but if you were to do as the sentence states, one would choke. I do not want to choke when it comes to my education.

Mental health has always been a huge part of my life as I come from a culture that does not fully share understanding or belief in mental health. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for as long as I could remember alongside with undiagnosed ADHD and Autism. Mental health is a huge part of our world today and is represented in today's media, music, and art. My mental health was ignored for the majority of my life as my family did not share my same ideas about mental health in a more progressive light. I grew up with "toughen up", "deal with it", and "why are you so sensitive?". I was always labeled "the sad one" in my previous friendships as I was, always down or crying about how frustrated I was that no one would help me in understanding my inner self and why I functioned so differently from others. I suffered from suicidal thoughts that began during middle school. I brushed this off as I was told by my environment that those thoughts were because I was a "growing, hormonal teen", which could've been logical reasoning if it had not prolonged into my college career. I currently receive therapy as I want to better myself and my life. My symptoms being ignored for most of my life had harmed my mental health severely as I began to ignore my own warning signs of distress. I never use to have beliefs or very strong ones, today, I follow a moral code to "Do More Good than Harm, and Help All Those Suffering and Not". The majority of my friendships are with those who have undiagnosed mental illnesses as we are Black and our indicators for mental distress are often not researched enough on. And my friends' experiences with mental health and lack of resources lead me on the path to education and teaching minorities with Special Needs in low-income neighborhoods and lack of resources to better their life as I had to fight and struggle to better my own. Mental health resources for low-income individuals are a need that is hard to come by and in horrible case scenarios without help and resources, can lead to things including suicide. I lost a close friend to suicide back in 2018 and his death changed me forever and motivated me to get the help I needed no matter what because though it may feel like a solution, it isn't. I wish I could've assisted him in getting the help he needed but I strive to help others who are in his situation by getting out of it. Becoming in tune with my mental health along with others has also strengthened my relationships with others by valuing communication rather than silence and speaking up whenever I am feeling a certain way in any situation. Learning how to communicate my feelings has been a challenge in my life that I am overcoming as we speak and I wish to share my methods and advice with others who struggle in my situation or situations similar. We're all human, and we all deserve the resources to live a better, healthier life. We all have value.

During the heat of the COVID-19 pandemic, I lost my mother after her two-year battle with metastatic ovarian cancer with COVID-19-related complications. My mother was a single parent who raised me and my sister. I never met my father nor do I know him now, I only had my mother. My mother was a nurse at Brookdale's Nursing Home in Brooklyn. Her loss was very traumatizing to me as I had never lost such a close family member before nor did I think I would lose her so soon. I recall when she passed, I went through severe depressive states as all I could think about was that, her life had ended and mine had barely just begun as I hadn't even graduated from high school yet and she would not be present to see this, nor would she see me graduate from university. Her death made me realize just how short life actually is, though we never truly think about it. I live life to the fullest as much as I can now and let others know that I love and appreciate them, including friends, close mentors, and other family members who reached out after hearing she had passed so suddenly. Though I was stricken with grief, I persevered and graduated in the top 1% of my graduating class as the salutatorian and become a Posse Scholar at DePauw University. Her loss made me want to "fight" for myself and not to give up even though at the time it seemed useless with her gone from my life. I continue to fight for myself and to improve my own educational status as my mother was not a college graduate though she prided herself on putting mine and my sister's education first so we would not have to undergo similar struggles as she did when she first came to the United States from Jamaica.

A specific situation in which I had to draw on my Caribbean heritage to overcome a challenge was the passing of my late mother. My mother was a single parent for me and my older sister for the entirety of my life. I never knew nor met my father and my mother was all I had for the entirety of my life with the occasional great-grandparent. She passed away from metastatic ovarian cancer on July 4th, 2020, and was diagnosed two years prior when I had just started my sophomore year of high school. When she passed, I had just recently completed my junior year of high school and during the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. I was stricken with grief from both situations and unable to do my regular every day including eating, sleeping, and overall taking proper care of myself as I had done before. My family is dominant Jamaican from Kingston and Manchester. During my grievance period, I made a realization that had saved my life truly. During this period of intense grief, I pushed everyone away and had no motivation to do anything. I remembered my culture during this time, and our motto "Out of Many, One People". The meaning for this basically is that, we are better when together and stronger rather than when we are separated and weaker. My mother raised me in our rich culture as she was born and raised in Montego Bay, Jamaica. This moment is an inspiration for future generations as, at one point or another in everyone's life, there is turmoil for whatever reason. During these periods, it is almost a reflex for some but for many Jamaicans to push others away; more so for my generation than others due to our strict childhood environments. I want to give back to my community of Jamaican-Americans that is it okay to reach out, to feel vulnerable, and to overall feel not okay, but to also learn to rely on others as we are a people together regardless of differences. My mother was a nurse, who had a passion to help others, especially the sick. I have that shared passion with her for helping others, but helping those academically rather than sickly. Academics of those who have lost a parent are statistically shown to decrease due to emotional distress, lack of resources, and the overall giant change in their life. My mother's passing inspired me in a sense as, though I wasn't doing well mentally or emotionally due to the sudden change, I graduated from my high school as the first Posse Scholar in the last nine years and top 1% of my graduating class of 250 as salutatorian. I would not have been able to do this without relying upon and reaching out to others during my time of need and I want others to learn that it is okay and necessary to let other people in.