I thought that my achievements on paper were enough... That was not the case. It doesn't matter how many ap classes I took or how many activities I participated in, or my GPA, college is still expensive. I was so naive thinking that I'd be out of state in a 4-year school. I chose a state school instead to save money and encounter little to no debt. My financial aid package was not what I'd thought it'd be. I'm cutting corners on all of my expenses by staying with my mom (who's a single parent to two other children), commuting with public transportation, and rejecting meal plans. I still have to pay for my car note and car insurance every month equalling around $700 a month and I make roughly around $1,200. It's not like I drive the newest or flashiest vehicle either. Living in the suburbs with a lack of transportation I am unable to be without a vehicle, but if I could go without I would. I am stressed financially. I've been working an average of around 33 hours a week since the beginning of my senior year and slowly saving up, but things aren't working out as expected. Last July I moved out of my childhood home into an apartment with my family however it is very uncomfortable and overcrowded. Recently we've had many infections and have been in violation of petty offenses. There has been speculation of the building about to be sold and the terminating of leases to increase rent. I try to help in any way I can but I always end up being pulled in many directions. That's why receiving any sort of support in my college journey financially would benefit myself to not have to worry about big expense,

Every day was the same. I woke up at 6 am way before the school day started and did the work I didn't finish the night before. Started school at 8:24 until 3:07 then practiced from 3:30-6 pm. Arrive home shower and napped until around 8:30 ,eat dinner ,and start the homework and then sleep from 11 until 6. This was the fall semester of my junior year. Focused and driven knowing that this was the final year before transcripts were sent to colleges I had hoped to attend. I had worked so hard. That semester I had 4 ap classes and an honors class, no study hall/advisory period. I had achieved a 4.7 GPA that semester and stayed fully committed to the boy's varsity wrestling team and scholastic bowl team. Just identifying as a cis-gendered young woman on the boy's wrestling team was already an accomplishment. I had pushed my body to different levels of strength and changed my thinking from cant's to possibly, if not then maybe later. I was ulItimately winning in almost all the areas of my life. I couldn't believe how good my grades and mental state were. I don't think I've ever been that stable in my teenage years. However, my greatest was not enough for my family. The more time I spent out of the house and away from them the more they made conspiracies about where my whereabouts were and what was I doing and who I was with. There was a complete lack of trust within the home. I thought that I was doing everything right I was on top of my schoolwork and committed full time to an extracurricular and that was not enough, it'll never be enough. In their minds they convinced themselves I was not actually at practice or meets , just being promiscuous. I really couldn't believe it when all the proof of my work was there. That is when I decided I had enough of people pleasing and wanting recognition. At that time in my life I had been people-pleasing for 17 years roughly my success was almost solely driven on people I valued highly seeing me do well without the help because no one was home. I learned that it couldn't have been solely based on what others thought of me. I've never really craved recognition I always wanted to stay in the shadows and be humble. However, my support system did not like that I played small , but in the same breath would criticize how I spent my time. It was a double edged sword a perpetual cycle of being uplifted and degraded. I've now learn since then to just show up for myself It is the greatest gift I could give myself. When I show up for myself great things happen. I got my first job, made the down payment on my car (before I even got my license.) In the future without the sense to serve others ,in a damaging way, I hope to achieve a better sense of self and recognizing my needs . They don;t always have to come first but they at least need to be a priority.

My light shines brighter in Academics. I've never been the most athletic, competitive, or decisive; but I've always been able to and had the willingness to learn. In an academic setting, I have the control, I can set my own bar and pass it thrice because I know what I'm capable of. Pursuing higher education at this moment would allow me to expand my horizons of knowledge than what is taught in the common core curriculum. I'm interested in knowing more about things/events I didn't know I needed to know more about. My current goal in education is to teach others in the way that others have taught me. Making education accessible by adding humor and simplifying concepts that may be overwhelming to learn from a textbook. At this current moment, all I do is work. The way that my job functions...I do not have a consistent schedule to juggle much else that needs a consistent time commitment. I'm willing to try anything. I have tried my year on a chess team, and JV volleyball. I loved my time on the field playing soccer, there I received all my flowers for being fast and explosive. In my Junior year right before the pandemic I pushed myself completely out of my comfort zone and competed on a Varsity level boys wrestling team. That was when I learned about dedication and what my body could become and do. However, I wasn't competitive or comfortable with my newfound strength so I felt out of place. I was most consistent with the scholastic bowl even if I didn't know much of the answers I fell in love with how other people's minds stored so much information even if it was mundane and boring. Currently, I'm most passionate about rediscovering the outdoors and my love for reading books that are not a part of a curriculum. I can't even recollect how many days I've spent outside, by choice in high school. Over the years I've collected so many books and probably read 2 up until this year. Reading has opened the doors for interest in politics, as I have shifted away from the world of politics because it's muddy and complex; artificial intelligence, discrimination, mental well-being, and the Earth's well-being. I also am very passionate about having face-to-face real human connections. I deleted some of my social medias that my brain was addicted to, to just slow down and enjoy the world and people around me without the constant need for validation and whatnot.