"Based on everything I've heard today, I can diagnose you with Anorexia nervosa. I recommend you start treatment immediately." My throat tightened as I tried to hold back tears that threatened to paint my cheeks with their tracks. "I don't need any help. Sometimes I just skip a meal or two." I managed to croak out. This proved a blatant lie. The weeks of allowing myself only an apple a day, of running miles a day despite my weakening heart, and my fainting incidents displayed themselves on my ever-shrinking frame. My struggles with mental illness, in particular disordered eating, prove difficult to pinpoint to a singular moment. Throughout my childhood, I exhibited warning signs of depression and challenges with food. However, the climax of my battle with Anorexia displayed itself in high school. I strutted into sophomore year determined to change myself for the best. I focused all my attention on wearing the cutest clothes, growing the healthiest hair, and maintaining the perfect body. While the extreme expectations I placed on myself led to a strong sense of control, my physical and mental health began to deteriorate. And so, 3 months later and 4 pant sizes smaller, I wound up at the Emily Program for my first day of treatment. My time at treatment taught me so much about myself and the debilitating effects of mental illness. During my time at the Emily Program, I continued to face my greatest fear daily, despite how excruciating it may have been. Through this struggle, however, I realized how much courage and perseverance individuals with mental health issues exhibit daily, just by living. Countless times during my experience, I lacked any motivation to continue living. However, through the help of specialists and therapists, I discovered my real self again. My mental illness proves just that: an illness. My eating disorder is not a choice nor something that I deserved. The challenges I’ve faced due to my mental health has opened my eyes to how important it is that the stigma surrounding mental health be demolished. Through my story, I hope to do just that. Through my struggles, I regained my motivation and hope for the future. After treatment, I discovered how grateful I am for the supportive individuals I am surrounded with. Ultimately, I discovered the beauty of living. While Anorexia blazed a trail full of hurt, suffering, tears, and death, my recovery continues to tell a tale of resilience, strength, support, love, and life.

"Based on everything I've heard today, I can diagnose you with Anorexia nervosa. I recommend you start treatment immediately." My throat tightened as I tried to hold back tears that threatened to paint my cheeks with their tracks. "I don't need any help. Sometimes I just skip a meal or two." I managed to croak out. This proved a blatant lie. The weeks of allowing myself only an apple a day, of running miles a day despite my weakening heart, and my fainting incidents displayed themselves on my ever-shrinking frame. My struggles with mental illness, in particular disordered eating, prove difficult to pinpoint to a singular moment. Throughout my childhood, I exhibited warning signs of depression and challenges with food. However, the climax of my battle with Anorexia displayed itself in high school. I strutted into sophomore year determined to change myself for the best. I focused all my attention on wearing the cutest clothes, growing the healthiest hair, and maintaining the perfect body. While the extreme expectations I placed on myself led to a strong sense of control, my physical and mental health began to deteriorate. And so, 3 months later and 4 pant sizes smaller, I wound up at the Emily Program for my first day of treatment. My time at treatment taught me so much about myself and the debilitating effects of mental illness. During my time at the Emily Program, I continued to face my greatest fear daily, despite how excruciating it may have been. Through this struggle, however, I realized how much courage and perseverance individuals with mental health issues exhibit daily, just by living. Countless times during my experience, I lacked any motivation to continue living. However, through the help of specialists and therapists, I discovered my real self again. My mental illness proves just that: an illness. My eating disorder is not a choice nor something that I deserved. The challenges I’ve faced due to my mental health has opened my eyes to how important it is that the stigma surrounding mental health be demolished. Through my story, I hope to do just that. Through my struggles, I regained my motivation and hope for the future. After treatment, I discovered how grateful I am for the supportive individuals I am surrounded with. Ultimately, I discovered the beauty of living. While Anorexia blazed a trail full of hurt, suffering, tears, and death, my recovery continues to tell a tale of resilience, strength, support, love, and life.

"Based on everything I've heard today, I can diagnose you with Anorexia nervosa. I recommend you start treatment immediately." My throat tightened as I tried to hold back tears that threatened to paint my cheeks with their tracks. "I don't need any help. Sometimes I just skip a meal or two." I managed to croak out. This proved a blatant lie. The weeks of allowing myself only an apple a day, of running miles a day despite my weakening heart, and my fainting incidents displayed themselves on my ever-shrinking frame. My struggles with mental illness, in particular disordered eating, prove difficult to pinpoint to a singular moment. Throughout my childhood, I exhibited warning signs of depression and challenges with food. However, the climax of my battle with Anorexia displayed itself in high school. I strutted into sophomore year determined to change myself for the best. I focused all my attention on wearing the cutest clothes, growing the healthiest hair, and maintaining the perfect body. While the extreme expectations I placed on myself led to a strong sense of control, my physical and mental health began to deteriorate. And so, 3 months later and 4 pant sizes smaller, I wound up at the Emily Program for my first day of treatment. My time at treatment taught me so much about myself and the debilitating effects of mental illness. During my time at the Emily Program, I continued to face my greatest fear daily, despite how excruciating it may have been. Through this struggle, however, I realized how much courage and perseverance individuals with mental health issues exhibit daily, just by living. Countless times during my experience, I lacked any motivation to continue living. However, through the help of specialists and therapists, I discovered my real self again. My mental illness proves just that: an illness. My eating disorder is not a choice nor something that I deserved. The challenges I’ve faced due to my mental health has opened my eyes to how important it is that the stigma surrounding mental health be demolished. Through my story, I hope to do just that. Through my struggles, I regained my motivation and hope for the future. After treatment, I discovered how grateful I am for the supportive individuals I am surrounded with. Ultimately, I discovered the beauty of living. While Anorexia blazed a trail full of hurt, suffering, tears, and death, my recovery continues to tell a tale of resilience, strength, support, love, and life.