As someone with ASD, I have always been emotionally sensitive, and that sensitivity has shaped how deeply I empathize with others, especially when I see someone struggling and feel unable to help. I am often the first to offer support when I notice someone needs it. The only issue is that sometimes it’s very difficult to ask for help. In my experience, particularly among the men around me, asking for help is still uncommon, and meaningful support often feels difficult to access. Sometimes, helping someone is not about what you say, but about what you allow them to say. You can say the issue is society, and that is a big chunk of it. But individuals also need to develop the skills to ask for help, and that’s the other half of it. From my own experience and from listening to other men in my life, I have noticed how difficult it can be to recognize and communicate emotions, especially when we are taught to focus on fixing problems rather than understanding them. To address personal struggles in a lasting way, they must be approached with understanding, not just solutions. I have found that focusing only on solutions often addresses the surface of a problem rather than its underlying causes, which allows the same issues to return later. I see this struggle to communicate in myself and others, and because of that, I have become better at recognizing when someone wants to talk. I’ve found that the easiest way I can support them is to say “tell me more,” and people often appreciate it. It is a small gesture, but an important one. Experiences like this are why I want to become a clinician and develop the professional skills needed to support people responsibly and effectively. When someone’s world is falling apart, many men still feel they have to appear fine, even if they just want to get it all out. That gesture, however small it may seem to me, means everything to them. Outside of the personal aspect, there is the cultural one. The widespread attitudes toward men’s mental health are also an obstacle to meaningful change, and they affect the individual attitudes of each person toward mental health as well. To change individual views, societal attitudes also need to change. I am particularly drawn to psychiatry because it allows me to combine medicine with therapeutic relationships, helping people understand their struggles rather than only managing their symptoms. I want to sit one-on-one and tackle individual views, and I want to increase public access to information to oppose the defeating attitudes toward mental health. Because mental health is not just about quality of life, it’s about life itself. Suicide remains one of the leading causes of death among men under fifty in both the United States and the United Kingdom. Each one of those deaths leaves behind a group of family and friends who mourn that loss. Suicide is not a regular death. They didn’t just lose someone; someone left them. One of the greatest contributing factors is untreated mental health conditions, and improving access to mental health care and emotional education can reduce the risk of crisis before it escalates into harm. This is the kind of preventive work I hope to contribute to as a future psychiatrist. Solving the men’s mental health crisis is about more than the lives of men themselves. It is also about the lives that could be spared the loss caused by suicide and the families who would be spared that grief.

From a young age, I was drawn to helping others and found joy in being there for them when they needed it most. At first, I wanted to be an anesthesiologist because I liked chemistry and it was considered a secure career path, but I was never truly passionate about it. It was not until I confronted my own struggles with depression and anxiety that I truly began to appreciate psychology and psychiatry. After many low points marked by depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, I was finally able to ask for help. After receiving help to manage my mental health, I decided to commit my career, and more so my life, to helping others who have faced similar struggles. I committed to pursuing psychiatry because I knew that my experiences, however difficult, would help me become a clinician who understands the medical and human sides of illness. Many of the symptoms I experienced are associated with conditions such as major depressive disorder, which is strongly associated with an increased risk of suicide. Today, suicide is one of the leading killers of men under 45 in the USA. It affects countless families and friends long after it occurs, and no statistic can fully capture its lasting impact. Although I have not experienced suicidal ideation, I have shared many of the emotional struggles faced by those at risk of suicide. I want the opportunity to work with men who are hesitant to seek care and support them through a clinical practice focused on early intervention. I see silent struggles reflected in news stories, national statistics, and even in the lives of childhood friends. In addition, I see a large discrepancy between men who suffer from mental health conditions and those who actually seek help. In many cases, suicide is the result of untreated mental illness that could be addressed if support were more accessible and less stigmatized. Instead, one of the most powerful contributors to suicide among men is the stigma associated with seeking help, as it is often easier to suffer in silence “like a man” than to be perceived as weak by asking for support. Our current society creates an environment that promotes self-reliance in men to an unhealthy and unrealistic degree. Very few major accomplishments in human history have been achieved without support from others. Modern society should be no different. Although readers may not fully feel the frustration and sorrow behind these words, these emotions shape my life deeply. It is because of those emotions that I remind my friends and family how much I care about them and speak openly about my struggles, not to complain, but to acknowledge them. I make the effort to remind people close to me that we all struggle, and I choose to ask for help openly, because every time I do, I help normalize it. These conversations have strengthened my relationships and, I hope, created spaces where others feel safer being honest about their struggles. In my career as a psychiatrist, I hope to continue this work by helping redefine masculinity and developing male-focused mental health initiatives through public education and community outreach. I am tired of seeing news stories about how someone chose to leave this world. I want to help create more stories about what people accomplish with their one chance on this Earth.

Men like me are part of the group most affected by suicide. The only difference is that I was able to get help. Today, suicide is one of the leading killers of men under 45 in the USA. It affects countless families and friends long after it occurs, but no number can truly quantify the effect it leaves on them. The biggest factor contributing to suicide is mental illness, which is present in the vast majority of victims. Within this, major depressive disorder accounts for a large proportion of cases. From a young age, I was drawn to helping others and found joy in seeing them do well. At first, I wanted to be an anesthesiologist because I liked chemistry and I knew the career paid well, but I was never truly passionate about it. It wasn’t until I had to tackle my own inner demons that I truly appreciated psychology and psychiatry. I experienced persistent symptoms of depression, which contributed to my views on suicide. After getting help to manage my mental illness, I decided to commit my career, and more so my life, to helping others who suffered similarly. I committed to pursuing psychiatry because I knew that my experiences, however bad they were, would help me to do good as a clinician who understands the medical and human side of illness. I want the chance to work with men who are hesitant to seek care and help them intervene before it is too late. Today, I can look out at the world and see silent struggles hidden within news stories, national statistics, and even the lives of childhood friends. In addition, I see a large discrepancy between men who suffer from mental health conditions and those who actually seek help. An overlooked perspective on suicide is that it is often the result of untreated mental illness and social stigma. In many cases, it is a symptom of mental illness that could be treated if support were accessible and less stigmatized. Instead, one of the most powerful contributors to suicide among men is the stigma associated with seeking help, because it is easier to suffer in silence “like a man” than to emasculate yourself by asking for help. Our current society creates an environment that promotes self-reliance in men to an unhealthy and unrealistic degree. If you look at the accomplishments throughout human history, how many were done by one person, without any help? The answer is likely not zero, but minuscule when compared to the accomplishments of groups (i.e., those who lean on each other). I do not know if anyone who reads this essay can feel the frustration and sorrow behind these words, but these emotions affect me deeply. It is because of those emotions that I remind my friends and family how much I care about them and speak openly about my struggles, not to complain, but to acknowledge them. I make the effort to remind people close to me that we all struggle, and I choose to ask for help openly, because every time I do, I help normalize it. These conversations have strengthened my relationships and, I hope, created spaces where others feel safer being honest about their struggles. In my career, I want to continue this work by helping redefine masculinity and creating male-focused mental health initiatives that challenge modern beliefs. I am tired of seeing news stories about how someone chose to leave this world. I want to start seeing stories on all that someone accomplished with their one chance on this Earth.