Foster care was my escape from my family, my father was my 1st abuser and his abuse resulted in the creation of my daughter, which led me to my second abuser my mother. I was mentally drained and detached from the family I was born into. Forced into isolation after giving my all to the people who didn't give me anything in return, I just wanted this to work, I wanted the relationships of a family you see on television, I wanted the love to work, but it never did. My daughter changed my point of view on love, there was no need to beg for it, the love I had for her was pure and didn't take any hard work, it was natural and unconditional. I felt loved for the first time in my life and it was amazing, her eyes glistened and gave away all the innocence and love she had for me, she depended on me, and her life was in my hands. From a small infant, my daughter gave me hope to become better mentally and that resulted in me needing to run away and move on in life from my unhealthy lifestyle, my family needed to disappear. I knew I needed to leave and find better, find better or us. When I receive my degree I want to help children who have been abused mentally, physically, and sexually by family members and guardians. Giving these children the voices to stand up for what's evolving around them and the answers to what's making their lives so brutally complex. Giving these children the mental strength to fight against what isn't right. Educating these children on what is taking away their childhood and destroying their mental state can alter their visions and pathways in life. A child being abused can lead to their adult years being filled with psychological threats and lead to mental confusion, depression, and personal harm. My vision for these children and the general youth is to give them more stability mentally and physically to overcome their predators and abusers to overcome being abused and benefit from trauma while using it as an advantage in life. These mental tools can create a mature mindset, personal resilience, and perseverance throughout life but only if unlocked by someone's personal experience that is willing to give a hand to a small mind that has been locked in the cruel cycle of child abuse.

Foster care was my escape from my family, my father was my 1st abuser and his abuse resulted in the creation of my daughter, which led me to my second abuser my mother. I was mentally drained and detached from the family I was born into. Forced into isolation after giving my all to the people who didn't give me anything in return, I just wanted this to work, I wanted the relationships of a family you see on television, I wanted the love to work, but it never did. My daughter changed my point of view on love, there was no need to beg for it, the love I had for her was pure and didn't take any hard work, it was natural and unconditional. I felt loved for the first time in my life and it was amazing, her eyes glistened and gave away all the innocence and love she had for me, she depended on me, and her life was in my hands. From a small infant, my daughter gave me hope to become better mentally and that resulted in me needing to run away and move on in life from my unhealthy lifestyle, my family needed to disappear. I knew I needed to leave and find better, find better or us. When I receive my degree I want to help children who have been abused mentally, physically, and sexually by family members and guardians. Giving these children the voices to stand up for what's evolving around them and the answers to what's making their lives so brutally complex. Giving these children the mental strength to fight against what isn't right. Educating these children on what is taking away their childhood and destroying their mental state can alter their visions and pathways in life. A child being abused can lead to their adult years being filled with psychological threats and lead to mental confusion, depression, and personal harm. My vision for these children and the general youth is to give them more stability mentally and physically to overcome their predators and abusers, to overcome being abused and benefit from trauma while using it as an advantage in life. These mental tools can create a mature mindset, personal resilience, and perseverance throughout life but only if unlocked by someone's personal experience that is willing to give a hand to a small mind that has been locked in the cruel cycle of child abuse.

Yes, I was in the foster care system. Foster care was my escape from my family, my father was my 1st abuser and his abuse resulted in the creation of my daughter, which led me to my second abuser my mother. I was mentally drained and detached from the family I was born into. Forced into isolation after giving my all to the people who didn't give me anything in return, I just wanted this to work, I wanted the relationships of a family you see on television, I wanted the love to work, but it never did. My daughter changed my point of view on love, there was no need to beg for it, the love I had for her was pure and didn't take any hard work, it was natural and unconditional. I felt loved for the first time in my life and it was amazing, her eyes glistened and gave away all the innocence and love she had for me, she depended on me, and her life was in my hands. From a small infant, my daughter gave me hope to become better mentally and that resulted in me needing to run away and move on in life from my unhealthy lifestyle, my family needed to disappear. I knew I needed to leave and find better, find better or us. When I receive my degree I want to help children who have been abused mentally, physically, and sexually by family members and guardians. Giving these children the voices to stand up for what's evolving around them and the answers to what's making their lives so brutally complex. Giving these children the mental strength to fight against what isn't right. Educating these children on what is taking away their childhood and destroying their mental state can alter their visions and pathways in life. A child being abused can lead to their adult years being filled with psychological threats and lead to mental confusion, depression, and personal harm. My vision for these children and the general youth is to give them more stability mentally and physically to overcome their predators and abusers to overcome being abused and benefit from trauma while using it as an advantage in life. These mental tools can create a mature mindset, personal resilience, and perseverance throughout life but only if unlocked by someone's personal experience that is willing to give a hand to a small mind that has been locked in the cruel cycle of child abuse.

The baby is screaming because it's been 2 hours since she’s been fed but this essay’s due in 30 minutes. It's 11:30, and the ticking of the clock is blaring through my mind. “Focus”, those five letters are a reminder of the peace I wish I had. The next day pulsing towards me, the feeling of 12 a.m. catching up to me, this time loop is suffocating. I just need a chance to understand the work and feed this baby, I wish I had the power to pause my reality. I'm going to have to choose to turn it in late, but everything has to be on time. Easier said than done, I achieved this and clicked turn in on that assignment at 11:55, on time. The baby's stomach was filled to the brim, sound asleep. A sigh of relief is enough for me to get some sleep for a while at least. I am a 7th grader and have class in the morning. I have to be up at 2 a.m. again. Resting my mind is nearly impossible. There have been millions of moments like this but I'm here today juggling more than ever imagined within a high schooler's mind. I grew up in the middle of a disaster, a falling apart crisis of a family. Within this reality, I had no childhood, my life was wrapped around abuse. Mentally, physically, and sexually. Everything was crushing me and my little sister's small worlds. Every moment of my life I've had to keep one eye open, be aware, and be an adult to protect my little sister from a hurricane of parents. My world changed when I found out I was pregnant, a 12-year-old victim of abuse. Everything I did from that day on revolved around her. Everyone was shocked, not even my ob-gyn could convince me to give up my future opportunities and my best friend, my daughter. “I'm keeping her, I'm going to protect her”. What should be the first instincts of a mother. I can't ever say my guardians were a mother or a father, they were just there to stab, scar, and HURT. I had a 1-year-old at 14 and I was expecting life to be hard indeed, but I knew what I was capable of. I know my job and mission in life. I went from an abusive childhood to raising a child. This little girl was my future. I've lived in a shelter for 3 years now, and I've learned to overcome the impossible. Not only am I able to manage my education, but I clean, cook, pay my rent, budget, save, and maintain a stable job. I will always achieve what needs to be done. I, a mother, can give her, Royalyn Serenity, everything I never had. Going to college will be one of the easier things in my upcoming life. I'm getting housing and my daughter is going to kindergarten as I transition to college. This will be a step up on the stairs of success. I will always congratulate myself on my resilience because I embraced my struggle and knew I could get here. I will always hold myself up to high standards and refuse to be another statistic. My childhood has directed me in a way to where I aspire to be a positive leader for those around me and to break the generational trauma so my daughter will never have to experience the same. Royalyn will forever be the center of my growth and the fuel to my aspirations and determination.

The baby is screaming because it's been 2 hours since she’s been fed but this essay’s due in 30 minutes. It's 11:30, and the ticking of the clock is blaring through my mind. “Focus”, those five letters are a reminder of the peace I wish I had. The next day pulsing towards me, the feeling of 12 a.m. catching up to me, this time loop is suffocating. I just need a chance to understand the work and feed this baby, I wish I had the power to pause my reality. I'm going to have to choose to turn it in late, but everything has to be on time. Easier said than done, I achieved this and clicked turn in on that assignment at 11:55, on time. The baby's stomach was filled to the brim, sound asleep. A sigh of relief is enough for me to get some sleep for a while at least. I am a 7th grader and have class in the morning. I have to be up at 2 a.m. again. Resting my mind is nearly impossible. There have been millions of moments like this but I'm here today juggling more than ever imagined within a high schooler's mind. I grew up in the middle of a disaster, a falling apart crisis of a family. Within this reality, I had no childhood, my life was wrapped around abuse. Mentally, physically, and sexually. Everything was crushing me and my little sister's small worlds. Every moment of my life I've had to keep one eye open, be aware, and be an adult to protect my little sister from a hurricane of parents. My world changed when I found out I was pregnant, a 12-year-old victim of abuse. Everything I did from that day on revolved around her. Everyone was shocked, not even my ob-gyn could convince me to give up my future opportunities and my best friend, my daughter. “I'm keeping her, I'm going to protect her”. What should be the first instincts of a mother. I can't ever say my guardians were a mother or a father, they were just there to stab, scar, and HURT. I had a 1-year-old at 14 and I was expecting life to be hard indeed, but I knew what I was capable of. I know my job and mission in life. I went from an abusive childhood to raising a child. This little girl was my future. I've lived in a shelter for 3 years now, and I've learned to overcome the impossible. Not only am I able to manage my education, but I clean, cook, pay my rent, budget, save, and maintain a stable job. I will always achieve what needs to be done. I, a mother, can give her, Royalyn Serenity, everything I never had. Going to college will be one of the easier things in my upcoming life. I'm getting housing and my daughter is going to kindergarten as I transition to college. This will be a step up on the stairs of success. I will always congratulate myself on my resilience because I embraced my struggle and knew I could get here. I will always hold myself up to high standards and refuse to be another statistic. My childhood has directed me in a way to where I aspire to be a positive leader for those around me and to break the generational trauma so my daughter will never have to experience the same. Royalyn will forever be the center of my growth and the fuel to my aspirations and determination.

The baby is screaming because it's been 2 hours since she’s been fed but this essay’s due in 30 minutes. It's 11:30, and the ticking of the clock is blaring through my mind. “Focus”, those five letters are a reminder of the peace I wish I had. The next day pulsing towards me, the feeling of 12 a.m. catching up to me, this time loop is suffocating. I just need a chance to understand the work and feed this baby, I wish I had the power to pause my reality. I'm going to have to choose to turn it in late, but everything has to be on time. Easier said than done, I achieved this and clicked turn in on that assignment at 11:55, on time. The baby's stomach was filled to the brim, sound asleep. A sigh of relief is enough for me to get some sleep for a while at least. I am a 7th grader and have class in the morning. I have to be up at 2 a.m. again. Resting my mind is nearly impossible. There have been millions of moments like this but I'm here today juggling more than ever imagined within a high schooler's mind. I grew up in the middle of a disaster, a falling apart crisis of a family. Within this reality, I had no childhood, my life was wrapped around abuse. Mentally, physically, and sexually. Everything was crushing me and my little sister's small worlds. Every moment of my life I've had to keep one eye open, be aware, and be an adult to protect my little sister from a hurricane of parents. My world changed when I found out I was pregnant, a 12-year-old victim of abuse. Everything I did from that day on revolved around her. Everyone was shocked, not even my ob-gyn could convince me to give up my future opportunities and my best friend, my daughter. “I'm keeping her, I'm going to protect her”. What should be the first instincts of a mother. I can't ever say my guardians were a mother or a father, they were just there to stab, scar, and HURT. I had a 1-year-old at 14 and I was expecting life to be hard indeed, but I knew what I was capable of. I know my job and mission in life. I went from an abusive childhood to raising a child. This little girl was my future. I've lived in a shelter for 3 years now, and I've learned to overcome the impossible. Not only am I able to manage my education, but I clean, cook, pay my rent, budget, save, and maintain a stable job. I will always achieve what needs to be done. I, a mother, can give her, Royalyn Serenity, everything I never had. Going to college will be one of the easier things in my upcoming life. I'm getting housing and my daughter is going to kindergarten as I transition to college. This will be a step up on the stairs of success. I will always congratulate myself on my resilience because I embraced my struggle and knew I could get here. I will always hold myself up to high standards and refuse to be another statistic. My childhood has directed me in a way to where I aspire to be a positive leader for those around me and to break the generational trauma so my daughter will never have to experience the same. Royalyn will forever be the center of my growth and the fuel to my aspirations and determination.