My father was never close with me as a child, I was like my mom and my older brother got his attention. Once I grew into my career my father and I started our relationship due to the field of work I was in. It was everything I ever wanted to have his attention and love; we grew closer in the 6 years after I graduated high school in 2001. My father called me one Sunday night and I opted not to answer and call him in the morning, this was the one phone call I wish I never ignored. My father was calling me to say goodbye. March 10th, 2007 my dad took his life and my life would never be the same. This single moment changed the path of my life for the next 11 years as I suffered from guilt with not having an opportunity to speak to him when he called. As a child I wanted nothing more to have a relationship with my father and now that he is gone I too felt it was ok to take my own life. In 2014 I had my first attempt and only by God's grace that I am able to be here today, I had my second attempt in 2016 and God was not done with me. This generational curse that I brought upon myself led to so much shame that I numbed my hurt with alcohol and drugs from 2018-2022. I always carried a good Job in commercial HVAC, had nice things but inside I was so empty. I gave my life to Christ in 2022 and for the first time in my life I loved myself and forgave myself for the pain I caused on others with my suicidal ideations and self-hatred. I currently serve as the ministry leader in Celebrate Recovery, providing my story as a testimony of hope for others that are going through similar situations as I did in my life. I work with adult men daily with support as an accountability partner and sponsor men as a mentor. I go into recovery centers around town each week giving lessons of hope and teaching on grief with the dangers that will happen to us if we do not address the hurt, we have stuffed down. I have currently been called into youth ministry to bring my story of hope with them, I also have taken Celebrate Recovery into West Texas Boys Ranch speaking of the hope found in Jesus Christ. God has used my mess and turned it into his message, putting me in a place I never would have imagined, speaking my story to so many. I am currently enrolled at Grand Canyon University and start my online classes on May 26th. God as shown me just what he can do in so many ways, three years he has brought me out of addiction, self-hatred and brought me into ministry with taking this next journey in schooling. I am now ministering to youth in many areas of the community.

I have had to put off with purchasing a computer for my online schooling. My job let me use theirs

My father was never close with me as a child, I was like my mom and my older brother got his attention. Once I grew into my career my father and I started our relationship due to the field of work I was in. It was everything I ever wanted to have his attention and love, we grew closer in the 6 years after i graduated high school in 2001. My father called me one Sunday night and I opted not to answer and call him in the morning, this was the one phone call I wish I never ignored. My father was calling me to tell me goodbye. March 10th, 2007 my dad took his life and my life would never be the same. This single moment changed the path of my life for the next 11 years as I suffered from guilt with not having an opportunity to speak to him when he called. As a child I wanted nothing more to have a relationship with my father and now that he is gone I too felt it was ok to take my own life. In 2014 I had my first attempt and only by God's grace that I am able to be here today, I had my second attempt in 2016 and God was not done with me. This generational curse that I brought upon myself led to so much shame that I numbed my hurt with alcohol and drugs from 2018-2022. I always carried a good Job in commercial HVAC, had nice things but inside I was so empty. I gave my life to Christ in 2022 and for the first time in my life I loved myself and forgave myself for the pain I caused on others with my suicidal ideations and self hatred. I currently serve as the ministry leader in Celebrate Recovery, providing my story as a testimony of hope for others that are going through similar situations as I did in my life. I work with adult men daily with support as an accountability partner and also sponsor men as a mentor. I go into recovery centers around town each week giving lessons of hope and teaching on grief with the dangers with what will happen to us if we do not address the hurt we have stuffed down. I have currently been called into youth ministry to bring my story of hope with them, I also have taken Celebrate Recovery into West Texas Boys Ranch speaking of the hope found in Jesus Christ. God has used my mess and turned it into his message, putting me in a place I never would have imagined, speaking my story to so many. I am currently enrolled at Grand Canyon University and start my online classes May 26th. I was never good in school as a child and always considered myself not smart, I believed the lies that everyone told of me. Today at 42 years of age I have seen the power of what grief can do in ones life and want to take my education to a deeper level with passing this story of hope to all. I deal with this hurt by helping others, its not my story to keep, there is hope and through this schooling it will allow me better myself with going into ministry, dedicating my life to suicide prevention. I cannot afford schooling but know this is what I am supposed to do. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to apply and thank you for having a heart to help others.

My father was never close with me as a child, I was like my mom and my older brother got his attention. Once I grew into my career my father and I started our relationship due to the field of work I was in. It was everything I ever wanted to have his attention and love, we grew closer in the 6 years after i graduated high school in 2001. My father called me one Sunday night and I opted not to answer and call him in the morning, this was the one phone call I wish I never ignored. My father was calling me to tell me goodbye. March 10th, 2007 my dad took his life and my life would never be the same. This single moment changed the path of my life for the next 11 years as I suffered from guilt with not having an opportunity to speak to him when he called. As a child I wanted nothing more to have a relationship with my father and now that he is gone I too felt it was ok to take my own life. In 2014 I had my first attempt and only by God's grace that I am able to be here today, I had my second attempt in 2016 and God was not done with me. This generational curse that I brought upon myself led to so much shame that I numbed my hurt with alcohol and drugs from 2018-2022. I always carried a good Job in commercial HVAC, had nice things but inside I was so empty. I gave my life to Christ in 2022 and for the first time in my life I loved myself and forgave myself for the pain I caused on others with my suicidal ideations and self hatred. I currently serve as the ministry leader in Celebrate Recovery, providing my story as a testimony of hope for others that are going through similar situations as I did in my life. I work with adult men daily with support as an accountability partner and also sponsor men as a mentor. I go into recovery centers around town each week giving lessons of hope and teaching on grief with the dangers with what will happen to us if we do not address the hurt we have stuffed down. I have currently been called into youth ministry to bring my story of hope with them, I also have taken Celebrate Recovery into West Texas Boys Ranch speaking of the hope found in Jesus Christ. God has used my mess and turned it into his message, putting me in a place I never would have imagined, speaking my story to so many. I am currently enrolled at Grand Canyon University and start my online classes May 26th. I was never good in school as a child and always considered myself not smart, I believed the lies that everyone told of me. Today at 42 years of age I have seen the power of what grief can do in ones life and want to take my education to a deeper level with passing this story of hope to all. I deal with this hurt by helping others, its not my story to keep, there is hope and through this schooling it will allow me better myself with going into ministry, dedicating my life to suicide prevention. I cannot afford schooling but know this is what I am supposed to do. God has put this on my heart and honestly I am not understanding with any of it, but what I do understand is that anytime I get uncomfortable and take a step with the little strength that I have, God's strength perceivers and its only by Him that I am being used in such a way in ministry. God as shown me just what he can do in so many ways, three years he has brought me out of addiction, self-hatred and brought me into ministry with taking this next journey in schooling. My wife had a vision of her and I ministering to youth, it was brought to her in 2023. God told her "I hope your ready". We are now ministering to youth in many areas of the community. We almost took a position with the West Texas Boys Ranch as cottage parents but God has us in Celebrate Recovery for now. As we continue to build our relationship with WTBR we know God is going to use my education with starting full time ministry there at their chapel, not only for the boys there but also their cottage parents. As we noticed those parents are in need of a relationship with Jesus, starting their and as their hearts become willing we can continue to pour into them with teaching them how to study the bible, putting on bible studies with the kiddos and bringing the spirit into their homes as those sweet boys need God. He is the only way for healing the deep trauma those boys have. I have fully surrendered to what God has called me into and starting with this degree. I have done commercial HVAC for 23 years and am counting down the days for being able to use this degree of Christian studies to further his kingdom and doing his will for the remainder of my life. If I could tell you where God will put me I would be lying, as anything I ever thought has been wrong, God has much bigger plans than anything I have expected thus far. What I can tell you with that its me who will be obedient to where he calls me. Knowing its going to take work on my part, I have defiantly gotten uncomfortable and taking a step into this direction at Grand Canyon University. Being very comfortable that whats on the other side of this will be greater than I can imagine. Seek first the kingdom of heaven and all else will be given to you. Thank you for your heart to help others, thank you for allowing me this opportunity to share alittle about me and what God has done in my life.

My father was never close with me as a child, I was like my mom and my older brother got his attention. Once I grew into my career my father and I started our relationship due to the field of work I was in. It was everything I ever wanted to have his attention and love, we grew closer in the 6 years after i graduated high school in 2001. My father called me one Sunday night and I opted not to answer and call him in the morning, this was the one phone call I wish I never ignored. My father was calling me to tell me goodbye. March 10th, 2007 my dad took his life and my life would never be the same. This single moment changed the path of my life for the next 11 years as I suffered from guilt with not having an opportunity to speak to him when he called. As a child I wanted nothing more to have a relationship with my father and now that he is gone I too felt it was ok to take my own life. In 2014 I had my first attempt and only by God's grace that I am able to be here today, I had my second attempt in 2016 and God was not done with me. This generational curse that I brought upon myself led to so much shame that I numbed my hurt with alcohol and drugs from 2018-2022. I always carried a good Job in commercial HVAC, had nice things but inside I was so empty. I gave my life to Christ in 2022 and for the first time in my life I loved myself and forgave myself for the pain I caused on others with my suicidal ideations and self hatred. I currently serve as the ministry leader in Celebrate Recovery, providing my story as a testimony of hope for others that are going through similar situations as I did in my life. I work with adult men daily with support as an accountability partner and also sponsor men as a mentor. I go into recovery centers around town each week giving lessons of hope and teaching on grief with the dangers with what will happen to us if we do not address the hurt we have stuffed down. I have currently been called into youth ministry to bring my story of hope with them, I also have taken Celebrate Recovery into West Texas Boys Ranch speaking of the hope found in Jesus Christ. God has used my mess and turned it into his message, putting me in a place I never would have imagined, speaking my story to so many. I am currently enrolled at Grand Canyon University and start my online classes May 26th. I was never good in school as a child and always considered myself not smart, I believed the lies that everyone told of me. Today at 42 years of age I have seen the power of what grief can do in ones life and want to take my education to a deeper level with passing this story of hope to all. I deal with this hurt by helping others, its not my story to keep, there is hope and through this schooling it will allow me better myself with going into ministry, dedicating my life to suicide prevention. I cannot afford schooling but know this is what I am supposed to do. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity to apply and thank you for having a heart to help others.