As a nearly 20-times published writer, I can find success and fulfillment not in spite of my disability, but because of it. My identity is the cornerstone of what I write. I am a queer, neurodivergent writer who has recently been diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder and autism. This came as no surprise (late diagnosed autists are often capable of identifying this barrier in their lives prior to medical confirmation) but it has opened the door to seeking out accommodation. It has also been a great relief to find that when I wrote characters derived from personal experience, it was actually authentic representation of neurodiversity. Living along the poverty line for the last three years has been a significant stressor as I simultaneously work and pursue my education. The funds of this scholarship would directly funnel into my housing. I am a teaching assistant at Fort Hays State University where I am also working on my master’s degree in English. During my educational career I have attended two academic conferences to present my research on ludology in storytelling; worked as the editor-in-chief of a campus magazine for two years; and co-hosted a radio show discussing pop culture/media analysis. My own writing has been published nearly 20 times in various magazines, including Antler Velvet Magazine. I have also volunteered extensively serving local food insecurity and in my chosen field of publishing. I have been a volunteer editor of various magazines for the last four years, including Vial of Bones Zine. Most recently, I took a position as a slush reader for the independent publisher, Grendel Press. Because I plan to work in publishing, my marginalized experiences are ingrained in my approach. As a future literary agent in the U.S., it is more important than every that we champion stories that represent communities beyond heteronormative, neurotypical people. The fact of the matter is, despite what marketing wants consumers to believe, marginalized authors and marginalized stories are still in the significant minority. When I enter the workforce in the career path I have sought out my entire life, my personal work philosophy will be provide a platform for these stories. Neurodiverse and other marginalized stories should be pulled to the center stage of the cultural conversation, especially in a time when political forces are pushing to take them off the stage entirely. Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing your response soon.

To the scholarship decision committee, First and foremost, I am so sorry to see lights such as Justin and his wife passing on. Grief has fueled my own writing journey and molded my perspective on storytelling, as my uncle passed away while I was working on my first novel in 2023. The story of a lonely, autistic boy traversing a post-apcalyptic landscape with motifs of fungus, oil, and nature poured out of a heart and mind that didn't know how to process the rapid onset of grief in my life. Even now grief remains a major motif of my work, though I also have expanded my scope to provide a platform for diverse gender and sexuality experiences. My latest work---a fast-paced, psychological/supernatural horror novella---uses surrealist elements to explore the identity of a non-binary AFAB protagonist. These elements are drawn from the core of who I am. My identity is the cornerstone of what I write. I am a queer, neurodivergent writer who has recently been diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder and autism. This came as no surprise (late diagnosed autists are often capable of identifying this barrier in their lives prior to medical confirmation) but it has opened the door to seeking out accommodation. It has also been a great relief to find that when I wrote characters derived from personal experience, it was actually authentic representation of neurodiversity. Living along the poverty line for the last three years has been a significant stressor as I simultaneously work and pursue my education. The funds of this scholarship would directly funnel into my housing. I am a teaching assistant at Fort Hays State University where I am also working on my master’s degree in English. During my educational career I have attended two academic conferences to present my research on ludology in storytelling; worked as the editor-in-chief of a campus magazine for two years; and co-hosted a radio show discussing pop culture/media analysis. My own writing has been published nearly 20 times in various magazines, including Antler Velvet Magazine. I have also volunteered extensively serving local food insecurity and in my chosen field of publishing. I have been a volunteer editor of various magazines for the last four years including Vial of Bones Zine, and I have recently taken a position as a slush reader for Grendel Press. You can find my Instagram under my recently launched pen name, @author_e.g.harlow. Thank you for your consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely, Adia Reynolds

Across the world copies of the book "A Wrinkle in Time" by Madeliene L'Engle fall simultaneously into the laps of every single human, translated into their native languages. "A Wrinkle in Time" is the first of a quintet, and by far the most famous. In it we enter upon our protagonist Meg, awake during a storm. Meg, her brother Charles Wallace, and their neighbor Calvin must go on a journey to find Meg's father with the help of supernatural beings Mrs. Who, Mrs. Which, and Mrs. Whatsit. Above all else, this is a story about love. Familial love is paramount to the plot and one of Meg's driving factors. This theme is not lectured at the reader but masked beneath an engaging Sci-Fi/Fantasy plot. Scientific elements include the usage of the fourth dimension, time, to justify the existence of an even further fifth dimension otherwise referred to as a tesseract. The tesseract is reminiscent of an Einsten-Rosen Bridge or a wormhole used to travel across space and time. Fantastical elements include both the Mrs. characters and the antagonist. First, all three Mrs. claim they are stars who sacrificed their original forms in the fight against darkness. The darkness is only referred to as either IT or The Happy Sadist throughout the book. It displays abilities of mind control on a planetary scale with the aim to spread its reach throughout the universe. When Charles Wallace is taken under Its control, only her love for her brother is enough to save him. "A Wrinkle in Time" is an impactful novel for readers of any age due to its universal themes and engaging approach to sharing them. As a young reader, this book did two things: one, it sparked my love for reading in a way that makes other books of my youth simply fade into the background. Two, it embodied this quote, "Fairy tales are more than true – not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten. "- G.K. Chesterton. This book banished my fear of the dark, of walking down the stairs in the middle of a thunderstorm, and of telling my siblings how much I love them.

My ideal bookshelf is not one of the aesthetic ones found on BookTok. It doesn't have fairy lights draping the bottom and it isn't organized by color. My dream bookshelf is floor to ceiling, made of dark wood and crammed with as many titles as possible. It is organized by genre and subcategorized by author with preference given to series then moving on to stand-alone novels. As I sit typing this in my dorm room I have exactly zero bookshelves, but still plenty of books. I brought only the titles on my TBR (to be read) list, a habit taken from my BookTok feed. Such titles include "Vicious" by V. E. Schwab, "The Midnight Library" by Matt Haig, and "A Deadly Education" by Naomi Novik. What is the common variable between these three titles? BookTok made me do it! BookTok is a space on TikTok where viewers can get away from the constant stream of information and entertainment and slow down, read books, and find community. I, along with many others, use it to find new books to add to my never-ending TBR list. To demonstrate the massive sway BookTok can hold, I'd only heard of one of the authors listed above. I decided to give the other two a chance simply because of how many people enjoyed the book enough to post reviews online or to include them in book recommendation videos. These are my favorite videos of BookTok. Videos along the style of 'If you liked this, read that...', however, this also leads to one of the biggest faults of BookTok: repetition. In videos similar to the one described above, there is a habit of creators to hype up the same books over and over again. Certainly one could push past these recommendations, dig deeper, and find more unique titles, but the algorithm doesn't support it. This is illustrated perfectly in the YouTube video "is tiktok ruining reading? & the desire to be 'a reader'" by The Book Leo, where the creator explains that the algorithm feeds viewers more of what they like. So when booktokers like videos about, say, "The Song of Achilles" by Madeline Miller, then the algorithm is more likely to recommend videos that include the same title. Indie writers, new releases, or any book that isn't a smash hit isn't considered valuable by the algorithm. BookTok has been a wonderful source of inspiration and recommendations, but I've found greater luck with another bookish community: Bookstagram. I am an active member of the Booktok community, but I branch out into a creator on Instagram. I've posted book reviews, writing tips, original writing and more on the account @cryptic.cryptid.writes. I don't say this for a shameless plug, but to demonstrate my forwardness and higher involvement than most in this community. Bookstagram and the adjacent writergram are where I've found a home to share what I've been passionate about my whole life: Books! Through this platform, I've connected with 900 writers and readers alike in our shared love for words. Both Bookstagram and BookTok have done something incredible: fostered community and a love of reading in a digital setting. This is no easy feat, considering the competitors for our attention. For that, BookTok will always have my respect. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a book to finish.

Books saved my life. I intend to become a novel editor so that future generations can have similar experiences. Let me explain. I'm hyperlexic, which simply means I learned to read at an earlier age than average. This opened the door to who I became today. When I was six I would have nightmares about bills (even though I didn't understand money at the time). But I understood we were poor. I understood that I couldn't have things other kids did. I understood that I should eat everything on my plate because food insecurity sat alongside the hunger in my stomach. I would wake up from those nightmares, turn on the hallway light and read. Reading opened to me a world where I was more than myself. Where I could go on an adventure without ever leaving my house. Books saved my life because they gave me an escape, but also because they stretched my intelligence from a young age. Through that intelligence grew ambition. Books are a myriad of things to me: a way to relax, an escape, a path to growing my mind, education, and so much more. Fiction taught me that anything is possible with enough imagination, and nonfiction taught me how to pursue those wild dreams. If my dreams are a balloon, then knowledge and education are the rock tied to the bottom to keep me from floating away. To keep me realistic yet ambitious, two traits I would already use to describe myself. This pursuit is not only for myself but in hopes that someday I can help novelists become the authors of tomorrow who encourage another generation to pick up reading. I've volunteered extensively at my church over the last four years of high school. I've done bake sales, led a vacation bible school group, taking care of children, and made drinks in the cafe. I also serve once a week as the President and Editor-in-Chief of the Creative Writing Club at my school. This role may not seem like volunteer work, but I put in significant amounts of time before each meeting to ensure that my fellow club members have ample opportunities to write, grow, and perhaps publish their works in our magazine. All of these examples will translate directly into the person I want to be in and outside of the workforce. I want to foster growth in people, and I want to use my passion for reading to do that. I want kids to have the same joyous experience I had growing up, spending my days in Narnia or on a pirate ship sailing through the stars, or whatever else sparks their imaginations. I believe innovation and imagination are character traits that should be fostered, and I believe that I can help do that in my future as a novel editor.

Above and beyond is practically the motto of my life. Work ethic is something that was instilled in me from an early age, and today that translates to a mantra: Did you get it done or did you do it right? What does this phrase mean? At first glance it might appear to be pointless. Yes the job is done. But the second half is what matters: Did I do it right? For me that doesn't mean the baseline level of completeness. A job done right is something where every detail correct, not a hair out of place. It means that I put effort into everything I do, or else it's not considered a job done right. Take my current job for example. I work at Arby's, taking orders and filling them 4-6 nights a week. The policy at Arby's is CAYG or Clean As You Go. But during a rush that becomes practically impossible. What that means is after the physical labor of moving around filling orders, the emotional labor of negotiating with angry customers, and the mental labor of battling stress all the while, the job's still not done. In that moment of peace, when my back aches, when my throat is sore from speaking so much, and when every step causes me pain (I had an injury that's left me with chronic pain in my left foot) I still keep working. I wipe the counters. I restock the sauces. I keep working even though work leaves me tired enough to sleep standing up. I go the distance in every realm of my life. At home I've been babysitting my siblings as long as I can remember. With four younger siblings this was never a simple task, especially when I had my own chores and homework to complete as well. At school I'm a concurrent enrollment student, which means I have been taking college classes since I was fourteen years old. For a frame of reference most students in this program begin in the age range of fifteen to seventeen. I have a 3.9 GPA, which, well by no means perfect, is still a point that separates me from my peers. I am the president of the creative writing club, a position I earned by attending almost every meeting in 2020, even when there were literally two members in the club. This role is not limited to the meetings. Most days I take aside time to find prompts, brainstorm club agendas, and ensure that the club creates memories that will stick with its members. I volunteer at my church serving coffee, helping with Vacation Bible School, and Trunk or Treat. Volunteering inherently requires giving yourself away for the sake of someone in need. It is tiring, but well worth the effort. My philosophy will take me where I need to go in life. I plan to graduate with a bachelor's in english, move to New York City and intern with one of the Big Five publishing houses. From there I will have ample credentials to become a novel editor. Nothing excites me more, and nothing moves me closer to these goals than my work ethic and the motto stated above. This mantra has brought me to where I am today in life, but it's not for people who want instantaneous success. "Did you do get it done or did you do it right?" prompts me to double check my surroundings and make sure I'm constantly giving my all. "Did you get it done or did you do it right" prompts me in everything I do.

How to choose one fact when the world surrounding us is so full of things to learn about? At the moment my favorite fact is that cows have best friends. This is supported by research conducted by Northampton University in 2019. They declared that, “when paired with their best friend, the cows heart rates were significantly lower.” I love learning facts about the animal kingdom because it often shows that other species lead more complex lives than we first believed. My grandparents owned cows and so I’ve gotten more up close and personal with them than most people. They’re surprisingly beautiful, docile creatures. With long lashes and slow movements, they’re nothing to be intimidated by. My grandparents once called their favorite cow, Beulah, over and let me ride on her back. Contrary to my experiences, my best friend had never seen a cow farm before. When we drove past one last week she watched in awe, cooing, “cows!” So there’s a level of irony in learning cows have best friends right after watching my best friend grow so ecstatic at the sight of them.

Most, if not all the adult women in my life diet. My mom diets gluten and dairy because of liver problems. My grandma and aunt did weight watchers when I was little. My friend's mom diets by fasting. All of them had good reason to diet, however, I disagree with diet culture. Diet culture condemns and guilt trips for even the smallest slip. "Do you want to be fat?" is a disgusting ear worm that lives in the back of most women's minds. When I got my first job at Arby's, it was right around Prom season. My parents warned me that if I ate too much food from work I would gain weight. I brushed it off, yet it seeded into my subconscious. I actually LOST weight, and my dress didn't even fit properly anymore. I do not fall into this demographic, but the number of youth in America struggling with eating disorders is frankly depressing. I thank God that I have resisted this mental illness, but so many people struggle daily with self image and weight. People who look in the mirror and struggle with what they see. But what does this tell us about living a healthy lifestyle? It tells us that being healthy is not intrinsically tied to weight. Living a healthy lifestyle should not mean aggressive dieting. The strictness of diet culture is what creates unhealthy diet cycles. As soon as you make a mistake, that's it. You're a failure. But life shouldn't be lived so negatively. A balanced life should mean a balance lifestyle. It should mean pursuing health actively, but not obsessing over it. Exercising daily, making healthy choices in what we eat, sleeping well, etc. It should mean a level of body positivity, and not judging people for their appearances. In terms of my own life, I love biking, walking, and rock climbing when I have the time. I take time for my oral health, and my skin's health morning and night. I'm working on balancing my need to complete school work and still get a good night's sleep. I use quiet music or white noise to aid in that. I actually enjoy the fruits and vegetables I incorporate into my diet. A healthy life should not equate to misery. Eat that cake, sleep in a little late, wear the clothes that make you comfortable and happy, not the clothes that people said would 'compliment your figure'. Life is about balance. Balance is healthy. Live life aware of your choices, but don't let others shame you for them.

One thing people underestimate is how much of an impact one person can make. Even more people assume that leaving a mark is something that takes long term planning and commitment. This is true for some things, but what I've learned is that the little things add up. Compliments, holding the door, offering to help when it goes above the line of what's strictly necessary. These are opportunities I look for daily, and this concept is something that can be carried directly over to my career. I am going to edit novels, assuring that the books that run through my hands are typo free and well written. How does this even remotely relate to leaving a positive impact? The most influential part of my life are the books that I've read. Children's literature as well as young adult and even non-fiction have left deep impacts on my psyche. Stories are powerful. Stories, and the heroes of such tales, teach people that there is GOOD in this world still. That humans aren't inherently lazy, callous, or apathetic. Books remind us we have souls, and that the world is full of color and adventure still. When Kate DiCamillo won a Newbery Award, she wrote a response article titled "Impossible, Wonderful Things" in which she reminisces about her childhood experiences with books and libraries. She proclaims how impactful they were to her, and imagines how other children across America must have felt similarly. I know I can agree with DiCamillo. Think back to the last time a book, or any piece of media really, moved you to tears. Moved you so deeply, touching the core of who you are, that shivers ran down your arms and spine. By becoming an editor, I become a piece in the puzzle that created the art the public enjoys. By becoming an editor, I can assure that other children who were like me-- quiet and anxious-- can have an escape from their troubles and slip into a world that makes them believe in magic. Magic isn't real, but it is. It exists in the media we consume. It exists in the imaginations bold enough to create that media. Magic exists not to accomplish the impossible for us, but for us to remember that the impossible can become possible. With a little ingenuity and passion, humanity took to the stars once. With enough motivation, humans can accomplish anything. My job is to help people dream again, because dreams give passion a direction. I will leave a positive impact by helping authors leave an impact on the youth of tomorrow. It's not as direct as other careers such as teachers or first responders. My positive impact will be by working in the background to help others leave an impact, and I couldn't be happier to help.

@cantb3lieveitsnotbutter: Buy supplies from the dollar store (or your region's equivalent). This is prevalent if you're family is low income or you're in college and living on a budget. The quality, and sometimes the actual brands are identical to stuff from, say, Walmart or Target. Contrary to popular belief, you don't need notebooks with inspirational quotes printed in cursive across the front or a fancy planner to be successful. You need cheap yet reliable resources and a hardworking mindset. Good luck everyone!

If drive is the gas in my car, passion is the gas station. You'll need to stop and refuel every once in a while, maybe pull out the map and make sure you're going the right direction, but ultimately it's meant to get you back out on the road again. Passion whispers in my ear, "we should do that." Passion is usually right. Passion led me to try mountain biking, rock climbing, white water rafting, and many other things I never would have tried otherwise. It pushes me to try new things, from big choices to little ones. These days I don't have time for anything adrenaline rush worthy. Instead I live outside the box by choosing the strangest drink flavors I can find. What the Fanta?, Cola Starlight, Cola Dreamworld, Fanta Strawberry, etc. If it looks like it would taste weird and exciting, I buy it. Passion can fill the little things in life too. Passion says, "attend the writing club, even if you're the only member who shows up. Just show up." Now I'm the president of the writing club, and have grown the club, bringing in writing prompts and talking to members outside of meetings. Passion formed my dream job, but personal drive fueled that into an achievable career plan. Rather than being a writer, I will edit novels for other writers. The plan is along the same line of thought as my passions, which is why I can imagine myself spending my life doing it. Passion says, "Compliment that girl in the bathroom, leave the world one choice brighter." Even if the recipient gives me a strange look or doesn't respond at all, it's better than the alternative-- allowing my love and passion for the world around me to shrivel and die. Passion propels me past fear. I've struggled with anxiety for a long time, social anxiety in particular. If you met me four years ago, I'd hardly squeak out a word. The modern iteration of me has taken a public speaking class (and loved it) as well as talked in front of club members once a week for a year. Now I know that fear only stops me if I allow it to. The choice is ultimately up to me. Passion helps me remember why I'm pushing past the fear at all. Passion can't get me to the finish line, but it can persuade me to start the race. Passion is essential to me. If I'm not pursuing my passion on some level, whose life am I living anyway?

What do Lilo and Nani from "Lilo and Stitch", GoGo from "Big Hero Six", Hawkeye (Kate Bishop) from "Hawkeye", and Agent Peggy Carter from "Agent Carter" have in common? More than you'd think. As with anyone else, my favorite Disney character has varied as I aged. Yet each of these women gave me something to look up to. Lilo taught me to be bold. Throughout the movie she is unashamed of her interests, her passions, or her alien "dog". Nani taught me how to be brave, specifically in the sense of being the oldest sibling. I watched her give up everything for her sister Lilo. Though she and I lead very different home lifes, it still felt as though I helped my parents raise my siblings. I related to her simultaneous anger and love for her sibling, and took note of how she continued to fight for her family in the face of difficulty. I'll admit, GoGo I simply found awesome as a kid. We watched the movie in theaters, and I watched in awe as this girl was smart and tough at the same time. I wanted to be as cool as her. Today that translates to being confident in my skills and intelligence, just as she is. Kate Bishop is the epitome of capable yet inexperienced, which is exactly where I sat in life when the series "Hawkeye" came out. I watched as she met her hero, pursued what she was passionate about, and succeeded despite being repeatedly knocked down by the world or her own mistakes. I want to be enthusiastic like her. So enthusiastic that I don't mind trying again and again. Finally, Peggy Carter. Capable, intelligent, cool-headed and stubborn in the face of opposition. Peggy was a women in the workforce right after WW2, and each episode fought to establish that she belonged there. She is someone I can look up to. She showed me how to deny opposition with grace and poise. Each of the women I adored in media have similar qualities, even if at first glance it doesn't seem like it. All are passionate, driven, and put their whole selves into their goals. This is who I want to be. Thank you Disney, Marvel, and Pixar for giving me women with those traits to admire.

I will never join the military, because I am the daughter of a veteran. My dad has an 80% disability from his time serving in the army. When I was younger we couldn't go to loud, crowded places because of the stress it would induce. We left a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese because it was too overwhelming. He didn't come to school events or parades. These days he's much better. Not perfect, of course, but better. My younger brothers were born after he left the military, so they will never understand the full depth of being a military kid. They'll never send dad off to Afghanistan or Iraq or wherever else he was deployed to this time. They'll never ask mom when he's coming home, and wonder why that question made mom so upset. They'll never count down the months till they can hug their dad again. They'll never be six years old, desperate for a new doll, and set aside the catalog because there was no way we could afford it on military wages. They'll never get detached from friendships, knowing it's only a matter of time before they have to say goodbye and move to another state. This is the impact of my dad's service in the U.S. military-- a story that many military kids can resonate with. Some follow in their parents footsteps. My family is very heavily military. Uncles, grandparents, and cousins surround me at each reunion with military experience. There is an endless well of respect that I pour out for them and other veterans. Their bravery, and their sacrifices are admirable. At Arby's, where I work, I will always be happy to give those who ask for it a 10% discount. I hand their food through the window with a "thank you for your service". This isn't company policy or scripting at play. I truly feel that veterans and active military have earned respect. However, I have no desire to join their ranks. Even my father, the military man of the house, has stated that he doesn't want any of his children to join the military. Any of us, from myself down to my youngest brother with his bright smile and quick comedic quips. My dad never elaborated why, but I think it's a sentiment in keeping us safe. Not only physically but mentally. And though he never seemed to understand my career interests, he always supported me. My dad went from being in the military for over ten years to working in IT. For a few years he pointed me in that direction with comments about women in STEM and how it would lead to a good paycheck which meant a comfortable life. I do love science, so these ideas appealed to me for a while, but now I've found something to be passionate about. Becoming an editor is about as far left from my dad's career history as possible. Yet, as stated above, he didn't question me. Didn't try to sway me or make passive aggressive comments about my choice. He supported me, and I'll always be grateful for that. I won't work in IT, or join the military, but I hope he's proud of me anyway.

Why am I pursuing a college degree? Why do I push myself to do the work even when I’m tired? Why did I get a job to put aside 90% of my earnings? When all I want is to read or hang out with friends or even just close my eyes for a moment? All of the above questions have the same answer. I’m pursuing higher education for the love of learning, and as a symptom of my drive and ambition. I love learning. I was born with an itch in my brain. Why, why, why? Even subjects I don’t want to major in, I’m still constantly using google or finding experts in the subject just to ask how, what, why. Watching documentaries and TED talks, listening to podcasts, reading articles, asking questions. No matter the format, I pile questions and answers onto my plate like life is an all you can eat buffet of fascinating information. Going to college means I can keep asking why; means I can keep delving into the infinite depths of knowledge academia can offer. To put it shortly, college is a dream come true for the person seeking to expand their baseline knowledge and worldview. I am an avid learner in constant pursuit of more. Secondly, as stated above, I am ambitious. Unlike my innate need to know, this character trait was drilled into me from a young age. “If you want to be successful you have to chase it.” “If you want to be successful you have to go the distance.” “If you want to be successful, don’t do what we did.” (This wasn’t stated so much as observed.) “If you want to be successful you need a solid job.” “If you want a solid job you need a degree.” Now, in our modern world there’s more than one way to get well-paying jobs. Trade school, working your way to the top, etc. However for my passions to fuel my career, I need a degree. As a more concrete example of my ambition, I’m already in pursuit of my associates degree even though I’m only a senior in high school. My school offers a concurrent enrollment program, where I take high school level and college level classes at the same time. I’ve been a member of the concurrent enrollment program since I was 14. How many high school freshmen are thinking about college, much less actively pursuing it? College is a dream come true. Simultaneously, college is the yellow brick road that I’m paving by hand to take me further into my dream career. College is more than a building, or an education even, to me. College is a physical representation of all my future could hold.

It's difficult to put yourself out there. It's difficult to apply to scholarships for the girl steeped in stubbornness and self-sufficiency. Applying for scholarships requires a confession to every organization you contact: I am in need. I am in need and I am willing to submit myself to scrutiny in order to receive financial aid. This admittance of need is even more difficult when faced with the fact that you're competing with others. These people might even have better reasons than you to deserve the money. That doesn't stop you from applying. That doesn't stop you from clapping politely and happily for the winner who in all likeliness earned it. However it does plant seeds of doubt. Am I good enough to catch the judge's eye? What will I do if I fail? The answer for me is pick myself up and keep going. Failure hurts, but it hurts like a skinned knee. It stings with each step, but it won't keep me from finishing the race. Nothing will stop me from pursuing my goals. In the face of difficulty, it's more important than ever to push forward. So though this has been difficult for me, I appreciate the difficulty. It stretches me as a person to ask for help. Even if I don't win a single cent in my pursuit for scholarships, I'll have gained that much more in experience and personal growth.

"What do you want to be when you grow up, baby girl?" "A writer!" No matter who I said it to, their reaction was the same. Their face would drop. If another adult was around they'd glance at one another. They'd tell me, kindly, that I would fail. They'd tell me, delicately, that one out of a million succeeded in getting published, and one out of those million became a bestseller. It's hard to sugarcoat that sort of thing. You might be thinking, why tell a kid something like that? This world, or should I say this career field, isn't kind to artists. Especially artists who grew up with financial hardship. Those adults around me didn't want me to remain trapped in the slippery pit of poverty. I understand where they were coming from, but I won't lie; they very nearly doused the fire, the light in my eyes. Writing is my reason. My reason for moving forward. My reason to chase through life. Writing is such a huge aspect of my life, you couldn't take it away without taking a bite out of my soul. Rejection after rejection hardened my hope, but didn't kill it. I've adjusted my dreams to fit a more realistic set of goals. I will get a bachelor's in english with a minor in creative writing, I will post videos about writing craft to help other writers improve their skills, I will continue to write my own stories. I don't expect an overnight success. I expect years of putting my nose to the grindstone and pursuing these goals for the love of them, not for the love of fame. The truth is, so what if I become successful? It would be incredible beyond my wildest dreams to succeed, but that was never the point of writing for me. I don't do this seeking renown or a hefty paycheck. I do this knowing I can sleep easier at night with my words on the page instead of bottled up in my mind. Writing is something I do for the joy of it, despite every single naysayer who whispered the fears of failure and rejection.