“Shewa!” My mom called for the 3rd time that hour. I walk into the sitting room expecting her to send me on another errand, but instead she says, “Go pack your bags we are moving to America”. I loved Nigeria, but people always talked about America and how much of a utopia it was; they had electricity 24/7 and if you went there your problems would just pack their bags and walk out the door. Naturally when we arrived at the airport, I was expecting floors so clean I could see my pores in their reflections, uniquely intricate designs and a different language. Instead, I was welcomed by rugs, neverending lines, and a zombie-like staff that barely even acknowledged our presence. “Why is this place so normal? Almost boring even,” My mother hugged me, delighted. “Isn’t this incredible?” I swallowed my thoughts and said “Yes, it is”. It has to be, this was your idea and…….you're an adult. For as long as I can remember things just happened and I went along with it. I’m too young to make these decisions anyways, I’d say to myself, I’ll just wait till senior year or college. I was always under the impression that I had time to figure it out. I was diligent with my school work because that was expected of a good student, I had to be a good student, good students got into college. I had goals and ambitions; But they were so shallow and baseless that when the lockdown happened and I was left to myself, it fell apart like a biscuit. Junior year was just me, myself and I. I had time to think about the choices I’d made, or lack thereof. My study buddy was Google and the only friend that stuck with me through quarantine was Youtube. I went into the year motivated, but as the classes mutated into something right of my nightmares. I gradually lost motivation. I'd drag myself out of bed just to open my computer and stare at my screen for 45 mins. At some point I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go to college. It was like an academic depression, I still got good grades but I was barely holding on. 2 weeks later while studying for Ap calc, which was just me staring at the wall, my sister walked in inquiring about my studies. I was reluctant at first but after 20 mins of interrogation, we came to a head. “I guess I’m just stupid!” I said frustrated “No, you just don't know what you want to do. No matter how hard you try you can’t drive a car without fuel, to work hard you need a purpose” It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It finally clicked when I took a CNA class this summer. Not to be dramatic but it was like stepping into a different side of the world, it was difficult but focused. It forced me to make my own decisions and in an environment where I was treated like a responsible individual by medical professionals, I realized that I’m not as naive as I thought and with enough knowledge I can make the right decisions. This time I went into the class lost and came out with a purpose; I loved working in a hospital. The rush of accomplishment I felt whenever I attended to a patient made me want to learn how to help them better. It's going to be hard but this is the flow that I’ve chosen and I plan on seeing it through

“Shewa!” My mom called for the 3rd time that hour. I walk into the sitting room expecting her to send me on another errand, but instead she says, “Go pack your bags we are moving to America”. I loved Nigeria, but people always talked about America and how much of a utopia it was; they had electricity 24/7 and if you went there your problems would just pack their bags and walk out the door. Naturally when we arrived at the airport, I was expecting floors so clean I could see my pores in their reflections, uniquely intricate designs and a different language. Instead, I was welcomed by rugs, neverending lines, and a zombie-like staff that barely even acknowledged our presence. “Why is this place so normal? Almost boring even,” My mother hugged me, delighted. “Isn’t this incredible?” I swallowed my thoughts and said “Yes, it is”. It has to be, this was your idea and…….you're an adult. For as long as I can remember things just happened and I went along with it. I’m too young to make these decisions anyways, I’d say to myself, I’ll just wait till senior year or college. I was always under the impression that I had time to figure it out. I was diligent with my school work because that was expected of a good student, I had to be a good student, good students got into college. I had goals and ambitions; But they were so shallow and baseless that when the lockdown happened and I was left to myself, it fell apart like a biscuit. Junior year was just me, myself and I. I had time to think about the choices I’d made, or lack thereof. My study buddy was Google and the only friend that stuck with me through quarantine was Youtube. I went into the year motivated, but as the classes mutated into something right of my nightmares. I gradually lost motivation. I'd drag myself out of bed just to open my computer and stare at my screen for 45 mins. At some point I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go to college. It was like an academic depression, I still got good grades but I was barely holding on. 2 weeks later while studying for Ap calc, which was just me staring at the wall, my sister walked in inquiring about my studies. I was reluctant at first but after 20 mins of interrogation, we came to a head. “I guess I’m just stupid!” I said frustrated “No, you just don't know what you want to do. No matter how hard you try you can’t drive a car without fuel, to work hard you need a purpose” It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It finally clicked when I took a CNA class this summer. Not to be dramatic but it was like stepping into a different side of the world, it was difficult but focused. It forced me to make my own decisions and in an environment where I was treated like a responsible individual by medical professionals, I realized that I’m not as naive as I thought and with enough knowledge I can make the right decisions. This time I went into the class lost and came out with a purpose; I loved working in a hospital. The rush of accomplishment I felt whenever I attended to a patient made me want to learn how to help them better. It's going to be hard but this is the flow that I’ve chosen and I plan on seeing it through.