The struggles that I have with mental health are currently ongoing. I recently have been diagnosed with Cyclothymic disorder, and I have struggled with being able to keep my mood regulated along with correcting my own behavioral mistakes. Before I was diagnosed with this disorder, I was treated for chronic depression, anxiety, and PTSD. These disorders impacted my ability to make connections with people, focus on school, and keep myself regulated. Making connections with others, to me, is almost like being behind a glass wall. My peers with regular lives are on the other side, carrying on with their conversations and friendship like it was second nature. I remember that I used to be able to make friends easily until I reached a certain age where my friends started pointing out the things that I did wrong. My mood would shift sporadically: one moment I'd be laughing, and the next, I'd be looking down at the ground not speaking at all. These changes would lead to the friends I had not knowing how to react to me and they eventually moved on. This is still a struggle, but for a year now, I’ve had a very good friend that has stuck by my side even through my worst episodes. For her, I am eternally grateful. The school has always been a passion of mine. I’ve always strived to learn more and completely understand what I’m learning in a given subject. Over the years it’s become increasingly difficult for me to remain focused in class. There are times when my mind becomes rampant with thoughts, overthinking everything that comes across it, and it’s almost like there is a weight in my head that is impossible to look through. Even now, during my senior year, I’ve found it harder and harder to remain entirely in my class. This could also be attributed to the major changes that are being made in my life, but after various conversations with a therapist, they believe that it is my mental disorder that is making these tasks that were once so easy, extremely difficult. When depression sets in after a period of constant searching for rushes of happiness, more commonly known as mania, it is difficult to find motivation in the simplest tasks. In this case, this would be putting my complete focus on the teacher. I’ve been fighting almost my entire life to reduce these factors, and it will remain a struggle even with outside help. As stated above, I go through different periods of emotions: lack of motivation and emptiness, as well as extreme elevation and energy. This makes it extremely difficult to remain regulated in day-to-day life. Without the help of medication (which will soon be put to use) I am essentially doing this free-handed. These mood swings come at random times, always the mania before the depression, but for an unknown amount of time. I am doing the best that I can remain on top of these swings, but there are some days when I slip through the cracks and it affects those around me and that is what is most concerning to me. Having these mental disorders has made my life extremely difficult and put immense strain on me to be able to regulate them. It’s almost like a juggling act- one ball slips through your grasp and the rest come tumbling down. They have affected my schooling by making it difficult to focus and maintain connections with those around me. Although it is difficult, I am still trying my best to remain positive and on top of my academics.