For most of my life, I learned to hide and stay quiet about who I was.
I’m a Communication major at UC San Diego, and I’m bisexual, but for nearly 20 years I kept that part of myself hidden. I grew up in a Christian environment where I was taught that liking girls meant I would go to hell. That belief didn’t just make me hide from others, it made me question myself constantly. I learned how to filter what I said, how I acted, and even how I thought, just to avoid feeling like something about me was wrong. It created a kind of silence in my life that took years for me to recognize.
Because of that, communication became more than just something I study, it became something I needed. Writing gave me a space where I didn’t have to hide or explain myself in the same way. Even when I didn’t fully understand what I was feeling, writing helped me process it. It became one of the only places where I could be honest, even if that honesty was just for myself.
At the same time, my life was shaped by loss. Over a short period of time, I lost multiple close family members and friends. This all happened while I was transitioning into college, and it took a serious toll on my mental and physical well-being. I struggled academically during that time and eventually lost my financial aid, which forced me into a position where I now have to fund my education on my own.
There were moments where everything felt overwhelming, like I was trying to carry too much at once. But even then, I didn’t stop. I am currently working to save $35,000 to fund my final year, balancing work and responsibility while trying to stay consistent. I won’t say I handled everything perfectly, but I kept going, and that matters to me.
Being part of the LGBTQ+ community, especially after spending so long feeling like I had to hide, has shaped how I see others. I understand what it feels like to question your place and feel uncertain about who you are. That perspective is something I carry with me, and it’s a big reason why I care about the work I want to do in the future.
I don’t have one clear path yet. I’m interested in using communication in public relations, publishing, or even construction, something I’ve been passionate about since I was 10. But no matter where I end up, I want to become a teacher or mentor. I want to help young people feel more confident in who they are and the direction they’re going.
Writing is a big part of that. It’s how I found my voice after years of silence. It’s how I make sense of my experiences, even the difficult ones. And it’s how I hope to connect with others, not by having everything figured out, but by being honest about the process of figuring it out.