Honestly...anything that is not a collection of porn. Let me elaborate! I am a fan of cute love stories just as much as the next hopeless romantic, but I truly feel like there has been a degradation in the quality of both (realistic) real-life relationships and parasocial relationships (in part) because of the rise in popularity with books that have their "spicy" content specifically emphasized. For example, I personally find myself perplexed when abusive, toxic, and weird age gap relationships are somewhat glossed over for the sake of smut. Smut?! Whats worse for me is when content creators or influencers with sizable followings encourage purchasing such mediocre literature for the sake of this smut. Depending on who you ask, I imagine this genre is met with a variety of opinions on how it has impacted Booktok. While I could go off on a tangent about this topic for the entire amount of allowable characters in this writing prompt, I now want to focus on the my ideal bookshelf. My ideal book shelf consists of works that allow me to experience escapism from a mindset that is vastly different from my own while also challenging my critical thinking skills and allowing me to formulate my own thought provoking interpretations. These types of titles are absolute must haves. The first book that comes to mind is, "A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes" by Suzanne Collins (who also famously wrote "The Hunger Games" trilogy). Like many others, I had a hunger games phase in the 2010's and watched all 4 of the original movies. I even went to see the Blockbuster film that released towards the end of last year and genuinely enjoyed it. Despite all of this, I was not convinced that I needed to read this prequel book until I watched a video where a creator began to do a deep analysis on the psyche of Coriolanus Snow (who's character is famously known for being one of the main antagonists in the original trilogy). I mention his character specifically because I was so intrigued by how his mind worked when it came to how he truly viewed others versus how he chose to interact with them. Despite knowing that he would become a terrible villain, I found myself rooting for him at some points. This conviction challenged the way that I think and I welcomed it. I found his inability to not view people as pawns interesting because we also got to see the consequences that followed as a result of him choosing self preservation more times than not. I also loved the writing choice to have Lucy Gray's fate be ambiguous because it intentionally left readers wanting to know more and speculating many possible outcomes with the little information we were given. These types of titles impact the Booktok community because they foster conversations that leave much to the imagination and allow people to ponder their own feelings after reading. They can also remain relevant for years to come because they tend to parallel our reality closer than one might initially think (but that is an interesting topic for another essay prompt at a later time).

I do not want to burn in hell. That is the easiest way to summarize what I've learned from the books that I've read. If movies have taught me anything, it's that I don't want to be on the wrong side of history on Judgement Day. My name is Abigail Maina and I have no desire to be aligned with the dangers of complacency that result from being a lukewarm Christian. It's because of my readings and content absorption that I'm working towards orienting myself and my goals with those of the Kingdom of God as a follower of Jesus Christ. I don’t consider myself to be someone who is an adamant believer in conspiracy theories because I don't want to be led astray but, I've always had a curiosity as to why the people who've made discoveries and innovations that would change the medical world always seem to go missing or wind up dead. It is a thought that has never left my mind and it stems from the same branch of curiosity that wants to find solutions for the problems in our world. This reason is part of the many motivations that I have for majoring in my field. Currently enrolled at Virginia Commonwealth University as a Biomedical Engineering major, I can confidently say that joining a campus ministry organization has been one of the most fulfilling accomplishments that I've made in my 19 short years on this earth. Being in a community with like-minded individuals who read and watch similar mediums and desire a relationship with Jesus is a comfort that I didn't know I longed for until I found it. In addition to the deep sense of solidarity that I experience while watching Biblical movies or shows and History Biopics, I enjoy finding new information about people in my respective field, reading up on their accomplishments, and watching videos about new developments. I also get excited when thinking about all of the possibilities that have yet to be explored or perfected! With degrees and certifications in this field, I will possess the skills and knowledge to effectively contribute to the engineering world. I envision myself as a person who designs, builds, programs, and creates ultimately for the benefit of others and in service of God. Despite my good intentions, I don't want to make the mistake of forgetting to include Him in everything that I do. If the enemy can't make you “bad”, he will make you busy and our society is notoriously busy. I've read about how important it is to not lose sight of my relationship with God due to pursuing worldly success. In this life, it's not enough to simply avoid evil. Being spiritually lackadaisical will not produce the desired outcome of eternity with God and I want to reiterate that I DO NOT want to burn in hell. Growing up in this era where any sort of book or movie is at your disposal has changed my perspective on where my priorities and goals truly lie. As I sit here writing this short essay with a $13,000 outstanding tuition balance in my account, I feel a strange sense of peace. I received a notification from the Bible app this evening with the verse of the day from Isaiah 26:4. It reads “Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself is the Rock eternal”. Perhaps this can be accredited to a well-timed coincidence but I choose to thank God for reminding me that I am not alone and that he is in control. Our God truly works in mysterious ways!

Ever Since I was young, art has been part of my life. I had an exciting passion for drawing and other crafts like creating pieces with Rainbow loom (in the height of its popularity) way back in my day. I even got to a point where I was asking family members to buy me supplies and sketchbook so that I could further develop my skill sets... but, one day I just stopped having a desire to create. I stopped having a desire to express myself through art. With middle school I found myself having less and less time to simply just be and create. Life was progressing so fast in other aspects that and I didn’t want to feel behind. I especially didn’t want to fall behind in school academically because I was being told that almost any career I might've been considering in the arts was not going to satisfy me in life. The reality of the situation is that, more often times than not, full time art related careers simply do not generate enough annual money for the average person to live off of (especially with the expenses of living in America). The perfectionist in me was terrified by the thought of being a failure and so, with this mentality, art seem to have less of an allure. It seemed to not satisfy me creatively anymore and it seemed to just become a possible distraction from school. It wasn’t until this past calendar school year, my junior year in high school, that I rekindled my appreciation for art and found a new likings for other forms of expression (film production) that I never considered to be art prior to this time. I loved being able to have the creative liberties to paint, draw, sculpt my own visions in assignments. I love that I was pushed outside of my comfortability to create with mediums that I would've passed up before. I love that I have art as a means of expression in this time of my life where a lot of things are just becoming stressful with new mile stones like graduation and college coming around the corner. Looking back, I regret letting myself lose the value in the freedom of expression that all art forms can offer. Truthfully, what I most regret most about the fact that I went years without creating is that I no longer looked towards art as an outlet for expression when going through tough periods in my family life from dealing with divorce to financial instability. I believe I struggled a whole lot more by internalizing my perplexed feelings than I would have if I had art in my life again. I don’t wish that on anyone else. For all future kids I wish the best and that they don’t lose themselves in the complexity, confusion, and responsibilities of growing up. With art in my life again, I can better express myself to others, as well as being able to comprehend and come to terms with my own feelings. I am not a phenomenal artist by any means but I believe everyone can be one in their own respects. Mental heath is vital and too many of us are loosing ourselves underneath the pressures to excel academically and in life.I wish for all kids in future generations to find a healthy balance within their outlet of expression. Art can offer this healthy outlet and should be valued. I believe some type of artistry is important to help kids stay sane and on track with school and life. I wish genuine happiness for them.