The most metamorphic interaction I had with classical music was in ninth grade. I came across Ravel's piece Une Barque Sur L'Ocean – to me, a white, sapphire blue, turquoise, and vibrant orange piece that feels exactly like a boat sailing on the waves – while watching a movie a friend recommended. As the scene opens with a close-up of the main character's face, the piece floats behind, unfurling a delicate moment filled with dense vulnerability. It was the first time I had heard a piece of music like that, and it hit me so hard that I instantly started crying. In that short moment, that piece helped me to understand that music was what I must devote my life to (as crazy as it may sound). It became, like many other moments after, a silent reminder of why I spent (and still spend) so many hours practicing, studying, and fighting for my dream of being a classical flutist. Before that moment, I listened to music devotedly but never knew it could supply so much catharsis. It felt like I finally saw colors I didn't know existed. After I exposed myself to the Impressionistic Era, I became addicted. Which thus began an ardent expedition down a rabbit hole of classical music. I believe music can vastly change one's world views, and I want to help others see why it is all I desire in life. I know I must be in music and show others what music can do to enhance every aspect of their lives. It is my dream to perform in an orchestra and present to each person in the crowd the feeling I felt so many times being in their position. I want to show them the power with which it can move a soul. As for the influence of books on my life, It is impossible to explain in one essay. From A Little Life by Hanya Yanigihara (my favorite book) to This is Your Brain on Music by Daniel Levitin to A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare, books have promoted me to think critically about topics I would never have looked into. As an artist, I feel it is paramount for me to read as it is a task that encourages me to flex both my left and right brain. For example, when reading Shakespeare, you must allow the flow of the poetry to speak in your head as well as comprehend what he is saying through his words. It is hard for many to understand him because of the old English, but with time and practice (and just saying it aloud), it comes naturally. Truthfully, if this doesn't stretch my brain, it exposes me to new thoughts, ideas, and experiences in life, allowing me to retain empathy for others. For example, in A Little Life, you walk through each of the main characters' lives and see how their past experiences affect their choices. Through Jude – one of the main characters – I experienced just how horribly one person's life can be and how, in each of his actions, laid a multitude of abuse in the past that caused him to see the world as he did. I learned that anyone I walk by on the street could be Jude and that it is imperative to treat everyone with kindness and try to meet them from where they may be coming from. If I could give one piece of advice to anyone my age, I would tell them to read more and, if possible, read daily.

It is 2009, and my parents are saving to move and achieve their dream job: owning and managing a mom-and-pop motel. When I say this sentence, many people start to categorize us. It's no secret that mom-and-pop's have a stigma of being owned by run-down, burnt-out couples. However, I am thankful to say that they worked tenaciously to save money as well as to keep it looking better each day. The principles of hard work and intellectual spending have run deep within my family's roots. Even when I was younger, I always looked to my father for financial advice with my 10-dollar monthly allowance. That is to say, for many years, I seldom followed it. However, approaching my first years of college, I have begun to learn the significance of money. Four months ago, from the coercion of my father and budgeting YouTube channels, I bought my own budget binder. I have one lilac binder for spending and one lemon yellow binder for saving. With a budget binder, you make envelopes for different categories like food, presents, college savings, and gas. Then, each month you get your paycheck and put however much money you think you will spend in each category into their respective envelopes. By making budgeting a game of sorts with my budget binder, I have begun to learn the value of my money. These past months I have seen myself save more money than all last year. No longer do I dip out of my savings, attempting to find every small way it can be "used towards my college education" when it, in fact, cannot. This isn't to say that I have figured it out yet. Most months, I end up scrambling for gas money or telling friends that I can't go out because I spent my entire month's food budget on boba and coffee in the first two weeks. That being said, I love to ask my dad questions about one of the things he loves most: finances. I know that if the numbers don't seem plausible, I can ask him to help (after all, getting the numbers correct is his favorite element of budgeting). I hope to learn this love from him and enhance my understanding of budgeting. Now I share how my father and my budgeting binder have helped me to budget with my younger friends who ask for college advice. To me, being wise with your money is one of the best ways to succeed at getting out of college with little debt. My journey with budgeting isn't over and I am glad to have someone like my father to help me through it.

“Are you excited? It’s your first concert with just you on the stage,” my friend Karissa chirps excitedly as we both sip on our drinks from the small town coffee store Perky Grinders. I shift, flashing an uneasy smile. I know she can tell that I am nervous about it. “It’s hard to tell. I know I am, but I am also so blindingly scared. I know that no matter what happens, I will get through it – I think I have done enough competitions to know that – but I still want to know that it will go well.” “Yeah, I know that feeling all too well,” she chuckles. “Every time I do a concert, I know that I will get through it, but I am still fearful of something horrible happening each time. Getting completely off with the pianist, saying something wrong about the piece, fumbling in the middle and never being able to collect myself…” I trail off. I can feel the anxiety starting to bubble up in my chest. She opens her mouth in objection and shuts it. I can tell she’s searching for the right words. “I am sure you will do very well. I have yet to hear you mess up as badly as you claim that you do.” She seems to interrupt herself, “Plus, think of everything you will get from this. Just remember courage. No matter what you do, people will still love it. They cannot tell when you mess up, so keep playing.” This past year I planned and performed my first solo flute recital. I had decided to make a CD for my senior project and thought it would be an excellent way to publicize it. However, I quickly learned how much work goes into making a CD as well as a concert. I am forever thankful to myself for sticking to it, though, because through it, I furthered my confidence, knowledge, resilience, and, most of all, my courage. These words from a close friend and this experience have stuck as a reminder to keep cultivating courage. Even though I still fear some parts of life, I have learned to push against the fear and refuse to give it the upper hand. This was not always the case for me, though. Throughout my middle school years, I jumped in between many friend groups. Unlike everyone else in my class, I found solace in things like drawing, painting, listening to music, and daydreaming. This subjected me to frequent bullying, and over time, my confidence plummeted. Like most other middle schoolers, I succumbed to the words of judgmental preteens. Through my freshman year, though, I made myself two vows: one - I would never get into relationships that felt obligatory, and two - I would never allow others to make me feel inadequate for the things in which I found joy. Now, as I look back on who I was then, I see how my courage to step out of the box and redefine myself has pushed me to be happier than ever. Every day I look to live a life of which middle school me would be proud. I remind myself that even though I still fear many obstacles, I have gone through so many others, so I can figure out a way through these new ones. Still, there is much growth for me to do. Constantly building my courage through college is detrimental to my career in music performance because of how often I spend sharing the most private parts of myself openly with a crowd.