Approximately 6 months ago I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. This information rocked my world. At the time, I was finishing up my second year at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. I saw the signs and I went to go see a therapist. After seeing the therapist, I entered into more rigorous treatment of seeing a dietician and physician. Since that time, I have given up therapy, the dietician has quit, but I still keep up my bimonthly appointments with the physician. I plan to see a dietician once again as well once one is hired. However, I have no plans at this time to enter back into therapy. I found that I was getting nothing accomplished in therapy except for becoming more fearful of my condition. I was progressively getting worse throughout the year. With the stress of school, work, and dance competition season, it was all very overwhelming. The only way I was able to move through it was with the help of my friends and family. I turned to them in my time of need. I was able to talk through more with them than I ever was in therapy. I hit one of my lowest points where I was waking up every morning cursing the fact that another day had come and lugging myself through my busy schedule with no real passion behind what I was doing. My friends were the first line of defense. I pulled them in closer instead of shutting down because I knew I needed to be heard. They sat with me for hours and allowed me the room to tell my story and they helped me think about and work through my own overwhelmed mind. Now, a third year Marine Science Major and Dance Minor, I still struggle daily with my eating disorder. However, I don’t wake up every morning cursing that the day has come. In fact, I have found joy in the mornings. I start everyday with a quick 20-minute ballet barre to help release any stress and get into the right mindset. I also joined a gym to help my body image issues and to help fix my relationship with food. I have found that since I have joined the gym, I have become happier in my body. Though there are still some days where I struggle to eat, or I purge when I do eat, I know that I am in a much better mental state than I was one month ago. All of this progress I made is directly correlated to the strength of my relationships. Opening up to my friends and family about this issue has opened new pathways in our relationships. I find myself having deep and real connections with those around me because in sharing my story, I have opened the doors for others to share their stories with me. I have friends who also struggle with eating disorders, so we often lean on each other. I have many friends and family who struggle with anxiety and stress and I am there to help them breathe and work through their mental struggles as well. I am not afraid to have people lean on me and share with me their burdens. I never think of it as something that I now have to carry with me, I view it as a precious gift that they have entrusted me with that has allowed them to lighten their load ever so slightly. Dance has also greatly influenced my mental health. I have been dancing for six years now, and it has truly saved me. Dance is the main route of stress relief for me, however, it has also been one of the main contributors to my struggles with body image. Many dancers describe their relationship to dance as a love-hate relationship. I don’t view my relationship the same way. I view my relationship with dance as something that hurts, but I am willing to work through that pain because the gifts it gives me and the love I have for it far outweighs the pain. After being diagnosed with my eating disorder my stress levels significantly increased because I viewed it as something that I didn’t have time for and didn’t have time to dedicate to figuring it out. Dance helped me work through so much. Dance was my outlet to my feelings. I probably worked through just about as much emotionally dancing as I did talking with my friends. When I dance, I am in my happiest state. When I was extremely stressed, I actually added more dance to my schedule to the point of dancing 20 hours a week. I have never felt better emotionally or performed better in school or at work than when I was dancing 20 hours a week. Dancing allowed me to simultaneously relieve stress and build social relationships with other dancers. Reflecting on my own experience in dance, I created a kids program at the ballroom dance studio I work at in San Luis Obispo, Nexus. I created a dance camp over the summer of 2023, outreach to Cambria Grammar Elementary in December 2023, and more camps to come in summer 2024 with classes in fall 2024. I created this program with the goal that kids will build connections and confidence through ballroom dancing. Ballroom dancing is an inherently social dance sport and it helps to build and foster relationships. It also teaches many other life skills, such as respect, teamwork, and communication, which I incorporate into the syllabus of the camps and classes. Through this experience I have found the joy of teaching and the joy of giving children a new perspective on dance that isn’t competition and body issues, but instead relationships with others and confidence with themselves. It is something I hope to continue in my future career goals.

Approximately 6 months ago I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. This information rocked my world. At the time, I was finishing up my second year at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. I saw the signs and I went to go see a therapist. After seeing the therapist, I entered into more rigorous treatment of seeing a dietician and physician. Since that time, I have given up therapy, the dietician has quit, but I still keep up my bimonthly appointments with the physician. I plan to see a dietician once again as well once one is hired. However, I have no plans at this time to enter back into therapy. I found that I was getting nothing accomplished in therapy except for becoming more fearful of my condition. I was progressively getting worse throughout the year. With the stress of school, work, and dance competition season, it was all very overwhelming. The only way I was able to move through it was with the help of my friends and family. I turned to them in my time of need. I was able to talk through more with them than I ever was in therapy. I hit one of my lowest points where I was waking up every morning cursing the fact that another day had come and lugging myself through my busy schedule with no real passion behind what I was doing. My friends were the first line of defense. I pulled them in closer instead of shutting down because I knew I needed to be heard. They sat with me for hours and allowed me the room to tell my story and they helped me think about and work through my own overwhelmed mind. Now, a third year Marine Science Major and Dance Minor, I still struggle daily with my eating disorder. However, I don’t wake up every morning cursing that the day has come. In fact, I have found joy in the mornings. I start everyday with a quick 20-minute ballet barre to help release any stress and get into the right mindset. I also joined a gym to help my body image issues and to help fix my relationship with food. I have found that since I have joined the gym, I have become happier in my body. Though there are still some days where I struggle to eat, or I purge when I do eat, I know that I am in a much better mental state than I was one month ago. All of this progress I made is directly correlated to the strength of my relationships. Opening up to my friends and family about this issue has opened new pathways in our relationships. I find myself having deep and real connections with those around me because in sharing my story, I have opened the doors for others to share their stories with me. I have friends who also struggle with eating disorders, so we often lean on each other. I have many friends and family who struggle with anxiety and stress and I am there to help them breathe and work through their mental struggles as well. I am not afraid to have people lean on me and share with me their burdens. I never think of it as something that I now have to carry with me, I view it as a precious gift that they have entrusted me with that has allowed them to lighten their load ever so slightly.

I am currently a third year Marine Science Major and Dance Minor at California Polytechnic State University San Luis Obispo. A little over 6 months ago I was diagnosed with an eating disorder. I saw the signs and felt the changes and I went to seek help. I entered into consistent therapy, dietician services, and medical check-ups. At the time, this newfound information scared me to my core and stressed me out, for I was in peak midterm into final season. It was the last thing that I needed as I balanced school, work at a ballroom dance studio, a dance performance, and my commitment to the ballroom dance team during our competition season. However, I knew that I needed to take the time to really dig deep and focus on myself more than I had been during the year. I found that journaling helped me to work through a lot of my stress and provided an outlet for all my overwhelming thoughts. It allowed me the space to reflect on my thoughts from the day or my thoughts about food and body. Dance is also the main route of stress relief for me. So, I started dancing about 20 hours a week to help cope with my stress and overwhelming thoughts about food, body image, and financials. This change really helped, and I ended up having one of the best quarters of my college career. I was engaged in and passed all my classes, I felt happier, and I grew all of my friendship bonds. Dance is the biggest influence in my life. For my mental health, I continue to spend many hours in the dance studio and on the social dance floor to this day. My friends have also been a major influence in my life. I am an extravert through and through and having my friends there for support allowed me to deepen our bonds and work through any struggles that I found difficult to work through in therapy. I could not have better friends. I know that they will always be there for me if I am struggling and need someone to lean on. I am also always there for them and it gives me great joy to help them the way they have helped me. I know what it is like to be lonely in college as I spent the first three months alone, talking to no one unless absolutely necessary. It was a real low point for me at the beginning of college and it was hard to push through. Once I joined the ballroom team, I found myself around people all the time and soon I was hanging out with people outside of ballroom and my circle of friends stated to grow. It continues to grow to this day and I know that my college experience would be vastly different and much more difficult if I did not have them around.