From a young age I have always been acknowledged for being a strong-willed and determined individual. I never understood the true importance of those words, until now. They’ve provided me with a tremendous amount of fortitude but have also caused me much damage. With these incredibly hard working & determined characteristics of mine, I have demonstrated them throughout the course of my high school career in different ways. I have always felt insecure about myself, whether it be about my academic stance, my athletic abilities, or my physical appearance. Middle school was not ideal, dealing with the pain of being bullied and outcast by my “friends'', and trying to figure out who I was. Feeling as though I was suffocating on the inside, while I wore a mask that projected happiness. At a time when nothing was in my control, I decided I would control myself. Freshman year began and I had accomplished my goal of losing weight. I looked fit and happy, but on the inside, I was drowning in anxiety and fear of actually hating myself. As I shrunk, so did my true self. In turn this affected me academically, athletically, emotionally, and most of all, physically. Fear began to consume everyone who loved me. In an effort to save my life, I was admitted to a treatment center for my eating disorder. The road to recovery from this mental illness was not easy in the slightest, through battling my demons at the age of 15, to struggling from multiple relapses during COVID. As the numbers trickled down on the scale and the thinner my body got, I was still unhappy with myself. I had to learn to love who I am and my body and not focus on the misconstrued ideas I had developed about my appearance. With all of these struggles, concurring this battle made me stronger. I am sharing this story with you today because it illustrates the most valuable and important goal of my life; helping others who are struggling with their own demons and difficulties no matter what they are, allowing them to be heard, and having the ability to feel a sense of community and purpose in their lives. With the craziness of the world right now we are enveloped in a fog of constant chaos and trepidation. Throughout my experience I learned so much about not only myself, but the fact that I can be a voice for others who are struggling and need help.

From a young age I have always been acknowledged for being a strong-willed and determined individual. I never understood the true importance of those words, until now. They’ve provided me with a tremendous amount of fortitude but have also caused me much damage. With these incredibly hard working & determined characteristics of mine, I have demonstrated them throughout the course of my high school career in different ways. I have always felt insecure about myself, whether it be about my academic stance, my athletic abilities, or my physical appearance. Middle school was not ideal, dealing with the pain of being bullied and outcast by my “friends'', and trying to figure out who I was. Feeling as though I was suffocating on the inside, while I wore a mask that projected happiness. At a time when nothing was in my control, I decided I would control myself. Freshman year began and I had accomplished my goal of losing weight. I looked fit and happy, but on the inside, I was drowning in anxiety and fear of actually hating myself. As I shrunk, so did my true self. In turn this affected me academically, athletically, emotionally, and most of all, physically. Fear began to consume everyone who loved me. In an effort to save my life, I was admitted to a treatment center for my eating disorder. The road to recovery from this mental illness was not easy in the slightest, through battling my demons at the age of 15, to struggling from multiple relapses during COVID. As the numbers trickled down on the scale and the thinner my body got, I was still unhappy with myself. I had to learn to love who I am and my body and not focus on the misconstrued ideas I had developed about my appearance. With all of these struggles, concurring this battle made me stronger. Now, I am healthy and strong. I am sharing this story with you today because it illustrates the most valuable and important goal of my life; helping others who are struggling with their own demons and difficulties no matter what they are, allowing them to be heard, and having the ability to feel a sense of community and purpose in their lives. With the craziness of the world right now we are enveloped in a fog of constant chaos and trepidation. Throughout my experience I learned so much about not only myself, but the fact that I can be a voice for others who are struggling and need help. Further, with this determination and drive, I have chosen to venture into the field of Criminology at the University of New England. I chose this field because I have always found behaviorism to be interesting- understanding why someone acts the way that they do, what circumstances led to them becoming who they are. Although this can be a vigorous career path, I feel as though I will thrive within its structure and enjoy the possible career paths available with this major.

From a young age I have always been acknowledged for being a strong-willed and determined individual. I never understood the true importance of those words, until now. They’ve provided me with a tremendous amount of fortitude but have also caused me much damage. With these incredibly hard working & determined characteristics of mine, I have demonstrated them throughout the course of my high school career in different ways. I have always felt insecure about myself, whether it be about my academic stance, my athletic abilities, or my physical appearance. Middle school was not ideal, dealing with the pain of being bullied and outcast by my “friends'', and trying to figure out who I was. Feeling as though I was suffocating on the inside, while I wore a mask that projected happiness. At a time when nothing was in my control, I decided I would control myself. Freshman year began and I had accomplished my goal of losing weight. I looked fit and happy, but on the inside, I was drowning in anxiety and fear of actually hating myself. As I shrunk, so did my true self. In turn this affected me academically, athletically, emotionally, and most of all, physically. Fear began to consume everyone who loved me. In an effort to save my life, I was admitted to a treatment center for my eating disorder. The road to recovery from this mental illness was not easy in the slightest, through battling my demons at the age of 15, to struggling from multiple relapses during COVID. As the numbers trickled down on the scale and the thinner my body got, I was still unhappy with myself. I had to learn to love who I am and my body and not focus on the misconstrued ideas I had developed about my appearance. With all of these struggles, concurring this battle made me stronger. I am sharing this story with you today because it illustrates the most valuable and important goal of my life; helping others who are struggling with their own demons and difficulties no matter what they are, allowing them to be heard, and having the ability to feel a sense of community and purpose in their lives. With the craziness of the world right now we are enveloped in a fog of constant chaos and trepidation. Throughout my experience I learned so much about not only myself, but the fact that I can be a voice for others who are struggling and need help.

From a young age I have always been acknowledged for being a strong-willed and determined individual. I never understood the true importance of those words, until now. They’ve provided me with a tremendous amount of fortitude but have also caused me much damage. With these incredibly hard working & determined characteristics of mine, I have demonstrated them throughout the course of my high school career in different ways. I have always felt insecure about myself, whether it be about my academic stance, my athletic abilities, or my physical appearance. Middle school was not ideal, dealing with the pain of being bullied and outcast by my “friends'', and trying to figure out who I was. Feeling as though I was suffocating on the inside, while I wore a mask that projected happiness. At a time when nothing was in my control, I decided I would control myself. Freshman year began and I had accomplished my goal of losing weight. I looked fit and happy, but on the inside, I was drowning in anxiety and fear of actually hating myself. As I shrunk, so did my true self. In turn this affected me academically, athletically, emotionally, and most of all, physically. Fear began to consume everyone who loved me. In an effort to save my life, I was admitted to a treatment center for my eating disorder. I am sharing this story with you today because it illustrates the most valuable and important goal of my life; helping others who are struggling with their own demons and difficulties no matter what they are, allowing them to be heard, and having the ability to feel a sense of community and purpose in their lives. With the craziness of the world right now we are enveloped in a fog of constant chaos and trepidation. Throughout my experience I learned so much about not only myself, but the fact that I can be a voice for others who are struggling and need help. Further, with this determination and drive, I have chosen to venture into the field of Criminology at the University of New England. I chose this field because I have always found behaviorism to be interesting- understanding why someone acts the way that they do, what circumstances led to them becoming who they are. Although this can be a vigorous career path, I feel as though I will thrive within its structure and enjoy the possible career paths available with this major.

Hello, my name is Abbigail Holloway. I am an undergraduate at the University of New England studying Criminology with a minor in Psychology. I am applying to this scholarship because I have been affected by the passing of my grandfather. My story is a little different from others who have struggled with the passing of a family member. I was born about a year after my mother's father passed, and a few years after my father's. Both suffered from alcoholism. My mother's father had struggled with mental health battles and used drinking as a coping mechanism. My dad's father passed unexpectedly in a recovery facility for his drinking problems, he wanted to get help, but sadly it was too late. This really effected my father because of how close his relationship was with his dad. Both of my parents were in their early twenties when they lost their parent. My mother has opened up to me about her struggles with her dad during his last year, however, that never stopped her from trying to help him as much as she could. This sadly wasn't enough, as he committed suicide, and my mother was the one to find his body. The trauma my mom went through severely affected her body. This is important to note because my mom had me a little less than a year after the tragedy without knowing she was with child. Her bodies response to trauma prevented her from "showing" her pregnancy. Even though I was a surprise my mother has always told me that I was her savior. The death of my grandfather affects me because it is part of the reason why I am here today. I have helped my mom through some of her lowest points in recent years, holding her in my arms while she was sobbing after finding the final note from her father, and telling her that it's going to be okay. I will never be able to see either of my grandfathers, but their stories have helped me spread awareness about mental health. I have used journaling as a form of coping. It has helped me deal with all the struggles I have faced in my life, as I suffer from anxiety and depression. As well, part of spreading mental health awareness, drug abuse, and personal recovery my education at UNE has helped me understand the aspects of these diseases. I want to help others understand that these diseases take over and control people and we need to be more aware of this. Finally, my mother is one of my biggest influences and I look up to her every day of my life. I wish I could be half the woman she is and as strong as her.

My name is Abbigail Holloway and I am a high school senior at Turners Falls High School in Massachusetts. My high school years have been quite challenging since the pandemic hit, but before that I was fighting for something bigger, I was fighting for control over my life. I suffered the worst demons I had ever seen before. I had an eating disorder that destroyed me from the inside and out. Through that rough period in my life I learned the importance of self confidence, one’s strength, and the determination to overcome the obstacles in front of me. This fight led me to excel in my career at school because I wanted to learn and be the best student I could be for my future. My family has never been given the luxury to do whatever we want like money wasn’t an issue because that’s not our reality. So because of this I (as a daughter and a hardworking student) want to work hard in order to somehow pay back my parents when they are older. I have been inducted into the National Honor Society, gotten high honor roll almost every year, and currently I am an active student at our local community college called GCC (Greenfield Community College) as I am a part of the Dual Enrollment Program. As a student who is currently getting a taste into college classes I have grown a stronger interest and passion for learning. All these steps have led me to leave a legacy on my family because a lot of my firsts are also my families firsts. I will be the first one to go straight to college in my family because both my parents never went, neither of my parents ever were able to be a part of a Dual Enrollment Program, neither of them were inducted into NHS, and neither were pushed as students like they push me. All these accomplishments add value to our family because without my family’s support and motivation I wouldn’t have been able to achieve them all. Furthermore, I want to use all of the skills that I have learned in my field of studies (Criminology) to help others who may be struggling with life and/or self demons who won’t go away. The ability to help others based upon my own experiences and knowledge means so much to me because everyone deserves a chance and an opportunity to excel at something they’re passionate towards.

My name is Abbigail Holloway and I am a high school senior from Turners Falls High School. Harry D. Thomson worked hard for every single thing in his life, he had struggles and overcame them with ambition and determination. This strength helped guide him through some of the toughest challenges he faced, like him, I have overcome many struggles of my own with strength and determination. My high school years have been quite challenging since the pandemic hit, but before that I was fighting for something bigger, I was fighting for control over my life. I suffered the worst demons I had ever seen before. I had an eating disorder that destroyed me from the inside and out. Through that rough period in my life I learned the importance of self confidence, one’s strength, and the determination to overcome the obstacles in front of me. This scholarship would help me achieve my goals of helping others in the world who are struggling with their own demons and difficulties. I want to use the skills that I learned to help instill confidence and determination into someone else and lastly help them find their own strength. Through all my struggles I have faced I want to help make a difference in our community.

Fear. A term used to describe an individual who feels afraid of (someone or something) perceived to be dangerous, painful, or threatening. Fear follows us wherever we go; whether it be walking a dark street at night, packing your bags and starting life brand new, or the unavoidable unknown. All are examples of life's funny ways of teaching us how to deal with panic and dismay. What happens, though, when the thing you fear the most is yourself. How do you learn to accept the person looking back at you in the mirror? From a young age I have always been acknowledged for being a strong-willed and determined individual. Whether it be persistence as a toddler to do things my way or the strength as a 15 year old to overcome an eating disorder. I never understood the true importance of those words, until now. They’ve provided me with a tremendous amount of fortitude but have also caused me much damage. I have always felt insecure about myself, whether it be about my academic stance, my athletic abilities, or my physical appearance. Middle school was not ideal, dealing with the pain of being bullied and outcast by my “friends'', while also discovering my sexuality. This culminated in a lost girl drowning in self doubt and confusion. Feeling as though I was suffocating on the inside, all while I wore a mask that projected happiness. At a time when nothing was in my control, I decided I would control myself. The road to weight loss is a dangerous one. Constantly trying to move forward avoiding bumps that throw you off course. I scoured the internet for answers on how to lose weight, which led me down a rabbit hole filled with misconstrued ideas of what it means to be “healthy”. Freshman year began and I had accomplished my goal of losing weight. I looked fit and happy, but on the inside, I was drowning in anxiety and fear of actually hating myself. The new goal became a necessity for more weight to fly off of the scale, forcing people to start looking at me differently. I deprived myself in order to achieve the idealistic “pretty girl” we see in our society’s social norms. As I shrunk, so did my true self. In turn this affected me academically, athletically, emotionally, and most of all, physically. Friends and family began to worry, my parents became broken and overwhelmed with fear. Their fears continued to grow as time quickly slipped away. In an effort to save my life, I was admitted to a treatment center for my eating disorder. For several months my mother drove me to and from treatment for about 8 hours each day. During that time, I was unable to attend school, as it was imperative that I focus on my health. However, I refused to let this hinder me academically. I worked with a tutor and did everything necessary to ensure that I was not falling behind. My time spent in treatment opened my eyes to the struggles that surround so many teens and children every day. Learning not only about myself, but also how horribly common and complex these struggles are to so many. According to the ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) 9% of the U.S population, roughly 28.8 million Americans, struggle with an eating disorder. With that, 2.7% of teens in the U.S ages 13-18 years old suffer from an eating disorder. I’ve come to realize this is only a chapter in my story.