The girls huddled in cliques; their hypercritical eyes darted up and down at me as I walked through the halls in my new, blue, skinny jeans and knitted rose pink sweater, confidently laid out the night before. Trust. I sought it. Delivered it. Expected it. But it’s just a five-letter word. In fact, the girls’ determination to befriend me was only to share with others the things I had told them in confidence. Afterwards, came the intentional exclusion from their groups when I wouldn’t comply. But it was the seemingly mild, yet soul-puncturing phrase, “You’re so stupid!” that wounded me daily and echoed continuously in my ears, from one classroom seat to the next. My inner strength weakened. It didn’t matter that I was a published author and a good student with decent grades; they still managed to steal power from me with name-calling, insults, and intimidation tactics. Bullying in middle school impaired my confidence and led to apprehension and anxiety.
At the conclusion of seventh grade, my family moved to another area where I attended a different school. With a fresh start and my admittance to a group of new friends who cherished me, I steadily regained the confidence I had been robbed of in the past. Equally important to me was the opportunity to examine what leads people to bully others and to think critically about my past experience. In my research, I discovered three eye-opening facts: almost 30% of youth in the United States are involved in bullying as either a perpetrator, a target, or both; half of bullying situations stop when a peer intervenes; and nowadays, the average American is less empathetic than 75% of Americans were 30 years ago. Empathy is a quality needed to form friendships. It’s necessary for teamwork and, in the larger scheme of the world, it’s required for peaceful coexistence. It was devastating for me to find out that we seemed to be losing that trait in present-day society.
My experience, research, discovery, and subsequent growth motivated me to take action, so in high school I decided to informally mentor young girls in my community who had experienced bullying. I coached them on differentiating between healthy versus damaging friendships, provided them with tools to combat bullying, and helped raise their self-esteem through conversations and activities. I soon realized that this circle of impact needed to grow wider.
During the pandemic, I founded Project Empowerment––a 5-week online anti-bullying program designed to foster empathy and courage in young girls (project-empowerment.com). Over a period of 6 months, I developed a comprehensive curriculum for the project. The idea is to catch girls at the age preceding middle school and have them examine issues on a multitude of levels: self, family, school, community, and the world to see how their actions impact others.
Participants in Project Empowerment are called Care Agents who are trained to be outstanding upstanders not merely passive bystanders. They engage in an array of interactive activities and discussions, respond to scenarios to gauge their response to bullying and empathy levels, receive tips and self-help skills to deal with bullying, build a support system, and perform acts of service to see beyond the bounds of one’s privilege. I am currently training more trainers so that I can offer the sessions to more students. At the last two sessions we had enrollment over capacity which made me very excited that not only do I see the value in this work but parents and students see that too. I am also looking to partner with a corporate or nonprofit agency who can support this work financially so that we can continue to offer these sessions for free.
My work with Project Empowerment led me to receive the KVUE Our Future Award—a recognition by the Austin ABC TV affiliate of students in Central Texas who excel in some way. I also received a grant from The Gathering for Justice—a social justice organization founded by Harry Belafonte.
My experiences have shaped who I am today. I plan to pursue my education in medicine, where I will follow my passion of improving the lives of children. For my IB extended essay, I am writing a research paper on the effects of racial bias within the medical field. Through my research, I hope to gain insight into the manners in which racial stereotypes and bias impact the administration of care. I hope to continue working on that research while at college and eventually develop tools and training to address such bias. As a future physician, I believe it to be of utmost importance to learn and address the signs of an unconscious bias in medicine and to ensure fair and equitable access of quality medical care to all—regardless of race, color, gender, or sexual orientation.
Having witnessed––and survived––strong bonds between close friends curdle and turn toxic, I have learned, as a social activist, that progress is possible. My goal is to continue building a larger community of caring individuals through Project Empowerment, knowing that one empathetic heart is all it takes to create a safe space for children who are marginalized or ostracized.