Aaliyah Rogers Debunking the stigma around mental health in my community Growing up, I always heard “never tell people your business”. And I never questioned it, I agreed that everyone doesn't need to know, every personal detail of your life. However, as I got older I soon realized just how damaging that mentality and rhetoric really are, especially amongst my community moreover their ability to seek help. I was heavily bullied in middle school for being “dark-skinned” it was my very first experience with colorism. And I didn’t know who to turn to, the teachers turned a blind eye every single time, even when the entire class ganged up on me. I was so hopeless, I remember really so small and insignificant. I hated it, I wanted to end my life in middle school, merely because the teachers neglected to do anything. I remember feeling the knots in my stomach when it was time to go to school, enduring this brutality every day for two years. I was younger then, and I didn’t really know anything about suicide, but I knew that I didn’t want to exist anymore. I wanted the pain to just go away. Oftentimes, I tried to hold my breath but psychologically your body won't let you end it that way. I do not believe that adults prioritize the mental health of children as much as they should. I was simply told to “not care about what those other kids say”. But no one truly understood, no one had to experience the torment that I endured every single day. I was a perfect student, I barely missed any days, but my love for school quickly diminished. I should’ve felt protected at school and yet I was neglected. I hated it, I didn’t want to go through this anymore, “why me?” “I didn’t even make myself and I am getting bullied for being dark-skinned”. I tried to find ways to not get bullied, my first tactic was to buy a foundation that was several shades lighter than my own skin color, and as you could imagine that did not look good at all. Sadly it didn’t even work, I honestly just made it worse. But that was my thought process at eleven years old. The next thing I noticed was that these kids were so into name-brand clothes, and at this time it was Aeropostale. That was the cool thing in 7th grade, and somehow someway it was no longer “cool” that following year. I remember begging my mom for these kinds of clothes, they were expensive and we were in the lower range of middle class. I finally received a couple of items for Christmas, I believe it was, I remember it was a special occasion. And I remember my eyes lighting up and a feeling of relief coming over my body. When I returned to school in my new clothes, I was complimented and the bullying subsided until that wasn’t “cool” anymore and it was back to the regularly scheduled program. After some time, I finally told my favorite aunt what I was going through, after all, she was a similar complexion to me and I felt like she could relate to what I was experiencing at school. And guess what, she experienced exactly what I was going through. Finally, I found someone to talk to, someone that didn’t turn a blind eye, someone that my words resonated with. My aunt began to teach me self-love, the importance of mental health, and the tools to deal with how I was feeling. I sought out therapy because I believe that it is important to improve our quality of life and our mental health. I was called “overdramatic” by my mother for going to therapy, but I had to understand that she was a product of the mentality to never tell anyone your business. She grew up suppressing her emotions as a coping mechanism, which is very unhealthy. Furthermore, mental health is so stigmatized in my community, and even going to therapy is considered weak, asking for help means you’re no longer a strong person. This lack of awareness about the importance of mental health is deadly. Just thinking about these times, makes me emotional all over again. The journey I went through to find self-love and my promise to spread love and compassion to others regardless of their circumstances. Because of these challenges, that I’ve dealt with, I’ve not only become stronger mentally. But I’ve also become more compassionate and aware of the importance of seeking help and feeling both supported and validated in doing so. Present-day, I check on the youth in both my community and family more than anyone else, I let them know that I am a safe space for them. I also encourage my family to go to therapy, and I explain to them why it’s so important. Therapy saved my life. Therapy equipped me with the tools to reconnect with my parents and to understand that I cannot change anyone, I only accept them for who and where they are. However, I do not have to subject myself to toxic behavior. My ultimate goal is to offer yoga and meditation to schools in my community ( as I will be yoga teacher certified this year). As well as hosting therapy sessions for children, parents, and families in partnership with my best friend who is a therapist. Although my career goal is naturopathic medicine, which further elaborates on the connection between nutrition and its impact on mental health. I am actively continuing education for counseling and mental wellness. I hope that one day, access to such services is a basic human right because we all deserve to be healthy; mentally and physically. Mental health matters.