A few years ago, I couldn't imagine living long enough to graduate high school, but against all odds, I not only graduated in February but also proudly received my diploma in May. My journey to this point has been fraught with immense challenges stemming from my battles with self-harm, suicidal thoughts, insomnia, severe panic attacks, and anxiety. Diagnosed with depression and anxiety, my struggles culminated in a virtual hospitalization in 2020, where I felt isolated and unheard during group therapy sessions over Zoom. The sessions felt impersonal, and my isolation grew deeper, amplifying my sense of helplessness.
Returning to normal schooling didn't alleviate my struggles; instead, my symptoms worsened, compounded by difficulty finding a suitable therapist covered by my insurance. The lack of professional support intensified my feelings of despair and hopelessness. This led to another hospitalization for suicidal tendencies, where I felt misunderstood and told to simply "Be better." The dismissive attitudes I encountered only deepened my sense of isolation.
I spent about a year bouncing from provider to provider, then gave up on trying to get the right care, and ended up keeping the thoughts and struggles to myself. I struggled daily with getting out of bed, maintaining focus in class, and battling destructive thoughts while driving, especially while driving. The relentless weight of mental illness made me feel like my brain was conspiring against me. I developed terrible destructive coping skills that worried my parents, my teachers, my friends. My academic performance suffered as I missed more classes and fell behind on assignments.
This got bad enough for me that I was seriously considering suicide. During my subsequent in-person hospitalizations, I finally found effective medication and a trusted therapist. Even amidst hospital stays, I remained dedicated to my education, overcoming the debilitating effects of depression and anxiety to progress academically. I was worried I wouldn't pass that year of school. I almost didn't because of my attendance rate. I missed out on tests, projects, huge points to my grade at the end of the year. It wasn't until the hospital I went to helped me to finish up the year.
Today, I remain self-harm free after almost three years of being clean. I've not only completed high school but also earned college credits and completed a media arts pathway with certifications. My video work has even been featured on news platforms and different content sites. I aim with this line of work to highlight the power of storytelling in spreading awareness about mental health. Through dedication and the right medication regimen, I've managed to stabilize my sleep patterns and mood, recently starting on mood stabilizers to further the support in my journey to recovery.
My passion for media arts has deepened through a part-time job as a freelance media creator for Bridgehaven Mental Health Services, where I produce and share recovery stories of members on their YouTube channel. This role has broadened my perspective on resilience and hope, witnessing firsthand how individuals navigate and thrive despite their mental health challenges. Seeing others overcome their struggles has reinforced my commitment to using media as a tool for advocacy and change.
Looking ahead, I aspire to enroll in Full Sail University's film degree program to amplify narratives on mental health. Through filmmaking, I aim to portray both the hardships of trauma and the possibility of recovery, advocating for destigmatization and compassion. My ultimate goal is to inspire others by showcasing stories of resilience and healing, demonstrating that recovery is achievable with support and determination. The prospect of sharing these powerful stories on a larger platform excites me, as I believe in the transformative power of storytelling.
With your support, I am confident I can fulfill my dream of becoming a filmmaker while continuing my journey of recovery. Your consideration for your first pick would mean the world to me.
Thank you for believing in my potential and taking the time to read through my essay, considering me as a candidate.