Though it has been 15 years, I vividly recall the moment that now motivates me to begin a career in nursing. I was a teenager heading down a bad path – experimenting with drugs and struggling with overwhelming depression. My parents, distraught and desperate, asked my pediatrician for help. Despite her concern, she did not know how to help me. If her kindness were enough, I would have lived a quiet life after that visit. That is not how my story unfolded. My battle with substance use disorder, and subsequent long-term recovery, has given my life purpose. My recovery encourages me to seek beauty, grow, and forgive. While I hold no resentment toward that pediatrician, I am forced to acknowledge how the system failed me and many others. I believe that skilled early intervention is both vital and effective in preventing or treating substance use disorder.
I recently completed my studies to become a pediatric primary care nurse practitioner and I am now beginning a graduate certificate program to obtain additional certification as a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner. My dream is to change the way we approach mental health care. Our current system views mental health and physical health as two separate entities, despite their undeniable interconnectedness. I dream of working in a pediatric primary care office that will allow me longer appointment windows to manage both. With certifications as a PNP and a PMHNP, I can offer comprehensive care to my patients by addressing their physical and their mental health needs simultaneously. Waitlists for pediatric psychiatric care are often impossibly long, leaving children, adolescents, and their families feeling helpless while they wait for access to specialized services. My dual certifications will allow me to offer integrated mental and physical healthcare in the primary care office. By combining these services into one visit, I can improve access, but also, I can reduce the stigma associated with mental healthcare by normalizing it as another component of routine primary care. By utilizing the knowledge gained through my recovery, as well as my nursing education, I hope to be of valuable service – prepared to effectively help with the diverse set of challenges our youth experience.
My past experiences with the failures of our healthcare system, and my passion for helping others and advocating for improved access to quality mental health care, have led me to nursing. Nursing is more than just the medical care we provide. It encompasses medical interventions, health guidance, but also compassionate care. Having the unique privilege of walking through illness with my patients—through highs and lows, challenges and recoveries, tragedies and miracles—inspires me. When my patients struggle, I hope to bring a candle into their darkness. When my patients thrive, I want to celebrate beside them. Genuine, humanistic, compassionate connection has drawn me to nursing.
While my ultimate goal is to guide children and adolescents to optimal physical and mental health, I anticipate that one day I will see a patient who reminds me of myself. I will see someone, full of potential. I will see an inner light dimming. I will recognize the hopelessness, fear, and apathy because I saw that in the mirror long ago. When this adolescent asks for help, I will be ready.
When I was just under 5 years old my brother was diagnosed with stage four Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I spent many days in my early childhood in the pediatric cancer wing of Loma Linda. I was a child who was scared of everything, and seeing my brother connected to a bunch of machines was no exception. I was terrified. I remember the nurses bringing my brother masks and gowns with cartoon characters on them to make it less scary for me when I visited him. To this day my family talks about these nurses so highly. My brother was so angry all the time because what he was going through wasn't fair, and he took it out on everyone, but the nurses never stopped being kind. It was like they understood where his anger was coming from and continued to try and brighten his spirits. Their attitudes and help inspire me to this day.
These nurses saw my brother, and my family for that matter, at his lowest moments. That is what is so unique about nurses, they get to connect to the patient in a way that doctors and other team members do not. Throughout my schooling, I have learned that this is a privilege that nurses have. Nurses are so often referred to as those who do the “grunt work”; the stuff nobody wants to do, and I find this is always talked about in a negative way. I believe that by seeing what nurses do as a privilege rather than a burden, changes everything. It is a privilege to be able to help someone who cannot help themselves. It is a privilege to share these intimate moments with other people and be there for them in a way only nurses can be. The nurses I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, like those who helped my brother and even those who have helped me, have only reinforced this idea for me. It makes all the difference when a nurse treats patients with compassion and a warm friendly attitude. My goal is to one day have this privilege and to be able to treat patients with the understanding and compassion that I have seen through so many nurses.
Eventually, I would like to do something that involves advocacy and policy. I believe that the nurses' unique ability to connect with patients allows them to see and understand problems that face certain populations and communities. I hope to use my future experience in a way where I can make change and solve problems that are common but not addressed. My goal is to continue learning after my formal education and to apply what I’ve learned to help make changes in our healthcare system.
Pediatric care is incredibly important in the framework of our current healthcare system. Designing and implementing appropriate interventions and screening tools are crucial towards ensuring that our children will grow into healthy, successful, and contributing members of society. Encompassing the mind and body within one’s philosophy of care is necessary, as this view is an important step in leading children down the right track towards healthy development. My personal philosophy of nursing lies within the idea that nurses are leaders, educators, and trusted members of the community and are pivotal in leading others on a path of wellness and safety. With recent hardships brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, ensuring that children can successfully reach their goals and become robust members of our community has never been more crucial. Striving to achieve this goal is the reason why I am passionate and excited about becoming a Pediatric Primary Care Nurse Practitioner program. The children of today are facing an incredible number of hardships, obstacles, and barriers to their physical and mental wellbeing, and I believe that I am up for the challenge to ensure that they can achieve their goals.
Throughout my nursing career, I have been dedicated to caring for pediatric patients. The experiences I have obtained range significantly, from helping to safely deliver newborns into the world to caring for children presenting to the pediatric ER. My love for caring for these particular patients in so many different realms has given me a unique and humbling perspective of the care that these patients so desperately need and deserve. Children need family-centered care, health promotion, primary prevention, as well as continued assessment, implementation, and evaluation of standards of care in order to thrive— and I look forward to guiding these patients and their families towards health and wellness.
Family-centered care is essential to the health and development of children and remains a core pillar in my everyday practice. As a pediatric primary care nurse practitioner, I would expand upon this ideal by putting my families at the forefront— working cohesively with them in order to provide exceptional care to their children. Recognizing the importance of a family’s impact upon the development of a child is vital, and I look forward to the opportunity to teach and grow with the families I would be serving. I am determined to work with patients and families to educate them on primary prevention, thereby bridging the knowledge gap that they may face to ensure the health and safety of children. General health, wellbeing, and preventative care starts in the home, and I am fully prepared to become a pivotal member of patients’ and families’ lives in the form of a pediatric primary care provider.
The opportunity to receive the Wieland Nurse Appreciation Scholarship is something that I feel very excited and passionate about. My true nursing passion lies within the pediatric population, and it is my goal to help children learn, grow, and develop into the absolute best versions of themselves. I have a plethora of knowledge about pediatric patients in the acute setting, and I am eager to expand my knowledge and skillset in regards pediatric primary care.
