The Heart of the Game Scholarship

“Are you a wolf, or a dog”, Bill Ressler. I always thought I was a wolf in life, driven by motivation and competition, willing to take down anything in my way. I wanted to believe I was the best, but all the actions I took only affected me on the surface level. In reality, I was as scared as a dog, afraid of what my life was going to be like, afraid to take any chances and try something new, because what if I wasn’t the best? Why would I want to try something new if I wasn’t going to be good at it? This was the negative mentality I’ve been carrying since middle school. When Covid-19 hit though, this mentality worsened. In the lockdown, my want to succeed lessened and lessened until I was barely doing my classwork on time. I realized I was only trying to be successful in front of others, and now that I was just alone with my computer I lacked any real motivation for my academics. The “heart” I was supposed to have for my future didn’t exist, my actions were fueled by the wants of my family and friends, nothing I was doing was reflecting the real me. This made my college search process extremely difficult since I didn’t know what I was looking for in a college. I ended up applying to California State Universities and Universities of California but wasn’t in love with any of the colleges. That was when I received an informational letter from Seattle University. One look at the campus, and I knew it was where I was going to attend college. I finally had found a goal that I wanted, and I was going to do anything to get it. I began pushing myself to limits I didn’t even know were possible. I’d stay up all night after a day of work and school just to make sure my application to Seattle University was perfect. The feeling of wanting something so bad just for my own sake made me so happy, it helped me realize something. To achieve my “heart” in academics, I needed to pursue what interested me, and not let anyone or anything hold me back. I knew that I was going to be alone on this journey to do what I love in life, but I was fine with that. As long as I was happy, I was content. So I started working over thirty-hour workweeks in school whilst applying myself to all my classes so I could receive Seattle’s academic scholarship. The never-ending nights, falling asleep in class, and feeling as if I could never achieve my goals stopped when I received my acceptance letter. I felt as if I had been stuck in a small dark room for my entire high school career, and the door had just opened to show light on the other side. My choice to attend Seattle University and major in my interests has helped me learn that nothing is out of reach. As long as I am accepting every opportunity possible and never doing less than my best effort, the outcomes will be in my favor. Life is very uncontrollable, but my “heart” to enjoy life and do what makes me happy, helps me get through those moments of adversity. Every action I take will create a reaction, and those reactions will make my future, so I always think about my future goal of happiness, and let my “heart” drive the way I react to the world.