Team Nolan Scholarship

Some of the fundamental years of my life were robbed by a very difficult setback in my home. In 5th grade, my family adopted a boy named Tristan meaning “to cry out.” The day we adopted Tristan, we renamed him Isaiah meaning “God Saves.” The first week we had Isaiah, he had irrational breakdowns. The first week became the first year. We were on eggshells, living with a time bomb waiting on the next blowup. Isaiah stole from me, abused my brother, tried to kill our pets, and tore our home to pieces. Our family was breaking because of a broken boy. In response to his behavior, we put him in therapy. In a short time though, my whole family was in therapy. Every Sunday was spent on our knees in church begging God for a change within our home for a boy that we knew the Lord loved. The difficulty our family experienced due to his outbursts, his defiance, and his disruptive behavior took a massive toll. After 4 1/2 years of turmoil and distress without progress, we sent Isaiah to inpatient therapy to get help. We eventually got a call that Isaiah was an untreated psychotic. We ultimately had to dissolve the adoption with the 6th member of our family. This was deemed a failure to everyone around us. It was an obstacle in my way of life. It was a setback in our family’s health. Every person in my family was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Our contact with Isaiah was terminated. To us, Isaiah died. However, it was not a failure. I went into high school with one less brother than I had for 50% of my life. I had two choices. I could mourn the loss of Isaiah and deem myself and my family a failure, or I could mourn the loss of Isaiah and understand that we did everything we could and would have to cope with the impact made on our lives. From this tragedy, I learned more than I could’ve imagined. I learned that I am stronger than I know. I am a great big sister to my younger brothers, I can endure longer than I would’ve thought possible, and some situations are out of my hands. Even greater is what I learned about the difference between failure and something not working. My family did not fail, my family gave their absolute all to Isaiah and his brokenness. Our family poured out to him for 5 years until we had nothing left. I have learned that just because something feels like failure, it does not deem it a failure. This is the most valuable lesson I could have ever learned. I apply this idea when I’m on the volleyball court, in the classroom, and in my relationships. While my heart still breaks for Isaiah, my heart did not fail him. I learned to protect my heart in healthy ways. Since this tragedy, I have seen myself have strength to persevere in so many situations that I would have otherwise let destroy me. The greatest lessons I could have learned came from Isaiah, and they are simply how to say “No,” and that God is still good. Because of this, my biggest goal is to help others overcome the difficulties I faced. Whether that is helping others mentally or physically, I want to be a helping hand to people in need. I plan on majoring in nursing or psychology so that I can aid others with the ability to empathize with others.