Ken Landry Memorial Scholarship

My freshman year of track went far differently than I had hoped. I put so much pressure on myself for constant excellence and success that track, and my performance slowly became what I thought made my life valuable. This constant fear of failure translated into competition day when I consistently failed to perform despite all the hard work I'd been doing year-round. Eventually, this constant anxiety and inability to perform at the level I knew I could pushed me to the point where, after my Sophomore year, I was one more lousy jump away from quitting. Fortunately, the summer before my junior year, I joined a new club track team and met 2 coaches who changed my perspective on my sport and even my self-worth. To sum up the impact my coaches had on me, I'll look back to a simple word of advice my coach gave me when I was mid-anxiety attack. While I was freaking out about how badly my first jump went, my coach asked me a simple question. He asked, "Can you physically do better than your best today?" After pondering this odd question for a few seconds, I gave a very quiet, very hesitant "...no?" To which he simply replied, "Then just do your best and have fun." Although I didn't fully understand the significance of that conversation, it clicked a few hours later while I was getting ready for bed. My coach was trying to tell me that I cannot physically do better than my best today. So, instead of worrying, I should rely on my training, try my best, and have fun. With that in mind and tons of trial and error during my junior year, I was finally able to come into my senior season with a new mindset and a why. I came to find out that my "why" or one of the reasons I love track is the people. When it comes to the atmosphere and general people you meet through the sport, track is unlike any other. You get the opportunity to connect individually with people you would never speak to outside of competition. You get to meet others from all over and connect over a shared interest. I found that when I focused on this during the competition, the anxiety about college, scholarships, and going D1 faded into the background. Instead of my thoughts being stuck on myself and the possible bad outcomes, I could reach out to others and connect with them. These connections helped me directly impact my competition as it allowed for the competition atmosphere to not be so cold and cutthroat all of the time. Of course, we think about winning when we're on the runway, but once we come off, we are all just friends. These fostered friendships then allowed me to partake in the celebration of other's wins and also pep talk others whenever they may've needed it. This aspect of track and this development helped transition me from the worried, shy, and anxiety-ridden freshman to the senior who could still be shy at times but carried herself with a new air of confidence and security that allowed her to thrive in high-pressure situations. It even built my confidence as my worth no longer lay with track and my performance in it. This development even allowed me to have a successful season as I finished 6th at the California State Meet and will now continue my track career at a Division 1 college.