Jonathan Tang Memorial Scholarship

As a child, I was carefree and happy; just like any other average person around my age. But growing up as the eldest daughter came with its own set of challenges. Being considered a "gifted child" in my family due to my intelligence and maturity from a young age, I felt the world's weight on my shoulders as I got older. Despite having a good family and a happy upbringing, my mental health began to spiral towards the end of my middle school years. At just thirteen years old, I felt like my life was slipping out of my grip. My parents, high school sweethearts since the 90s, were going through a difficult time. After being together for 26 years, they began talking about ending their relationship. They would fight almost every night, and for a while, both of them became more hostile towards my siblings and I. The echoes of their yelling over loud music and slamming doors those nights still ring in my mind. My parents were surprised when they found my journal because they thought everything was fine. But in reality, thoughts of darkness and pure hell lingered in my mind. Depression can be a soul-sucking experience. When quarantine happened in 2020, my mind went to the darkest places. I slept through most days and stayed up at night when my thoughts would creep up on me. Some days, I wouldn't even leave my bed. Every day seemed to blend into one, and even simple tasks like showering and eating became a challenge. With school canceled for the rest of the year, I felt trapped in an unhappy home with no escape. Although the pandemic brought a lot of bad, I believe that the loneliness is what I needed to grow. If I hadn't experienced things the way I did, I wouldn't be the person I am today. And for the record, I like who I am now. Looking back now, I can see how far I've come. When I finally returned to school in 2020, I was a freshman in high school and still struggling, especially in a new school with a different atmosphere. But being around people again was the first step to feeling better. Because I chose to go to a trade school, I chose "Design and Visual Communications" as my trade. There, I learned how to film and edit video and audio, along with the art of photography and graphic design. High school has also introduced me to the world of music. Since my sophomore year, I've been playing the flute in the school band. In my senior year, I picked up the acoustic guitar and learned how to play it both in and out of school. Music has helped me express myself, and listening to it has become a healthy form of coping. Learning new things and meeting new people has helped me become someone I can be proud of, and I'm confident that given my past experiences, I'll continue to cope with situations and my feelings better in the future.