HPF-RYW Orange Heart Scholarship

When I was a child, everything seemed normal to me. When my dad was mad at me, it was normal. The fear I had when I was a child came from bees outside or monsters in my closet, but when I grew up, I realized I had more to be afraid of. I was afraid of the man that I had spent ten years of my life with. He never spent time lurking in my closet to burst out and yell, "Boo!" He wasn't furry with sharp teeth. He was just my dad. When I was eleven, a social worker came to the house that my mom and I lived in. She knocked on the door and introduced herself. Since I was only in the fifth grade, I didn't know anything about social work at this point. This woman looked at me with eyes that showed care and compassion. I didn't know why she was there or why I needed to travel down the street to go to the family center, but I wasn't afraid of this woman. She sat me down on a couch and asked me about the experiences I had with my father. After I told her all that I could, my mother and I went back home. Two women came to my school to talk to me about how I was doing and if I was okay. Later, I found out that I could only communicate with my father once a month while someone watched us talk to each other. I only cried in these moments, but never spoke to him. I know many children go through experiences close to mine or very different than mine, but since I met the woman who came to my house that day, I wanted to be her. I want to help the little girl that has no clue what is going on and why her mother is crying on the phone every other day. Helping people, especially children, is something I have wanted to do ever since I found out what social work is. Nobody could take care of my father the way he needed to be taken care of when he was a child, which is what led up to me being treated the way I was treated. I want to show these children that they are not broken and nothing is wrong with them because of what someone else did to them. I want to be someone they can look up to for help in a time of need and confusion. Addiction is an issue with 21 million Americans, as of December 18, 2019. Many people turn to substances like opioids, alcohol, and other types of drugs to feel emotion or to not feel anything at all. Children with a horrible past grow up and don't want to think about what they had to see or live through as a child, so they turn to drugs so that they don't have to think about it anymore. Addiction is a symptom of a hurting child or person who is looking for anything to feel a warmth inside of them that they haven't been able to find for years.

I come from a big family of 10, being the co-oldest of 7 siblings. Throughout the years, I have had the privilege of experiencing my family grow both biologically and through adoption. My two youngest siblings are a brother and sister who share a biological mama! I feel so reassured that anything they face, they will be able to face together. In addition to the two youngest, my older brother (older by exactly 1 month, hence the “co-oldest”) has been with my family for 4 years, having joined our family when he was 13 years old. Experiencing the adoption/foster care process several times in my family so far, I have had many opportunities to interact with my siblings’ Social Workers. I think this is where my passion for the field originated! I spent my childhood surrounded by a group of people whose mission was to further the lives of the children they worked with. They served to advocate for the children without voices, children without family support, troubled children, and children that no one wanted to claim. I think back to the positivity that these Social Workers poured out on my family, and especially my siblings, and all I want to do is be that for someone else. One of the reasons I want to pursue education in Social Work is so that I can return the favor to those who have served my family so faithfully over the years. Addiction plays an interesting role in the Social Work field. My understanding is that addiction is something that affects a lot of children in the system, unfortunately. My older brother is one of those kids. His biological parents abused substances for his entire life, and still to this day. My brother has suffered learning curves, stress-inducing situations involving drugs and alcohol, and a deep understanding of drug abuse that no child should ever have to carry. Unfortunately, my brother’s situation is not unique. The state chose intervention in his case, removing him from his parents, his sisters, and his community to place him in a foster home. The goal in Social Work is always to work towards reunion with parents. For my brother, this has not been something that he can reasonably hope for. His parents were given the ultimatum of getting clean or sacrificing their relationship with their son. Over the years he has had to watch them choose their habits over and over. Addictions have been the primary source of childhood trauma that my brother has experienced. He will have to process this trauma for the rest of his life. Something I often wonder is what if my brother’s parents had had a better relationship with their own parents? What if they had not been exposed to addiction when they were children themselves? What if they had support in their young lives? Would they have felt the need to turn to substance abuse? And of course, how is their addiction going to keep on affecting my brother for the rest of his life? Addiction is a symptom of searching - reaching out desperately for support in this world. My heart goes out to those who have never been given a hand to hold.