As a lesbian studying school psychology, mental health, and LGBTQIA+ experiences are intertwined aspects of my personal and professional life. I have been impacted by both in profound ways, and they have influenced my aspirations and career goals.
Growing up in a small town, I felt like I was the only one struggling with my sexuality. I didn't know many other people who were openly LGBTQIA+, and I was constantly afraid of being judged and rejected by my peers and community. I tried to suppress my feelings and blend in, but it took a toll on my mental health. I felt isolated, anxious, and depressed. I didn't have anyone to talk to about my struggles, and I didn't even know how to articulate what I was feeling.
It wasn't until I went to college that I started to explore my sexuality and find a supportive community. I came out to my friends and family, and although it wasn't always easy, I felt a sense of relief and freedom. However, my mental health struggles persisted, and I realized that being LGBTQIA+ comes with unique challenges that can exacerbate mental health issues. Discrimination, stigma, and lack of support can lead to feelings of shame, self-doubt, and anxiety. I also learned that LGBTQIA+ youth are more likely to experience depression, suicidal ideation, and substance abuse than their heterosexual peers.
Fortunately, I was able to access mental health support in my adulthood. Therapy, medication, and self-care practices have helped me manage my anxiety and depression and improve my overall well-being. However, I know that not everyone has the same access to resources and support. In particular, LGBTQIA+ youth in rural areas and communities of color face significant barriers to accessing mental health services. They may not have a safe space to express their identity or a provider who understands their experiences.
As a school psychologist, I want to provide extensive support and community to the LGBTQIA+ population. I want to create a safe and inclusive environment where students can feel seen and valued for who they are. I want to advocate for policies and practices that promote equity and reduce discrimination. And I want to provide individualized and culturally responsive services to students who may be struggling with mental health issues.
I believe that mental health and LGBTQIA+ advocacy go hand in hand. By addressing the unique needs of LGBTQIA+ youth, we can promote positive mental health outcomes and foster a more accepting and compassionate society. I am committed to this work and inspired by the resilience and courage of the LGBTQIA+ community.
In conclusion, my experience as a lesbian and my struggles with mental health have shaped my perspective and aspirations. I am grateful for the support and community I have found and determined to provide the same for others. As a school psychologist, I hope to be an advocate for LGBTQIA+ youth and to help them thrive academically, socially, and emotionally.
If I could tell 13-year-old, closeted Theo, that we are alive and thriving in dental school, and that we're out and proud, they would not believe me. Even 19-year-old Theo, struggling to get through college during a pandemic, would not believe that we are in dental school.
I first started to question my sexuality around the end of middle school; I tried to write off this crush I had on my friend as a "friend crush", but once I got to high school, I couldn't deny it anymore. When I was a sophomore in high school, I tentatively came out to my friends over text as bisexual, and they were very supportive. Over the next few years, I started coming out to more and more people, except for my family, who I knew wouldn't be supportive.
During my freshman year of college, I started dating my first girlfriend. I am so grateful that I was in this relationship; I learned so much about myself, who I was, and what I wanted out of my life. I came out as a lesbian when I was a sophomore in college, and also came out as non-binary. Figuring out my identity was something absolutely essential to my well-being.
As wonderful as being myself was, it was made more difficult by some of the people in my life. I was not out to my parents; the only people in my family that I had come out to at this point were my sister, younger cousin, and one of my aunts. I went through an incredibly tough couple of months during my sophomore year of college, and this culminated in a mental health crisis. In March of 2021, I tried to take my own life. It was a scary time, and I don't like to think about it too much, but it was an alarming time for me and my girlfriend at the time. I never told anyone about it except my close friends and my girlfriend; I knew that the backlash I'd receive from my family members would only harm me more. I started therapy after this experience, and my queer therapist was one of the people who saved my life. I owe him so much, and I have never been more grateful for a human being.
Things seemed to be getting better, but in the fall of my junior year of college, I was outed to my parents. The 44-minute phone call with my dad, after my parents learned this information, drained everything out of me, and I felt physically ill for weeks on end. Thank god for my friends, my therapist, and my girlfriend at the time, because without them, I would not have made it out of that situation alive. I experienced some of the worst verbal and emotional harassment during that year of college; I even experienced my first breakup. But I made it out alive, and now, as I'm writing this, I can confidently say that I have never been prouder of myself.
Being a lesbian and being non-binary sometimes makes me feel like I'm an outsider; like there's no place I belong. But with the support of my friends, I have been able to live authentically in a way that makes me so happy. I wish that 13-year-old Theo could see me now; they would be so incredibly proud of me. I hope they know I'm proud of them too.
