Daniel V. Marrano Memorial Scholarship Support for Mental Health

Bipolar disorder has been a blessing and a curse. I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 20 years old. I was 12 years old when I started experiencing symptoms. I Grew up in an unstable environment without access to mental healthcare. I had no idea what was happening and had no way to control it. I would go through times when I was out all night, making decisions not to be able to get out of bed for school for lengthy amounts of time. I moved out of my mother's house permanently when I was 16 and alone. I got pregnant in high school due to risky behaviors. I had a healthy pregnancy and graduated high school when my daughter was six months old. I brought her to school with me to graduate. When I turned 18, I started to pursue my mental health services for my sake, but also my daughter's. That's when I began to meet with my managers and got a diagnosis of anxiety and depression. Around 20, I found the reason why the antidepressants weren't working. It was because I had bipolar disorder. My meds have been changed, increased, decreased, discontinued, and added consistently. There is no exact science to medications, and finding the right combination is difficult because everyone reacts differently. I gave up multiple times. I struggled with medication management until about four years ago when I committed. When I was hospitalized years ago for bipolar and substance use, I had some nurses who changed my life and understood what I was going through. They gave me hope when I didn't think there was any. I am in recovery from substance use disorder, and I have been sober for three years now as well. Until about four years ago, I could not keep a steady job. Whenever I would go into mania or depression, it would severely impact my work. Sometimes, I wouldn't even be able to go physically. I worked for the same company for the past four years. I work in mental health and have a great management team that helps me prioritize self-care. I have a safe environment where one of the symptoms of bipolar starts to affect me. I can speak with my boss and come up with a plan. If I didn't have a support system like I do today, I wouldn't be a functioning adult. I receive accommodations through the college. I never thought I could handle college, but because of my accommodations, it's manageable. I meet with my PCP and psychiatrist once a month to check in and adjust my meds when needed, as well as a therapist weekly. I make my medications a priority. I'm a supervisor at a Co-occurring mental health disorder and substance use disorder program. Having bipolar disorder has given me a different perspective on life. I'm in a place where I can have healthy relationships; I can handle being a single mother, a college student and an employee. I want to help people get stabilized and on their feet. I am currently attending SMCC in the health sciences - nursing program. My goal is to go into psychiatric nursing. It took me a long time to get to where I am. Mental health disorders are exhausting; It is a daily struggle. I know how hard it can be. I feel like I have a lot to offer people who are struggling. I want to be able to give people hope in their darkest times.