Dajah Moore Memorial Scholarship

Being a young black woman at a predominately white institution is no easy task. It takes courage, strength, and honor to be surrounded by individuals who do not understand you, nor do they want to. Growing up, I was surrounded by diverse groups of people of many different cultures and ethnicities. I grew up loving and seeking diversity. So when I attended a private Catholic high school with a minute sum of people who looked like me, or any other people of color in general it was a shock to me. Since attending high school, I have experienced depression, stress, and insecurity due to the color of my skin. White students have gotten away with saying the “n” word to other black students with zero repercussions. The diversity club at my school hosted a black history month assembly and received horrible feedback from the white student body. We were told to “leave if we did not like it here.” I have never felt more unseen in my entire life, than the four years I spent at my high school. As it relates to the romance department in my personal life, I haven’t been asked on a single date, let alone to a high school dance by any of the guys from my school. And when I try to discuss it with some of my girlfriends that are white, they just respond with “Oh it’s ok girl, I don’t have a date either.” But what they fail to realize is, they don’t have a date by choice, I don’t have a date due to the environment I’m placed in, and how the individuals in this environment perceive me. As a result, for the longest time, I deemed myself as unattractive. I didn’t love myself for who God created me to be. Discovering who I am and what I stand for these past four years has been quite a struggle. To be frank, I am still figuring that out. There are times when I wish that I could go back to being a child. A time of innocence and carefreeness that has never felt so far out of reach. Where no one cared about what your race was, how much money your family had, or even what you packed for lunch. I wish that everyone had the love and open-mindedness that children have, instead of the hate and division politics and social justice issues have created today. The experiences that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of myself are through watching old black films. To some that might sound cliche, but it is the honest truth. Some of Hollywood’s most iconic films such as “Bring It On”, “The Color Purple”, and “Harriet” have made me acknowledge the beauty, history, and strength that comes along with being black. Film watching has become one of my favorite hobbies that I developed over quarantine. Not only has this hobby expanded my love for black film, but it has also expanded my love for my culture, community, and history. I also placed myself in extracurricular activities a school with others that are similar to me physically, and in the aspect of beliefs and daily struggles. I did this through joining clubs that catered to people who were like me, a young person of color maneuvering a white world. Over time, I also had to learn to accept myself for being a black woman, to understand that I am special, I have a voice that matters, and I deserve to be loved by someone who sees me for all that I am.