Carey Jackson Future Leaders Scholarship

From the moment I set foot on Spelman Campus, I knew this would be a life-changing experience. Originally, I come from a small town in North Texas--and like most small towns in the south, I was surrounded by white people. I grew up attending a predominately-white school from grades k-12; I remember being able to count the number of black faces in my school on my tiny hands. It felt like my "blackness" was always on trial there, that I was not the target of my school's mission. The high school and educator taught only how to succeed in White America as a respectable, white person. They never dared to tell us blacks how to fit into their mold; instead, they would make it their job to keep all the "colored" individuals into the on-level courses. Being shown this treatment from such a young age, I learned to better myself out of spite. If the average school GPA were 3.4, I would aim for a 3.8 or higher. If Ms. Tucker started a simple class discussion about the eighth amendment, I would debate back-and-forth senselessly about how said has never truly applied to people that looked like myself. And if every single kid went to graduate and attend a Texas university, I would push myself further out of my comfort zone by going out of state. I never allowed them to stuff me into the perfect, white mold they tried so hard for me to fit. I wanted to carve my path out; so far, my school of Spelman College has granted me all liberty for me to do. When we had our first freshman convocation during New Student Orientation week, the first thing they told us was, "it's not a question if you're all smart; what we want to see is how we, as Spelman, open the door wide enough for your ambitions." Spelman College's purpose has been developed to make black women create the America they desire, to give us a place where we could actually grow into the women we wished to become. From the teachers to the visiting alumnae I have interacted with, they have all mirrored the perfect Spelman Women that I have heard so much about; the school had gifted them a chisel and hammer, and they transformed themselves into masterpieces. Every day that passes by, the reasons why I have come here have changed. Coming to campus, I thought I was still competing in the solo education four-by-four that I was conditioned to run all my academics. Yet, I soon realized that the game had changed; I was no longer alone fighting against the system. The system and the student around me were here for my benefit for the first time. I finally saw how schools were meant to engage and assist students; and how it felt to be properly seen as an intellectual and not just the smart, black girl. Being here, I get to see myself in everyone. I get to meet so many women from different parts of the country who have allowed me to grow in my thoughts. I get to meet women in my field of study who live past their own expectations to inspire girls like me. My Spelman College has changed my perspective of myself; it has shifted my thoughts on how I want to be known. I want to take my four years to embody the spirit of a Spelman woman, to metamorphose into the strong, black woman that molds the world into my own vision.

I have lived so much of my life through my feet. Football (soccer) has been a familiar part of my life since I was a young child. The ball at my feet, the running, and the wind tearing against my face-it is exhilarating! After playing, no matter how much I have run, or whether fatigue has weighed my body down, I still feel a buzz of energy in my body. Football is a quintessential part of my being. Football is my happiness. Although it started as something that built up my relationship with my father, it became something that, like my father when he was growing up in Ethiopia, became my favorite thing to do. Football also played a significant role in my life because it was the start of my enjoyment of many other sports throughout my life, and athletics have been important to me for a long time. One day, as I was teaching English at a local, impoverished school not far outside the capital city of Ethiopia, I watched the young boys' football team play at recess. The palpable joy on their faces was something I understood well. As the most popular sport in Ethiopia, most boys passionately took part in the game. I casually asked a teacher who I was sitting with when the girls' team had practice if the boys played at recess. The teacher gave me a strange look and flatly told me that there was no girls’ team, as though I had suggested something ridiculous. As I inquired, horrified, as to why there was no female football program, the teacher told me no one had even thought about it; none of the girls would ever want to play. “Only boys need to run around,” the teacher told me matter-of-factly with his limited English-speaking skills. He then went on to say, in his native language Amharic, that none of the parents would allow their female children to participate. This revelation shocked me more than it should have, being in a more rural setting that still conforms to extremely traditional gender roles. I was immensely dismayed that these girls, who lived relatively close to me, were still restrained by old-fashioned ideas of what girls could do. I wanted to show them that girls could do anything. Being a girl who has enjoyed sports so much throughout her entire life and has been fortunate enough to grow up without the same stigma around participating in sports compelled me to take action. I went to the administrator and insisted that a girls football team must be formed (football was the only sport at the school.) I proposed that it is beneficial for female health to take part in sport, and that if the boys were allowed to do it; the girls should be permitted as well. After that, I no longer spent time teaching English; instead I trained coaches and worked on logistics to ensure that any girl at that school who enjoyed sports even half as much as I did could do so freely. In the future, I wish to continue to pursue this on a much larger scale. I want to provide opportunities for girls who do not have them, whether that is in athletics, education, work, or against anything that continues to perpetuate inequality and unhealthy gender stereotypes for girls. This has continually been a significant issue in Africa, and that is where I would want to start breaking down the gender traditions that are plaguing my country and my continent and failing all of their girls by not giving them an equal chance.

My life is an essay. It would be simple to believe that one experience cannot alter a lifetime, but just as each paragraph of an essay frames the next, each chapter of my life is influenced by my past. Each paragraph holds a piece of the conclusion in its length, just as my life experiences hold influence over my end goal. Within my lifetime I have endured many pivotal moments of adversity that have shaped and molded me into the woman that I am today. The drive and passion that I have for clinical psychology, social work, and fighting for social justice are products of the influence my past experiences have on me. I was born into a family of therapists and social workers, but that was not the full extent of my exposure to the world of mental health care. When I was eight years old, my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Since I was young, the world of psychology was a mystery to me. At first my interest was rooted in the lack of understanding of why my mother was the way she was, but eventually it grew into a desire to help people like her and myself who had endured mental illnesses so close to home. When my mother got sick, she, my four younger siblings, and I moved in with my grandparents so that they could aid her in raising five young children. Throughout my childhood I was exposed to the world that I now hope to be a part of. I grew up around my aunts, one of whom was a social worker and foster mother. My early adolescence was filled with foster-cousins, which allowed me to experience the foster care system second-hand. I have seen a lot of sweet children who were hurting due to a system built to protect them. A lot of these children have been family to me, and my desire to want to help them was the spark that ignited my passion for foster care reform. While becoming a clinical psychologist and foster mother are two of my most personal goals in life, I am just as adamant about social justice. My childhood trauma, struggle with my own mental health, as well as the loss of my late grandmother, and the most recent loss of my primary care provider and family breadwinner to the hands of incarceration are all experiences that have helped me build thicker skin. These experiences inspire me to fight not only for myself and my family, but for every other person in the world who might not have someone to fight for them. I believe all people deserve the opportunity to have someone care for and fight for them. In order to ensure my desire to help others in this manner, I pursue the further of my education. As I am obtaining my undergraduate degree in psychology, I aspire to obtain a Master's degree in social work. My dream career is being able to help and fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. Furthering my education will allow me to become the resource that is necessary to help those who need it. It is with scholarships such as the Carey Jackson Future Leaders Scholarship, that I will be able to complete my higher education without the financial stress that comes with college expenses and loans. I want to thank the donor, and on behalf of all the applicants, express our gratitude for individuals such as Carey Jackson that desire to help us reach our goals and aspirations.