On March 15, 2025, I was sitting on the couch with my younger brother and my mom, watching a movie. I heard my father entering the living room on the phone. He snaps his fingers in my mom's face as he gives an address to whom he is speaking. He then mouthed to my mom sternly to get her shoes on.
Me and my 2 younger brothers lingered in the kitchen as my parents were at the hospital, and I continuously checked my Life360 app to see when they were coming home. I will never forget seeing the app show them driving home, and my older brother's phone with them. I thought he was coming home.
That day, that week, and this entire year have produced battles I never thought I would have to endure. As I am writing this, it has been exactly 1 year and 1 day since my older brother Christian passed away in a motorcycle accident. He was the oldest of us 4, an incredibly smart individual with a genuine personality, my parents' “little professor”. The thing about grief that you cannot understand until you experience it is the variation of struggles that appear from the death of a loved one. Not only did I have to grieve and mourn my oldest brother who I spent every day for 16 years of my life with, whom I bickered relentlessly. Who I looked up to and copied growing up, and who I bothered with intense hugs and annoyances. But I also had to watch my family grieve. I had to watch my mom battle acceptance and my father break down. I had to watch my younger brother experience emotional struggles that they should not have to experience at such a young age, let alone ever. The biggest aspect of grief I experienced was guilt and regret. I loved my brother, but it doesn't feel like I loved him hard enough. Thoughts involving what more I could have done and how I could have been better to him still haunt me, and that is something I can no longer change.
During the months before Christians death, I was struggling with my mental health and an intense eating disorder. I was unable to see a future for myself. When Christian died, it forced me to reflect on the need for change. Christian didn't want to die. Christian had a path. Picking myself up and making a change was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I made the choice because he couldn't. I finished my senior year of high school with a 3.75 GPA. I worked hard to save up money for school. I started recovery for my eating disorder and really committed. I went to therapy and started medication. I failed, and I failed over and over, but I refused to let that be the end because it couldn't be. I needed to be there for my family, I needed to be present. Now, a year has passed. I am reminded of him everywhere. As much as grief has a hold on me, the reminders push me to keep going, to keep trying, pushing, and growing. I am now at Arizona State University pursuing a degree in Organizational Leadership ( Project Management). I am present and consistently putting my efforts toward my loved ones. My focus is on focusing on what matters most to me, living.
A recent challenge I have faced in the past few years was the loss of my younger sibling, Evelyn. Evelyn was six years old at the time, during my freshman year, when she suddenly passed away due to sepsis. Evelyn went from a perfectly healthy kid to very sick within 3 days of her passing. As her older brother, this killed me, as I have always thought it was my job to protect her. It was very sudden, and there wasn’t a lot of time to react, so this put a lot of stress not only on me but on my family as well. Initially, I was heartbroken and still am to this day, but my first thought was to console and try to help my parents and my other younger sister. To me, trying to help my family was the best thing I could do as we were all trying to support each other. While proceeding throughout the week of her passing, I knew the entire process as a whole wasn't going to be easy. The support of my community in the small town of Huron, Ohio, made us realize, however, how important our community was to my family. Though my initial response throughout the week may not have been the best. This whole experience has made me grow personally, and it has made me resilient to many other scenarios I now face to this day. Smaller issues that I face day to day, whether at home or at school, are now easily controlled by the things I have learned from that awful experience. Evelyn was very energetic every day and never backed down from anything new or different. Knowing that she was like this, I try to take her view on life and use it in mine. Being outgoing, energetic, and brave are very useful traits to have in life. I now use her memory as motivation to not only do better in life, but also make a difference while succeeding in whatever I do. Not only that, but I have learned new coping mechanisms to help me get through everyday life. The experience has helped me learn to take a step back when I’m overwhelmed, take a deep breath, and then continue to work on whatever I am working on. I am now able to handle much more stress while still keeping a positive attitude towards life as a whole! Even though that situation may have been extremely sad, I have been able to use it to help propel me in a positive direction.
Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult and gut-wrenching experiences one can ever go through in life. Losing my little brother Evan, who we affectionately call E, was the most tragic event I have ever experienced. The accident occurred 5 years ago, just 3 weeks after he turned 10. He was trying to make it from California to Texas to see me compete on Team USA after making the US National Football team. My mom and I flew out to start practices, but Evan was afraid to fly so he decided to travel out with our dad, and grandparents, in their RV instead. He was called home when my grandpa fell asleep behind the wheel in Arizona and the RV rolled. An accident that severely injured my dad and other family members in the RV.
After the accident occurred, I had to battle through grief and indescribable pain and depression, despite having a demanding schedule of being a full-time student, keeping my grades up, scouting and completing my Eagle rank project requirements, volunteering for the American Brain Tumor Association, playing football, and working to help my family financially. Football alone is demanding with the mandatory before and after school practice schedule, rigorous workouts and training. It took so much strength and perseverance for me to stay focused and committed to these endeavors, but I knew I couldn’t let my angel down. I found strength in the amazing support network around me, numerous brothers on my football team who were there for me on my toughest days and leaned into my faith heavily to see me though.
After Evan’s passing, I dedicated over 500 community service hours to rebuilding the desert tortoise rehabilitation pens at The Living Desert Zoo in Palm Desert, California for my Eagle Scout Project. The desert tortoise is our State Reptile and is endangered, but more than that, my little brother fell in love with them when he did his first-grade school project on them, and I knew I had to find a way to help them. It was a difficult and emotional project that took me over a year and a half to plan and carry out, wrought with many obstacles including a windstorm that almost destroyed it, but one that was so meaningful to me and helped the Living Desert Zoo with establishing their Head Start program, in conjunction with the San Diego Zoo, to help rear baby desert tortoises from hatchlings to a size big enough to reintroduce them into the wild. The pens I built will help with the last step of the process, acclimating them to the harsh desert conditions before release.
I also helped establish the Evan Fuentes Campership Fund with our local California Inland Empire Scouting Council with donations received from family and friends. The campership fund helps children in need pay for scout summer camp and leadership retreats in hope that it develops the same love of scouting, outdoors and camping as Evan had.
Ultimately, the loss of my little brother has helped shape my calling in life. My lifelong goal is to continue to share my passion for helping others by becoming a firefighter and earning my bachelor’s in business administration, so I can move up the ranks in the department I end up working for. I want to be able to save as many lives as possible in hope that other families don’t have to say good-bye to their loved ones prematurely.
