I am the person who I wished I had when I was younger for future Latinos.

Everything I wanted to do was on a timeline, accomplishments I would achieve when I would be a certain age. I had that mindset since elementary school as I grew older I realize life is full of surprises. My first year of high school I had a road map for myself, I would graduate at 18 go to college, graduate at 22, meet someone by 25 and have kids at 26. I was quickly humbled in 2020. It was my sophomore year at Concordia University, a private school in Portland, Oregon. I was 19 at the time and told myself I already graduated from high school and am now completing my bachelor's degree. At the time I was a pre-med major and during the first semester, I had lost my cousin and two of my uncles. My grades were suffering because of it and I started to doubt myself if I can complete the year. I eventually started to do better academically and as I felt like my plan was still on track the Board of Regents had announced the closure of the college due to financial troubles. I felt like I was in a nightmare. I didn't what to do for I have gone to college because of the scholarship I was offered. I was also out of state and didn't know if I could continue studying in Oregon. Eventually, I decided to go back home but on the bright side at least I had a couple of months to finish out strong and be with my friends--or so I thought. The school was shut down again but this time due to the pandemic of COVID-19, I felt like I had no sense of control. I was in flight mode and trying to do my studies, book a flight back to my home state, pack and have my dorm cleaned by certain deadlines. I flew back to Idaho, my home state, and finished strong online, having A's and one A-. After the semester wrapped it was quarantine and I was in my room wondering what was I going to do for the rest of my life. If I continued my studies it would add another year and that left me feeling defeated. I have decided to switch my major to Health Science so I can "finish" on time. I decided to go to community college in my hometown because it would be cheaper to then transfer to a University. When taking classes I realized most of my classmates were 10 or 20 years older than me. It felt like a weight had been lifted off seeing that timelines are never accurate. I still wasn't sure what I was doing and felt like I'm behind, so I signed up for various classes. One class I signed up for was a CNA course and I instantly fell in love with the healthcare field. I told myself that getting healthcare experience is a must for medical school, so after I completed the course I got a job at my local hospital and worked there for a year. I worked close with amazing nurses and saw everything they do for patients which made me appreciate nursing. I'm bilingual as well and there is a growing population with Hispanics and being able to help out my community I felt like I was needed. After six months of working at the hospital, I have decided nursing is what I want to do. It feels natural, I feel helpful towards my community and took all the experiences to make me choose this as my career.

"You're young you're not supposed to have it all figured out." I was 18 when that was said to me by my college advisor. It was the second month into the semester and I switched from health science to undecided. When I told her about the switch I wanted to make she knew I had this look of guilt, she asked me what was wrong I told her that I felt like I was failing everyone. She asked me to elaborate and I told her that I am the oldest of my family and the first generation to go to college. I told her it felt as if I was letting my family down because I didn't know exactly what to do or if they wasted their sacrifices for my siblings and me. Almost teary-eyed my advisor told me that I will be fine, she reminded me that I'm only 18 and barely have entered the real world. I learned she would be right later on. A year later I am still undecided and going to school but then the Board of Regents announces that the university will cease operations after the spring of 2020. It felt like the world was flipped upside down. For the remainder of the week, I felt angry, sad, and betrayed but I had to keep moving forward. I was unsure where I was going to continue my education. The main reason I went to this university was because of the financial aid reward they offered me. I looked at other colleges but the price was more expensive. I knew staying in Oregon wasn't an option anymore. I decided to go back to my home state which was Idaho. I felt stuck because I didn't know what to study. I eventually applied to a university in Nampa and got a decent financial package. There for a brief moment, I felt like I picked myself up but then the school closed its doors again due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Quickly I flew back home and stayed in quarantine like the rest of the world. During that time I was in my thoughts trying to figure out what to do with my life. I compared myself to other classmates I graduated with and saw they were ahead of me. I couldn't help but feel like a failure. With expenses and the state of the world, I decided to get my associate's first, I went through the liberal arts degree but decided to sign up for a CNA class for elective credits. The class was only supposed to be for credits but the material that was being taught I develop a liking to the subject. I ended up taking my skills and written test, passed the first time and got a job at a hospital. It was a different experience working the field than learning it. It was a tough job mentally, physically and emotionally but hearing words from patients that they have never seen a CNA so ambitious to help out and seem to enjoy the job. I am bilingual as well and helping out those who are in my community and seeing them happy when someone who looks like them can help, made my day. I wanted to excel in my career in healthcare as a nurse. I have worked with extraordinary nurses and saw what they do and decided to pursue that career. I have finished my prerequisites for nursing and got accepted into a program that I will start this Fall.

"There are a bunch of Latinos that will be applying with the same background." That was said to me by my high school counselor when I was applying to colleges. The sentence has then stuck with me and made me feel if anything about me was special or application is worth considering. Since I was a little girl my parents have made it known education is the most important thing. When the time was getting closer I was stumped by essay prompts by overthinking what could make me stand out from the hundreds upon thousands of applications that applied. I waited until the last possible second wondering what about my story would be worth telling. I would lay awake wondering if I wanted to go to college or if I would just live out my parent's dream. I wanted to test that theory so during my last semester of high school I would join different clubs and classes trying to see what I wanted to do with my life. I joined business classes and thought it was too boring, I tried doing science and thought it would be more of a hobby, tried arts and didn't work out. I was on the cusp of giving up until I saw a CNA class available, doing that I immediately felt a click. I decided the healthcare field is my calling. I didn't know what exactly at the time but I knew being with people at their time of need is what did it for me. I finished the CNA class and got my certification and decided to work as one. I worked at the hospital at first it was all overwhelming because it is in real life but eventually I got the hang of it. In my town, there is a growing Hispanic community that would have patients who would only speak Spanish. I would be assigned to them and seeing their eyes gleam up when I would introduce myself in their native language made me feel helpful. The patients would tell me how they are glad to see someone from their community help give them hope. That is where my passion for nursing began. I knew I wouldn't be the first of the first to be a Mexican-American nurse but by entering the profession I would benefit my community. I could be the change not only for myself but for my parents as well. I can set examples for my younger siblings and anyone else who looks like me. I would also want to be a mentor for future Latinos who have an interest in nursing or first generations. While going to school I didn't see much resources for Latinos or first generation and as a result, can see why the percentage is low for those who hold a higher degree. I want to be a resource for those who may not have it. I want to make higher education seem possible for those and as well help my community when they most need it. My high school counselor may be correct about those who have a similar background as me but he didn't say how many of them are as dedicated as me.

"I hope to see you all again," I told my friends before I went back to Idaho. I was in Oregon at the time going back home to finish the school year online. It was March 13th, 2020 when it was stated that COVID-19 is a worldwide pandemic. For most schools, they got one shutdown. For my school, it was the second one. A month before the world announcement, the head chair of the board for Concordia University announced that after spring 2020 it will cease operations. During that time I was experiencing anger, sadness, and betrayal. I thought to myself how stupid could I be to pick a school that was going to close down during my second year? I call my parents and tell them the news and explain to them in worry if I could continue my education since one of the reasons I've chosen to attend Concordia was because of the financial aid I received. A few weeks later there was a college fair and I was looking at colleges in Oregon to go to with my friends but when looking at the prices I was realizing that staying in Oregon may be out of my parent's price range. I leave the fair and go into my dorm crying that I can't continue with my friends. I fell in love with the city and state and realized I have to look elsewhere for my education. While in my dorm I start doubting if I picked the right major. I was a pre-med major and starting to question if I see myself doing it. I put that thought aside and wanted not to waste my parent's sacrifices or give a bad example to my younger siblings. I decided to see what other colleges were at the fair. I read a sign that said NNU in Nampa, Idaho. I told myself it was a sign to go back home. I went up to the table, and the lady smiled and greeted me and asked about my plans. I responded with pre-med, and she gave me a pamphlet that it is one of the best colleges in Idaho for pre-medical studies. "This is a sign" I whispered to myself and applied for it. The hardest part was leaving my friends and the home I made myself behind. It was a silver lining for the circumstance and told my friends that we have a couple of months left together--or so we thought. Two weeks later the school closed again due to the worldwide pandemic. I felt like I was kicked down again. I panicked again calling my parents since Oregon was going to be in quarantine in just a few days. My parents send me money for a flight. I started packing, while looking for a flight, doing my classes and applying for scholarships. The following day I spent with my closest friends, Lydia and Daniel and as they were packing and getting ready to go home we stand in an empty dorm and say " I hope to see you guys again," After that, they left and I was there for an extra day. I flew back to Idaho and I stood there in an empty airline trying to process everything that happened. The next thing I knew I was in quarantine. I needed experience in medicine so I got a job as a CNA, there I saw nurses doing the most for patients, all in a time of need. I realized that is my calling. A couple of years after finishing my prerequisites I'm starting nursing school.

It was like staring at a mirror. Seeing the look of confusion on her face, the same doubts and worries I once had. The behavior is in her friend too and I knew it all too well so I decided to become their Yoda and natigaviate them through their first year of college. I am a part of the first generation. I was the first in my family to graduate high school and go on to college. During my whole high school experience I had to figure out myself because both my parents went until middle school. College was a whole different and difficult obstacle. I learned how to complete the FAFSA application, apply for scholarships, create a financial plan, register for classes, and for the first time go out of state by myself on an airplane with my luggage. I had three years of college experience under my belt and soon it was my sister's turn. Her entire life she has looked up to me and saw everything I overcame and inspired her to get a higher education. She decided to go to the same college as I did but didn't know how to apply, I took time teaching her how to apply, which portal goes through as a student. I taught her where FAFSA is and how to set it up and apply for it. I gave her a tour of the school and showed her where the cafeteria, register, financial aid, student event center, and where her classes would be. In the middle of the semester, she introduced me to her friend Lisa who was in the same predicament. She didn't know how to sign up for classes next term I showed her how to do it online and asked questions about her major and showed her the catalog of classes she needs to take and sign up for the recommended classes. At the end of the semester, I explained to them what is 'dead week' and how it's not like high school where there is an early dismissal it is an hour or so that is scheduled and go in and do the final. The beginning the following school year my sister asked me if I could show her friends that are incoming college freshmen the ways to navigate. I agreed and did, I was someone who I seek when I was starting college. I felt like I had a purpose and despise all the hardships where I felt like I had no idea what was I doing. I want to continue that in my career as well. I want to become a nurse to help my community which is known to postpone healthcare. I want them to realize there is someone that looks like them and speaks the language to help them. After getting experience in the healthcare field I want to become a mentor for future first-generation students that have an interest in healthcare. I want to use my experience with my sister and Lisa to help a greater cause. I want to become the mentor I needed when I was 18 years old. There will plenty of more who will share that experience and I want to be the first one to guide them.

February 10th 2020, I was ready to take my statistics test that morning. I woke up to my alarm at 8:30 and saw a group text from the school that Tom Ries, the chair of the school board needed to see the whole student body at 10am. I found my friend Daniel and walked over to the assembly room, at first I was thinking that someone has caught COVID since the first case was confirmed. There was another rumor of lice but all was hearsay. Tom Ries stands and announces that after spring 2020 Concordia University will cease operations. It was my sophomore year at the institution. I had already made memories and life time friends and it was all gone with that one sentence. After the assembly was over everyone was walking back and calling their parents to tell them the news. I was afraid to tell mine. I am the first generation who graduated high school and was the first to attend college. I was afraid I have let them down by choosing a college to have later close its doors before I could graduate from it. I went to my dorm that afternoon and called my parents. To my surprise, they were supportive and asked what my next plan is. I froze, I wasn't thinking about the next step. I panicked. I only attended this school because of the scholarship I had received. I didn't know if I could afford to go to another college. I explained panicky to my parents and they later calmed me down and told me everything will work out. A few weeks later there was a college fair and I visited other colleges that Oregon had to offer. They were too expensive. I left the convention early and cried in my dorm knowing I couldn't stay because it was out of my parent's financial range. I felt defeated and looked at the list of other colleges that would be there. I saw a few Idaho colleges, in my home state. I took a deep breath and knew my best option was to go back home and continue my studies there. I went back to the fair and visited the NNU that was in Nampa. It had everything I would have wanted. The programs were extraordinary and the price was decent. I have chosen that school and felt relief. Even though the school that had become home had no future I would at least have two more months with my friends--or so I thought. Shortly after the fair, it was now March. The weather was getting nice and I, like the rest of the student body was trying to make the last months most of it. On March 13th 2020, I was in Daniel's room and he came back from his class and told me to check my student email, that's when it was announced that COVID was a worldwide pandemic. The rest of the semester was canceled and everyone was heading home. I was devastated once again, my time with my friends was cut even shorter. For the rest of the day I was trying to complete my finals, look for scholarships, book a flight and pack. On March 23rd I was in Idaho and on lockdown. During that time I reflected and accepted what was going around me. At a time of uncertainty, I decided to look that this new opportunity as good news that kept me going. I graduated in 2022 and realized it did happen for a reason and found that my calling is nursing.